Happy Easter!

Miss P and Baby E had a very nice Easter. Friday we went to the zoo for their Eggs and Paws Easter celebration. P had a great time looking at the fish with daddy. Saturday we went to the school behind the house for their Easter Egg Hunt. P wasn't so sure about collecting eggs with the kids - some of those kids were CRAZEEEEE. She just hung out with mommy and daddy and one of the volunteers made sure she got a couple of eggs. We went inside and did a few crafts and ate doughnuts. That night went to our friends' house to color eggs. It was a great time and P got to play with her friends Mila, Amaya and Myka. It was so cute to see the girls play together. We got home way passed P's bedtime and put her to sleep in her clothes. Unfortunately, hubby didn't change her diaper and she had pee everywhere Sunday morning. So, P got an Easter bath before getting to the good stuff. We plan to take the kids to see Gammy and Papa for Easter dinner.

She loved looking for her little eggs. We got plastic eggs and filled them with stickers. I didn't her a bunch of candy because I figure we have years ahead for that...plus, I don't really know what she can eat without choking. I got her a chocolate bunny and cookie from Whole Foods. I also got her a toy and bunny ears. She is just still so young - but even being that young she LOVED her visit from the Easter bunny. The first thing she did was dive into the chocolate bunny and eat its ears and head. I was a little concerned...uhmmm...controlling mommy....about her eating candy before breakfast, BUT it was Easter and I need to loosen up. :)
Baby E just hung out and let his sissy search for eggs and have fun looking at the baskets. E got a new sleeper, Baby Legs and a hat. His Baby Legs are not just for girls - hubby was worried about that. E's legs have skulls and crossbones on them. I mean really...no polkadots!

Cindy Loo Who?

Ethan Update

Ethan was sick last week - nothing horrible, but none-the-less sick. As a newborn I had to take him into he pediatrician. I am glad I did for peace of mind. Well,I thought it was over and then he woke up Monday with blood in his stool. I called the doctor again and had to bring him in. They tested his poo and found that there was indeed blood throughout. This time you couldn't really see that there was blood in there, and he had diarreah. I had NO idea what baby diarreah looked like in breastfed babies because it is always some form of runny. Well, now I do know what it looks like and I feel terrible because Ethan has had diarreah pretty much since he was born.

Turns out the baby may have milk protein intolerance. I had to keep him and me off of all dairy products for 4 days. He was/is supposed to clear up in about 4 days. Hopefully, he does today because today is day 4. I take him in for his 2 month check-up and immunizations on Monday; I will also take in a stool sample in this nice little bottle they gave me. It comes supplied with a little scooper and all! I never thought I would be so poop-focused in my life, but it seems every few hours that I change a poopy diaper I am examining it as if I am looking for gold.

On a lighter note, Ethan smiles all the time. When I am concentrating the most or getting frustrated with Peyton is when it seems he beems at me. I catch a glimpse of him and have to do a double take. That is when he and I make eye contact and he just smiles and coos. It has to be the sweetest thing ever. I just love it! And, I am the only one he does it for right now and that gives me all sorts of warm fuzzies. He also grounds me when I see him smile at me - it gives me a moment to just look in his eyes and realize that he and Peyton are the most important things in my life right now. What on earth would I do without them?

I also had "that" moment with Ethan. When Peyton was a baby I remember looking at her and I felt as if I was looking into a mirror. It was an incredible moment that made me feel so connected to my child. It was wonderful. Well, yesterday I had it with Ethan. I hope I always feel connected with my kids. When Ethan was born I felt I lost that connection with P and it was so troubling to me. I cried constantly for that "lost" relationship. Well, it was a short time period and now we are back to what we were before. She just understands mommy has to share some of her time with baby brother. It is all good.

Let it snow!

The best part of the snow was that we got to play in it! I pulled Miss P around in this tiny sled hubby picked up. She kept wanting me to chase the dogs. Needless to say, I got a workout. We built a snowman and I kept picking her up out of the snow. The snow was rather deep and she kept getting stuck. haha! We tried snow angels, but that was a little advanced for her, so mommy just laid in the snow like a pile of goo and built the snowman.

