Wise words

Over the passed few weeks I have been given good advice, suggestions and pointers. Some of it made me cry, some made me laugh, and some enlightened me. I have been searching for things to help me with parenting P: how to discipline, understanding her age, what type of play is good for her at her age, age appropriate behavoir, activities that seem fun but may be too old, etc. etc. There are some fantastic books out there, and I bought one I really like called "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." It is really funny and I am enjoy the read, but it is taking me forever to read it because once the babes go down for nappy nu-nus or nigh nighs I don't have time or don't feel like reading. I should probably cut out posting, but I love having this online diary...and, I love taking this well-needed time for JUST me. And, eat chocolate in peace.

Anyhow, here are a few things I have learned that may be the same things eating at you....or not. Take a gander:

-Remember that you have never been a mommy of a toddler or a baby, so cut yourself some slack. But, also remember that your child has never been a baby or a toddler, either, so be sure to cut them slack, too.

-Sometimes MOMMY is the one who needs a time-out. Mommies should never really yell at their children...even though sometimes we can't help it. When you feel yourself getting angry and ready to burst, calmly say to toddler "you know what? Mommy needs a time-out. I'll be back when I am not angry (substitute whatever you are feeling here)." Take yourself into the bathroom, shut the door and repeat "I am so angry, but she's only 2. I am so angry, but she is only 2" until you are calm and can deal with your child again. By the time you get back she has already moved onto something else...hopefully, or she'll need to be the one in time-out.

-When referring to bad things the toddler is doing always say that you don't like the ACTION, never say you don't like them. Such as: "I really don't like it when you yell and roll on the ground. It makes me mad and frustrated when you yell (not mad and frustrated at YOU.) and then roll on the ground."

-Put words simply. Example: it is not "Do you want a graham cracker?" It is "Want cookie?"

-If a child is expressing frustration (crying or screaming for something), repeat their words with sympathy so they know you understand them. Don't just say "it's okay." Example: child screams because they want out of their carseat and you are driving. Simply saying "we are almost home" makes them feel ignored. The child cares that they want out of their carseat, not that you are almost home. Say "oh honey, you want down, you want down now. Mommy can't get you down, she's driving." And say it sympathetically, not as if you want her to just be quiet and listen to music in the backseat until you reach your destination...even though that is probably what you're feeling after they have been screaming "WANT DOWN" for the passed 5 minutes.

-A pack-n-play is a good thing to use for time-outs (thanks to Beth). You don't have to worry about a safe place to put them because they'll be in a netted prison (ha!) and you won't have to train them to sit on a specific chair. And, importantly for me, you won't have to say the dreaded "go to your room." I really don't want to put P or E in their rooms for punishment unless it absolutely has to be done that way. I remember hating my room because it was a place for punishment rather than comfort - I don't want my kids to feel the same way. I also got to the point where I was scared of my room...not sure if an over-active imagination had something to do with it, though.

-The re-introduction to "1-2-3 Magic" from memory and then Susan told me her pediatrician recommended it. My sis-in-law Denise used it and it really worked! I started it a bit with P and it seems to be going well.

-Pick a few things that are rules of the house, but don't be overwhelming. Around three is good...and, you'll realize just how good of a parent you are! For me, eating her 3 squares at home happens at the table (and can be at the picnic table if I am asked before the food comes out to the table), no hitting baby brother or the dogs, and we are working on #3. Right now it is that she has to treat her books with respect and not rip the pages. She has destroyed around 5 of her books and I don't like that.

-Brushing her teeth and baths are not negotiable.

-And, last but not least, here are some words from George Carlin just because he has always made me laugh...just ask me what PF means....

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.