I think I am either depressed or putting myself in a depression, and I need to snap out of it. Things just keep happening - on top of everything else.....
The kids and I were playing in the big grassy area behind our house and a man was walking his dog. He was the nicest man and his enormous German Shepherd was the nicest dog I've ever met, except for my old trainer's dog Rain. This dog was so docile and sweet, and loved playing ball with my kids. Well, the kids got tired and started walking for the gate to get in our backyard. I didn't realize P was about to open it and my two dogs charged out after the German Shepherd. They started attacking it and chasing it. My dogs are minute in comparison to the German Shepherd, and I think the German Shepherd understood that. She thought she could just outrun them, well, as she ran my dogs kept jumping up and attacking her. I couldn't get them and the kids kept running toward the action. I was sick with fear of a dog fight and sick with fear that whoever won would be in a rage and hurt my children.
I yelled at the kids to stay back and tried running to get my dogs - dumb, b/c I can't keep up with a running dog. The man got his dog to finally come to him and I snatched Piper and he immediately went into a submission. I carried him back home, disgusted. Loki ran off.
The kids were scared to death. I was scared to death. The man laughed and said "well, this isn't a very nice way to end a very nice evening." really?! ya think? I had the kids with me and we had to hunt down Loki. P pretended she was on a quest, and that was cute enough to break the horrible angst I was feeling over the situation. Luckily, Loki didn't get too far, but I had to carry her fatty boom-battiness back to the house. I had been worried about the dog, and for due cause.
Saturday morning the man showed up at our doorstep. Seems his poor dog has lacerations on her face, paw, and body. He stopped by to make sure our dogs had their shots. We told him that he should get her checked out in case she needed stitches and that we'd pay their vet bills. I also asked him to keep us updated on her healing progress. I was seething at my dogs when he left. I couldn't even look at them. So, we now need to wait and see if the German Shepherd is fully okay.
Then....Big stops by and informs me there is a dead robin on my front patio furniture. Seems it flew into our big new window and died. Well, I am superstitious and I know that a dead bird on your porch means bad luck. As much as I want to think that is silly is as much as I am feeling the bad luck. I ended up being in a such a poor mood and plain tired that I skipped my reunion. My house smells like dust and paint and I am having a hard time breathing. And, just found out my stroller has a recall notice from the CPSC. Nice.
I am being short with my kids and that makes me feel like a horrible mother.
Seriously, I need to snap out of it.
5 comments:
That sucks. You must have been so scared the kids were going to somehow get bit. You've got a lot going on right now. I get why your in a funk. Hopefully some time with friends this afternoon will put a smile on your face for a little while. See you in a few hours.
Take a deep breath (preferably not while standing in your construction zone)...and keep a prayer in your heart until peace returns and clarity comes to your mind. You'll know how to make it through this time...you always do.
About the bird...just donate $5 to your locate humane society or something...that should do it! :L)
Good lord, can anything else fit on your plate right now? Its pretty full! hang in there.... think positive and good thoughts and all that shit. I know this frantic time will pass and until it does I'll be thinkin of you!
you're not a horrible mother even if you're short with your kids. :)
I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. I hope things start looking up, and you can get a chance to relax and de-stress for a bit. I'll be thinking about you!
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