I haven't built a snowman in ages and kind of forgot how to get the perfect snowball going. I basically just kept piling snow onto a ball I created and rolled it. I guess you are supposed to just keep rolling the ball in fresh snow, not in the stuff you already packed down. We stuck a stick in the head to make it a reindeer. The snowman fell over that night.

Whoa SNOW!

I thought it was supposed to be spring?! Is the old saying that March comes in like a lion and leaves like a lamb? I hope it is true and that we are going to have better weather soon and that it will continue. Even though I have been homebound with the newborn, now that I finally feel comfortable going out I CAN'T! at least not today...:)

We have received probably 12 inches of snow so far and it isn't quitting. There is this huge mass of snow just hanging from our roof. I have no idea how it is staying there. It looks like our house has an eyebrow.

Hubby was out shoveling the driveway last night and he had P helping him with a little garden shovel. It was far too cute. She was in her big pink marshmallow snowsuit with the furry trimmed hood and her pink boots, and her little shovel. She was scooping up the snow and throwing it like daddy was with his big shovel. Hubby could have used that little shovel because his efforts were squashed with the downpour we got overnight. The neighbors were using their snowblower and doing everyone's driveways on the street today - there is noway a person could shovel alone - it would take all day. What nice people! And, we barely talk to them! The funny thing is we are half their age. I was sitting on couch nursing E and watching them, and hubby was sitting in the chair covered in a blanket watching TV. What a pair! At least the young neighbors next door moved their car for them. We just sat and watched and said we will need to do something nice for them. Talk about lazy. haha!

Life changes

It is amazing how life changes when you have one child much less two children. Your relationships change with your family members and your friends. I have found I have grown apart from my single/child-free friends and closer to my family members who have children. I also have made a lot of friends through my mommies group and child centered activities. It is really fun and I have to say, some of the friends I am making now are amazing people and I am so fortunate to have met them. On the flip side of the coin is how disappointed I am in some other people in my life. It is amazing how some people don't seem like they really care what is going on in my life. They don't check in to see how Ethan or Peyton are or how Shane and I are doing. It is kind of sad. I guess my expectations were far too high.

Anyhow, now that I got that off my chest. My little man had gained yet another pound in a week. He is 11 pounds 14 ounces today. I laughed when I saw the number. He is just a little growing boy! Officially half of Peyton's weight at 6 weeks old. Peyton is almost 2! hahaha!

Peyton is quite the talker. She seems older than 22 months because she can talk so much and knows so much. She can point out her name, she knows a lot of letters in the alphabet, most of her colors, makes up her own little songs and dances like a crazy woman. I can't believe how much she has grown! She has also shown that she may be developmentally ready for potty training. She has been doing the things that prove she is ready - but, I am not ready!! I really do need to buy a potty chair for her. I think I am just going to get the seat that fits on the toilet instead of a chair. We'll see how that goes first. I have a feeling she'll like that better than using her own chair, but who knows! I bought a book about little girls going to the potty and she loves pressing the button that makes the toilet flushing sound. It is hysterical - she dances to it like it is music.

Ethan Smiled!

Ethan smiled at me on Monday (Shane's birthday and I get the smile...aawwwwee..) Well, I thought it was just a fluke or gas, but today he has been mister smiley-pants!

He is 5 and 1/2 weeks old.

He especially smiles at his big sister...

Pumping

I started pumping breastmilk this passed week after waiting for almost 5 weeks post-delivery. I have been trying to pump at least once a day for four days now. This is a different approach than I took with P because Baby E is such a different nurser. With Peyton I had to pump after every feeding the day she was born, and once more to help boost my milk supply because she didn't latch on and was a tiny baby. She was born on her due date and still only weighed in at 5 pounds 15 ounces. When we left the hospital she was down to 5 pounds even. It was important, as guided by my pediatrician who I adore, to supplement her feedings to get her weight up. We combined EBM with the Similac we were giving her to be sure she got the good mommy milk nutrients. It worked and we had to only supplement for about 6 weeks. I kind of wish I would have continued everyday with a bottle because at 3 months old she wouldn't take a bottle and became a breast-only baby.

