Last night was rough. The baby was up every hour to eat and then up from 3:30a - 6a eating, spitting up, pooping and then just awake. It was so trying. This morning at 7:30a, after the millioneth time feeding him, I cried and cried. I felt so worn down emotionally and physically. I have barely slept in three weeks and my last two months of pregnancy were nights full of insomnia, so I feel like I haven't slept in months. I took a picture of myself to see what I looked like and was shocked to see the dark circles that are actually green and yellow - like I have been punched in the eyes. I'll have to be sure to wear concealer when I go out. ha!
Anyhow, I decided that this time is short and I need to just get through it and enjoy every moment I can of my kids at their ages now. I mean, like the old cliche, they grow so darn fast. I looked at P in her bed the other day and was so sad. She looked like a little girl instead of a baby. I have a hard time letting go of things, good-byes and am terribly nostaligic. Having kids makes all of those things ten times worse - how on earth am I going to deal with this? I hate that P is growing up and soon my little E will be running around like she is. Those thoughts were part of my tears this morning.
I think I am a little blue right now. This too shall pass and things will be on the upswing again. Maybe I'll get some yummy chocolate for V-day from hubby...chocolate always makes things better...and a good glass of red wine, and I have a few bottles waiting for a chance when I can imbibe. Watch out!!!!!!!!!!
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