So, I think I have it figured out. I have been having this intense fear of something happening to my darling P. Literally scared off my rocker that someone will come in my house and snatch her from me. Or that we'll be shopping and I'll turn for a second to read a label and man in a long coat will come and take her right out of the cart. It has been overwhelming. So overwhelming that I called hubby at work yesterday and was in such tears I couldn't even breath. I think part of it is it because of the hormones working in my body as the baby grows, but I think mainly it is because conciously and subconciously I know my relationship with P is going to change in just a few short weeks. I am looking forward to the new baby but am not looking forward to having to give up some of my time with P. We are so close and understand each other so well.
It breaks my heart to know I will have to give up some of P and I's precious time together, that it won't just be her and I on a daily basis and that she could possibly hurt from having to share me. I know this new baby is such a blessing and I will love it dearly, but it is also hard to think of it being 3 instead of 2, rocking another baby to sleep, bathing another baby, talking to another baby, feeding another baby...all of those things other than P.
I am positive P will love having a sibling. She loves babies and people. I know she'll just adore having the chance to play with another child and loving it. She'll be a terrific sister. Will I be just as great of a mother to the new little one, will I still be focused and loving towards P? Yes, but my heart just hurts thinking of sharing P and also of having to rob her of her fun little classes we've been going to all winter. What am I going to do when I have to go back to work and drop the kids off at a daycare? Jeez...I will be a total basketcase.
It breaks my heart to know I will have to give up some of P and I's precious time together, that it won't just be her and I on a daily basis and that she could possibly hurt from having to share me. I know this new baby is such a blessing and I will love it dearly, but it is also hard to think of it being 3 instead of 2, rocking another baby to sleep, bathing another baby, talking to another baby, feeding another baby...all of those things other than P.
I am positive P will love having a sibling. She loves babies and people. I know she'll just adore having the chance to play with another child and loving it. She'll be a terrific sister. Will I be just as great of a mother to the new little one, will I still be focused and loving towards P? Yes, but my heart just hurts thinking of sharing P and also of having to rob her of her fun little classes we've been going to all winter. What am I going to do when I have to go back to work and drop the kids off at a daycare? Jeez...I will be a total basketcase.
3 comments:
You are not robbing her of anything. On the contrary you are enhancing and enriching her life! A new baby multiplies the love in your house not divides love! A wise women once told me... Wait until the baby is here, you will not realize life with them.
Oops, ment to say without the new baby.
the whole process of going from 1 to 2 was painful for me, i understand what you are saying and experienced exactly what you are. The first few months after N was born were challenging with my emotions and i didn't feel the same way about N as i did W. But now it's totally different. Will adjusted over a period of months and normalcy for him is to have N around. When he got bit and we were on our way to the Hosp. we left N with relatives and he was so upset and kept saying "where's Gora, where's gora!!" We always have to reassure him when she's not around. Of course when he's around her he does have to show her whose boss and sit on her or knock her down, etc. But they are playing together more these days and it's like i can breathe and enjoy them so much more. I'm excited that they have each other as i prepare for #3. You're in my thoughts when i pray. lya woman!
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