Now, breast-only babies are very convenient...but only as long as you don't have to leave them. They will fight tooth and nail to not take a bottle, or they will hold out until mommy comes home. Eventually, though, they will take a bottle. But, why put your baby and your babysitter through that mess? P's first 13 months were spent only with mommy with small exceptions. I had a few one to two hour excursions, but that was it. Needless to say, by the time she weaned herself I pretty much didn't know what to do with myself. I mean, I had a TON of extra time, and I could even go see a movie if I wanted! But, by that point I was so close to her I didn't want to leave her.

Since E was born it is a different story. I want to be sure he takes a bottle consistently so I can free myself up a bit. I will need to have some times when I can use a bottle so that I can tend to P. For instance, I was at a playgroup on Friday and had to nurse E. P also needed my attention, and because she can run off I HAD to be there for her...and I wasn't. I had E on the boob and she was crying for snacks and starting to have a meltdown. I was totally frenzied because I had the newborn needing fed and P needing my attention and crying. Of course in public, too. It was a good experience for me because I need to learn to deal with those situations and be in control. I think part of feeling out of control is lack of sleep on my part.

Anyhow, I am giving E a bottle everyday. It was nice today. I left E with hubby so I could run a few errands. When I got home hubby was giving him a bottle and the baby was just fine. I got some one on one with my darling P and hubby got some one on one with Baby E. To me, it worked out perfectly.

Right now E only takes 2 - 4 ounces per bottle. That means I really need to boost up my supply because I am only pumping 2 ounces once a day and am barely getting ahead.

I can't believe I am at this point - with P I felt like a bottle was the devil. I was such a BF nazi. But, with the second one I realize that flexibility is more important than nursing your child straight from the boob everytime. It is more important your child gets fed. And, on that note, I am very lucky I can breastfeed. Hopefully E will go the 13 months P did - and longer if I have my way.

Playtime!

I ventured out of the house today and went to a toddler playtime with the kids. My mommies group was there and it was SO nice to see everyone and their little ones. I really missed seeing them. One of the boys started walking since I was gone and the girls all had longer hair. I don't want to miss as long as I did when I was "out" with Ethan. Plus, Peyton had a good time. I really wanted to get her out to have some fun. She misses her fun mommy. This tired cranky mommy is not much fun for her to be around.

It takes my darling P a while to warm up in situations like that. She just isn't the type of kid to just run and grab toys to play. She stands back, assesses the situation, and takes some time to figure out where she "fits" in. That is exactly the way her mommy is. I have been accused many times of being a b&tch or rude simply because I am uncomfortable in new situations or kind of shy. It takes me time to warm up and then I am outgoing. It is just the way I have always been. I blame some of it on my sign...Scorpio. It is kind of funny that I was in PR for so long because I felt uncomfortable much of the time.

Anyhow, I don't count anymore (haha!)...onto kid #2. I weighed Ethan at the weigh station...he is a whopping 10 pounds 14 ounces! That means he has gained 3 pounds 11 ounces since he was born (5 weeks ago). I keep saying he eats constantly...now I have the weight gain to prove it. Hopefully, he'll help me get back to my pre-prego weight a bit quicker...we'll see. Probably should stop eating Cadbury Cream Eggs, too.

Angry...much?

Ethan cracks me up. He gets very upset if someone else besides his mommy holds him. Here are the phases...I should have taken him back at phase two. haha!

Phase one - he is a little unsure of what has happened. I handed him over to daddy...he thinks: "hmm, does this mean I am not near my foodsource? I'll try to remain calm."

Phase two - he is really unsure and is now about to cry. "You've got to be kidding me. Handing me to a man with no meat on his bones AND NO BOOBS!"

Phase three - yeah, he's mad. "Okay, I am really pi$$ed...and hungry."

Phase four - yeah, he's really mad now. "Daggonit - I am mad, really mad and I am going to cry until I get what I want when I want. Stupid man with no boobs." "Oh, whoops. Shouldn't talk about my daddy that way...he pays the bills."

It has already started

Last night I bathed both the babes since hubby was stuck at work. It took me a while to figure out how I was going to bath the newborn and my toddler at the same time. I ended up just doing it like an assembly line. I got the baths ready, undressed each baby and then put them in their separate cleaning tanks. P was easy because she didn't need to be washed down - I just let her play in the bubbles with her toys. E on the other hand needed to be thoroughly washed clean of the spit up and pee he had gotten all over himself througout the day.

