Sprinkler

Lately I have felt as if my life is running through a sprinkler. No control, mind everywhere, can't focus, trying to find meaning, trying to find a path. I've been pouring over my thoughts, daydreams, and desires in search of a direction. Mostly, though, just getting frustrated because I have so many interests and wants that my mind was spitting out exactly what I was putting in, and nothing was bonding together. It was similar to water going through a sprinkler - feeling the need to get everything done at once and not getting one solid stream of thought - everything flying everywhere. All my thoughts, daydreams, and desires have been sprinkling out all over the place.

I feel as if I can help other people get direction. I feel as if I am supportive and nurturing to others' desires, but what about my own? Where do I fall into the mix? I have put myself on the backburner because I have trouble forming a solid path and direction for myself. I have been trying to play catch up with my blogs, my book idea (that has been sitting in my mind for wayyyy tooo long), my education, and it is so frustrating to me. Well, not anymore. I have finally put my thoughts in one place, organized and filed in my brain (which is a rarity for me, because I am far from being an organized person), and am focusing. I've started writing down my goals to make them a permanent part of my daily thoughts, I've started reflecting on what matters most to me, and most of all, I am getting back to me. It is just a start - and each day I'll get more focused...at least I hope.

Admitting that I need to focus is not a bad thing. I think it is the first step towards my personal growth and eventual success.