Pretty crazy.

Never in my life has anything changed me like having my daughter. Not only the responsibility, but the sheer love and adoration I feel for her. And, with that adoration and love comes an intense need to make sure she is okay at all times.

The passed two days have been pretty nerve-wracking. Thursday Miss P threw a hellatious fit for two straight hours over I have no idea what. She was just bound and determined to cry and make me miserable right along with her. I couldn't do ONE thing to get her to calm down. I did have peace of mind, though. I knew she was fed, had a clean diaper, didn't have on a scratchy outfit and was warm/cool enough. At least I did my job as a provider...and then it was my job as mommy to console her. That was the hard part because I didn't know what was making her sad, and it was making me sad to see her so sad. I just cuddled her and took her outside to see the trees and birds. Finally she gave me a break and settled down. Then she was as pleasant as punch.

Friday wasn't as foggy as far as not knowing what was going on with her, it was pretty cut and dry. I knew exactly what upset her, and man did it upset me!

I took her with me to Jazzercise because they have babsitting. I looked in during the middle of my workout and noticed she was crying with a full on red face, splotches and everything. My heard just sunk. I went in to get her thinking she was just tired and was ready to go. I put her in her carrier and then I noticed what was probably causing her to cry. Her finger was gashed and all swollen. I thought it was broken.

The babysitter felt bad, but she said that the kids has been poking at her. I am thinking WHY are toddlers poking at a four month old infant? Infants can't defend themselves, that is what caregivers are for! I was so upset. More because I felt like I put her in harms way, but then I was angry because the sitters weren't keeping an eye on her. OR, this seems logical, leaving her in her carrier away from the other kids!

Anyhow, I took her to the pediatrician because her finger was bugging her and was swollen. He said that she looked as if she was bitten, but it was fine and not broken. I was so happy to hear that, but still in tears because my little girl got hurt.

My husband said I should call the owner of the facility. I need to because that is the responsible thing to do, and hopefully will keep the sitters more aware of what is going on the room. I mean, God forbid someone's kid gets really injured by another child and the mother goes ballistic. Luckily I'm cool, a little dramatic sometimes...but pretty cool.