As I washed E down I noticed P had all of this grime all over her face. I thought, "how in the world can a child get dirty in the tub?!" Well, I deduced it to one of her bath squirties having old water that molded in there.....disgusting. So, I tossed all those toys. yuck. Now she wasn't the easy bath I intended - I HAD to bathe her and wash her hair. Ugh. So, E just layed in his towel screaming on the bath carpet. It was so fun...not.

Then after the bath P started screaming because she was cold and I couldn't get her dressed fast enough. I had to dress the newborn first, obviously, and I couldn't just leave her in the warm tub water...unless I wanted child services beating down my door. Eventually the screaming twins were quieted down. I was able to get P's hair brushed and her teeth brushed. She wanted bows in her hair because her PJ's had a bow on them...too cute. After I was finished I put P on the bed with E and went to get some of the water sopped up from the bathroom floor. When I came back in the bedroom...literally seconds later, P was brushing E's "teeth." It was hysterical. I am so glad I had the camera sitting right there. Now, you know I am a second time mom when I let my toddler "brush" my newborn's teeth and grab the camera instead of stopping her. hahaha!

Sleeping

Even though I am not sleeping, Miss P has reached a milestone with her bedtime habits...well, I think MOM has reached a milestone with Miss P's bedtime habits. Hubby kept telling me he could put her right down and she may cry for 5 minutes and then fall fast asleep. That was never the case for me. I had to rock her completely to sleep or she would cry forever! I had set up a routine that I was having a hard time letting go of, and just putting her down to sleep was not in the routine. But, with the new baby I had to make some changes, and her bedtime routine was one of them.

For starters, I was being way too time generous. I would read her at least 8 books, rock her to music for at least half an hour and then gently lay her down. If she cried I would go in and get her. Slowly I stopped going in to get her and let her cry to fall asleep. Then I cut the books down to three, but I couldn't let go of the "rock down to sleep." Frankly, that part was getting on my nerves. P would play, mess around, want water, cry to read more...anything to not fall asleep. And, I was enabling that behavoir by not enforcing a "last song" or "one more minute of rock time," etc. It was really hard for me to not give in...I just wanted her to be happy, but obviously what I was doing wasn't making either of us happy.

So, last night I tried just putting her down after 2 books and 3 songs and it worked! Not only did it work, but I felt really good about it and so did P. I put her in the crib, tucked her blanket around her and put her little reindeer next her. She actually got to hear my last "I love you" for the day. She just snuggled in under her blanky and did not make a peep. Lately she has been uncomfortable on my lap, anyhow. She has gotten big and can't just lay her head on my shoulder without her legs all cramped up. I think she welcomed being put down sooner rather than waiting until I let her fall asleep. Plus, I realized that I am not doing her any favors by rocking her to sleep all the time. She wasn't learning to fall asleep on her own...and at almost 2 years old she needs to be able to fall asleep on her own. It is hard letting my child "not need" me.

Child for hire

For Hire:

One small child to clean house.

She does floors, windows and appliances. Anywhere there is dirt. No bathrooms as the toilets and tubs pose a lost toy or drowning risk to child.

Rate: will work for cookies (now, ain't that bargain?!)

Choreplay

I just received this in an email from a good friend of mine:

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/living/stories/2008/02/12/choreplay0212.html?imw=Y

It is about how your husband doing chores is more rewarding for Valentine's Day rather than a box of chocolate or flowers. This was my response to her:

"you know what is so funny about this? it is true, I think. last night I left the house a mess because I was so tired. this morning I woke up and it was all cleaned. i can't even tell you how much that meant to me - much better than chocolate that will go straight to my ass...of course, now I am dying for a piece of chocolate..and my house is a mess again. hahah!"

Chuck E. Cheese

P had her first visit to Chuck E. Cheese last night for her cousie Mindy's birthday. Hubby took her. All day we talked about how she was going to a birthday party, eat pizza and cake, play games and get to see her Auntie Carol, Candyce and Carlye and Mindy. She was really excited...until she got there. Hubby said she was really shy and seem overwhelmed. I am not surprised. She is still seems a bit young for a place like that, but she did have fun.

