Sad Times.

We have been in RI for a week visiting family, and what feels like waiting for Sheilah to die. I know that sounds so morbid, but it kind of feels that way. Shane wanted to stay for a while to be sure his mother is situated. When we extended the tickets we were told by the nurse that she had six months, and then we brought Hospice in and were told the truth. This passed Tuesday the nurse told us…and Sheilah…that she had about two weeks unless her heart gave out on her. Her heart is working as hard at rest as mine would be working if I was running in 30 degree weather. It is incredibly sad, but at the same time it is almost a relief because I know she won’t be in pain any longer. These last few months have been dreadful for Sheilah. Even when she was feeling okay she could barely go to lunch with her friends because walking out to the car was a chore. This is for a woman who was always on the go. The Sheilah I know is a woman who has to constantly be doing something, whether it be crocheting or shopping she was busy.

I haven't been able to sit with Sheilah for the passed two days because my lungs hurt so badly from the cats. I went down for about two hours the other day and the next day I felt like I had bricks on my chest. It was weird, I could breathe okay but I was in a lot of pain. I think since pregnancy my allergy has changed a bit - and I can't say if it is better or worse just different. I feel guilty complaining about my small ailments when my mil is on death’s door. Of course she worries about me even in her current condition…she is amazing.

She still has her wits. She cracks me up…always has. Peter Barrett, a distant family member and funeral director (I think), came over and talked to Sheilah. She said, “let’s get down to it. I want to see prices and caskets.” Hahaha. My dad was a little taken aback when I told him that. I was laughing, but he wasn’t.

I am really looking forward to going home. I miss my dogs a ton and my house...and familiar surroundings. I am more of a homebody than I ever thought I was. I think I am just mature enough to admit it now. :)

On a lighter note, everyone is smitten with Miss P. Her Aunt Nicole wants me to leave her. haha. Can't blame her, my darling daughter is a doll baby. She is cutting her teeth. I can actually feel them in her mouth! She is a whole 9 months old as of Feb. 1 and growing like a weed. She has taken to screaming to get what she wants, which I am trying to break her of because it is barely tolerable. But, I think it is all in the growing stages of her babyhood so I can't complain about it. She loves books and will hopefully be a good reader like her mommy. We shall see.