I could tell exactly how she was feeling when hubby showed me a picture they took together. I saw it in her eyes and her expression - completely overwhelmed. I have seen that look before and really wish I was there to help her ease into the situation, but she was just fine. My little Miss Independent. Hubby said she kept playing with a broken game. It was a car racing game and the screen was stuck but she really liked turning the wheel and acting like she was driving. He said it was really cute. The games for kids her age are like the bouncy characters that rock back and forth and some balls. Hubby said the atmosphere was stimulus enough. Kids running around screaming, lights and game noises going off everywhere, etc., etc. Not really my kind of place, but I will suck it up to take P again. I know when she gets a little older she'll be able to interact more with other kids and play the games...but, I can certainly wait. I can only tolerate a place like that for a short amount of time....I suppose seeing me child enjoy herslf would make it fun.

On an Ethan note - he lost his belly cord yesterday. I remember that P lost is on Mother's Day and it was a great gift. That little thing stressed me out knowing I could accidentally pull it out or something. Ethan lost it close to V-day - guess I will remember that little event always. haha! I am syked to give him a bath in a tub. It will be cute to see what he does.

He cracks me up. He goes from 0 - 100 in seconds as far as getting upset. There is no a "little" upset - it is either "I am wet and change me RIGHT NOW" or "I am hungry, give me boobie RIGHT NOW" or "I am cold - put a blanket on me RIGHT NOW!" And, that folks, is why I love him. It will be interesting to see if that little temperament is solely survival mode or if it is truly a part of his personality.

Today is better

Last night was rough. The baby was up every hour to eat and then up from 3:30a - 6a eating, spitting up, pooping and then just awake. It was so trying. This morning at 7:30a, after the millioneth time feeding him, I cried and cried. I felt so worn down emotionally and physically. I have barely slept in three weeks and my last two months of pregnancy were nights full of insomnia, so I feel like I haven't slept in months. I took a picture of myself to see what I looked like and was shocked to see the dark circles that are actually green and yellow - like I have been punched in the eyes. I'll have to be sure to wear concealer when I go out. ha!

Anyhow, I decided that this time is short and I need to just get through it and enjoy every moment I can of my kids at their ages now. I mean, like the old cliche, they grow so darn fast. I looked at P in her bed the other day and was so sad. She looked like a little girl instead of a baby. I have a hard time letting go of things, good-byes and am terribly nostaligic. Having kids makes all of those things ten times worse - how on earth am I going to deal with this? I hate that P is growing up and soon my little E will be running around like she is. Those thoughts were part of my tears this morning.

I think I am a little blue right now. This too shall pass and things will be on the upswing again. Maybe I'll get some yummy chocolate for V-day from hubby...chocolate always makes things better...and a good glass of red wine, and I have a few bottles waiting for a chance when I can imbibe. Watch out!!!!!!!!!!

TV = Friend

As much as I loath TV, I love it. Seriously. I am lucky to have a child that can be entertained by it at her mere 21 months of age. I need to keep her busy when I tend to the newborn without her wrecking the house, and the PBS programs and Noggin do just that. My cousin's children are about the same age apart and she feels the same way I do. She doesn't like that she has her son in front of the tube, but at the same time it helps out...a TON. She reminded me that it won't hurt their IQ to watch a lot of TV for a few weeks. That made me feel better because I was feeling terribly guilty turning on Clifford and It's a Big World.

I am really thinking about it today because I really need a break. Time to myself to just be quiet and clean the house a bit. She has been watching PBS for a couple of hours now (well, coming and going - as much as her attention span can handle). I am having a hard time even coloring with her today. I am just so tired. I promised myself it was just for the morning. When she wakes from her nap I will be more energetic...hopefully. It will all depend on if I get a chance for a few winks.

I think the weather plays a huge part, too. I can't just go out to the park because it is so darn cold. I really am over winter; but, am happy that since I have to be holed up in the house with a newborn it is also a time when everyone kind of hibernates.

Woohoo!

My darling P actually asked to eat broccoli! She kept shoving it in her mouth and asking for more and more of it. I can't express how awesome this is - quite a triumphant day in the land of baby. I have been trying for months to hide veges or put cheese on them or cut them up into cute little matchsticks, eat them in front of her....anything to get her to eat her veges. I gave up and just fed her extra fruit or mixed baby sweet potatoes with applesauce so she'd get something in her.

Oh the things that make me happy nowadays.

A little update on Ethan - he had his two week appointment on Tuesday. I took him in at 10 days since hubby was still home with me at that point. He gained 12 ounces, weighing in at 7 pounds 12 ounces and grew 3/4 of an inch making him 21 and 3/4 inches long. It is kind of crazy that he grew that much - especially when I compare him to Peyton. She grew long and lean at a pretty average rate.

I am not surprised that Ethan grew that much when I think of how much he eats. My boobs don't really get a break. It is totally different breastfeeding him compared to Peyton. She was really hard to get latched on in the beginning and we had a TON of problems, but I ended up bfeeding her for 13 months. Now, he latched like a champ, I have plenty of milk for him and am hoping he will bfeed for as long as she did, or longer. P weaned herself, and I have heard of many boy babies weaning themselves when they start eating solid foods. I hope that doesn't happen...we'll see! I can't worry about those things...needless.

Besides the fact

that I have barely slept in 7 days, everything is going really well. P is taking well to her baby brother...just take a look at this picture (you may need to click on it to make it bigger):

Seriously, though, P is doing very well with her brother. She has only hit him about 10 times with her hand, once with her sippy and once with her bowl - oh, and once with her teddy bear and once with her baby doll. Other that she just loves on him and pets him like the dogs.

He pretty much nurses all night long and then I just have him sleep beside me. He seems to sleep better if he is in bed with me right now. I don't want it to be a pattern but for now it is fine because it allows me to get 20 minutes here and there through the night. Looking at his face makes me want to do anything for him...regardless of the fact that he is my son. yeah, right!

Baby Boy

Okay...so I am laughing at my last post. I was complaining about not being induced on Wednesday and low and behold at 2pm I started having contractions that day. I knew I was feeling kind of weird and very short-tempered. P and I went to the grocery store and I felt very annoyed being there and like my vision was impaired. It was strange. So, I raced through the store to get home and hang out. Poor P got the shaft of short-tempered behavoir.

Well, I ended up calling Shane to get home because I just wasn't sure what was happening. I knew that if they got close I would have to go to the hospital quickly. I was scared that I would go into immediate labor and wouldn't have someone to watch P. I really didn't want her to see me in pain in the hospital. Luckily, it didn't happen that way.

My mom came over around 6p and I asked her to stay the night just in case. We got Mexican and as we ate and talked I felt like I probably should go to the hospital. Not that I was having contractions super close together or for a long time, but they were close enough and getting more and more painful.

Another "luckily" we went to the hospital before full-on labor is because hubby took three wrong turns. The funny thing about that was that not just a week prior he went and scouted it out because he couldn't remember from P's birth. I was nervous but we had time so it was fine. We got to triage and they checked me...only 3 and 1/2 centimeters. Similar to P, but since I wasn't in full-on labor I was afraid they were going to send me home. They decided to keep me since P came so quickly, but I had to walk for an hour to see if I would dilate more. I did, but only to like 4 and 1/2. During this time they told me I was Strep B positive and had to put be put on a penicillan IV drip for 4 hours and then they would break my waters. So, that was another "luckily" because I didn't know I was Strep B positive. At my doc's office they said my test was fine so I didn't even think about it. It made me a little angry because I didn't really understand what it meant...just that I needed the antibiotics for the baby.

I was taken to the room where they put my IV in and then told me to walk again for another 45 minutes. At this point it was 10pm. So, hubby and I walked and that is when we came to the conclusion for the baby's name. We also got to talk like we hadn't been able to in a while with having a 1 and 1/2 year old running around and be being pregnant and hormonal. ha! When we got back to the room I was having full-on painful contractions, but only to about 5 centimeters. I decided to get the epidural at that point since it was only going to get worse and who knew how long this one was going to take!

At 2am my midwife broke the baby's waters. They sat me in a different position in the bed, which was so comfortable I didn't really want to go through labor. Believe it or not, that new hospital bed they were trying out and the epidural made me feel better than I had in months so I was really enjoying being painfree for a while. At around 3:15am or so my midwife checked my dilation and told me I was ready to push. They got all set up and Ethan Matthew was born at 3:39am. Three pushes and that little babe was out. Hubby was really choked up and almost cried. It was so sweet.

Immediately they handed Ethan to me and took care of the nethers, which required no work from me. Wow - he was an angel to behold. He was so darn cute and had a full head of almost black hair. I knew Ethan was the perfect name for him at that point. And, he latched on like a champ and has been breastfeeding like he always knew how to. I am so thankful for that because it took P and I three months to get it down. It was so hard and I almost gave up, but then I ended up nursing P for over 13 months, which I hope I can do with Ethan.

Now to get him to change his clock. He is up ALL night long. I am so exhausted it is almost painful and will hopefully only last like this for a few more weeks. He just wants to eat ALL the time - seriously at night he bf's every 20 minutes. But, like hubby says, fast foward another 6 months and all of this will be worked out. I don't mind it except when I am nodding off and he is crying and has pooped and peed everywhere. Other than that he is terrific. He is truly my little treasure. To think of how perfect P is and how perfect he is brings me to tears. I am so blessed.

Why?

Why didn't I just go in this morning? Why?

I have been having sporadic contractions since 2pm and am in a foul mood. My poor P...luckily hubby came home and is entertaining her. I have just been doing laundry and walking up and down the steps.

I don't even feel like eating...well, except for a hot fudge sundae and I don't really need that addition to my thighs at this point. The thing is, I can't tell what is a contraction and what is him moving. They both feel equally as painful and that makes it extremely hard to keep any kind of time watch.

Hopefully he'll show up today/night...

Today is the day?

Today is my due date. I don't feel any different than I did yesterday or a month ago. I just feel big and fat, uncomfortable, tired and hungry. Who knows, though, what could transpire today.

I scheduled to be induced tomorrow and canceled the appointment. I just can't do it. I have nothing wrong with me physically and the baby doesn't at this point, either. My due date could just be a few days off and I'd like to give the baby that time to "figure it out." I am on the schedule at the hospital for Jan. 31 which gives me a bit over a week to see if he decides to come on his own.

Now - everything I heard about a second baby being early is completely shot out of the water. Also, walking and going up and down stairs seems to be quite a wive's tale at this point in time. We'll see about heartburn and dark hair and also if the labor and delivery is faster with a subsequent child.

I hope I am not posting tomorrow....:)

Induce

So, tomorrow is my due date and it couldn't be sooner. I haven't been sleeping for weeks, and I know that it will be the same when the baby comes but it won't be same kind of exhaustion. Hubby keeps talking about how tired we are going to be and I keep telling him, "Yeah, but it isn't the same exhaustion as when you are pregnant." Making a baby is really hard work even thought it is very natural. No wonder people used to not let pregnant women do anything in their final months - they needed the rest more than they needed the pampering! haha!

Anyhow, last night I was up until 5:30am. I can't take this anymore. I was embarressed because our friend Big came to help hubby move the new furniture into the baby's nursery. He asked Shane if I had been sleeping....I looked that bad. I was in Target the day before getting some blush (and I don't know when I'll get back to Aveda - not feeling mall-like at that moment) and thought my mascara had run. I licked my finger to remove the make-up and realized I was removing concealer and that my eyes were just that dark underneath. My dark circles looked like black eyes. I just can't take it anymore. Not just that I am tired, I am in pain. It is very painful to sleep at night and I think that keeps me up. Last night I came down and watched way too much Grizzly Man on Animal Planet, but I fell asleep. I think I'll just stay on the couch until I deliver. The support for my back and the way it supports my big belly is much better than the bed. I feel like such a complainer...jeez, I could be one of those women who is bed-ridden their last weeks or even months of pregnancy. A fellow classmate was on bedrest for EIGHT weeks. She was only allowed up to pee like 5 times a day and that was IT. She had to take her blood pressure throughout the day and call into her doctor's office. I have no right to complain about feeling tired or in pain when I hear stories like that.

If I don't go into labor by tomorrow night I am trying to get in to be induced on Wednesday...and I will probably chicken out and just wait until I absolutely would have to get induced. :) I got some advice from my friend's husband who is almost finished with his gynie residency. He gave me some excellent information that helps me feel MUCH better about the choice. But, I have to stop reading about it online...as hubby reminds me, information online can be bogus even if the site looks reputable. You have to be careful...and I get sucked into research and reading too much when I get obsessed about something.

Getting close...

I am so close to my due date right now. I can't believe how fast it has gone! Even though I am quite ready to have the baby I am also scared. I mean this time I am scared of labor and of bringing home the baby. When I had P I was excited but not ever really scared.

I guess I am coming to the realization that I am going to be really busy for the next couple of months with a newborn and P. I am really behind in my schoolwork and each day I plan to do I take a nap instead. I am exhausted! I am going to have to push through it today and this weekend to get a few more assignments finished up. I just have to suck it up.

The doctor's appt. went well this moring. I am officially 3 centimeters dilated, which is what I was when I got to the hospital with major contractions with P. P and I went to the rec center so I could walk and she could play in the playroom to move things along. And, whoever says to walk to help labor come on is crazy. I have been walking and riding the bike for months and these last few weeks I amped it up a bit and NOTHING.

Hopefully hubby will pick up some of the slack and take P places to play while I am home with the sweet boy. I want to be sure she doesn't get the shaft...that makes me nervous. I really don't want her to feel left out or ignored in any way. I mean afterall, she was here first.

39 weeks

I was really hoping to have this baby this week, but I just don't think it is going to happen. I am officially almost 10 months pregnant and boy do I feel like it! I really am getting big and uncomfortable at this point - not like it is terrible, but the symptoms are rather trying on the nerves. I feel really big, bloated, exhausted all the time, find it hard to get around, find it hard to wear anything but sweatpants, my emotions are completely whacked, I have a very short span of patience for my daughter and the dogs. Just sooooo different than it was with P.

I am trying to be pleasant, and I am especially trying to give lots of love and attention to P and the dogs when I am feeling loving. I HATE when I get out of patience with them. Today was a case in point. I went to pick up P from the gym's playroom and she didn't want to come with me. I know that kids go through that, but it really hurt my feelings. She just loves Mary and the women that work there so much. I wish I had the energy to workout for more than hour so she could play for a while, but right now that is not an option. And, it isn't just the fact that I run out of energy it is that I run out of patience! Again with the patience. Some of those people walk so slow or so fast and don't use the track properly. Usually this doesn't bother me, but lately if someone doesn''t pass on the right or runs in the inside lane I get so annoyed. I am ridiculous. :)

Anyhow - here is a pic of me. I have the calendar in the background - let's hope this child is born THIS month. haha!

Dear Baby Boy

My darling son-to-be,

I know that you are taking your time enjoying your warm watery surroundings and listening to the sounds of your sister and the dogs, but don't you think it is time you come out and actually see them? I mean, I know you like the food I feed you and are beefing up, but really you don't have to get TOO big...a smaller baby makes labor easier on mommy. I guess at this point it doesn't matter since I am almost full term. Wishful thinking never hurt anyone, though.

I am being pretty selfish at this point. Mainly because I weigh the same amount as an average man and have circles so dark under my eyes that Grammies thought I had gotten a black eye. It is hard to get around and especially hard to get up after sitting on the floor playing with Peyton. You keep teasing me with painful movements and Braxton Hicks. Daddy even put the luggage in the car and has his outfit picked out that he will throw on if he is in his PJ's when you decide to come.

We are all very excited to meet you and hold you in our arms. Daddy and I are still deciding on a name and right now we just call you baby brother. P calls you baby brozer and gives you a kiss every night. I bet she is already planning how she is going to dress you up and make you call her things like "Queen Peyton" or she'll make you sit there while she plays teacher. All kidding aside, you both will have so much fun playing together. Hopefully she won't hit you too much when you are born...we'll see. She likes to hit the dogs with her toys; she thinks it is funny.

Okay, so doesn't that all sound like fun? And don't you think it is time to greet the world? I think you are too busy sleeping at this point to listen to me, but hey, it's worth a shot.

Love, mama

Clothes

My cousin Candyce rocks! She has been setting P up with clothes since she was born. She has two girls of her own and they are 4 and almost 3, so I get all the hand-me-downs. She is really a lifesaver. I save so much money by borrowing these clothes it is unbelievable. I guess being destined to have a boy and have to buy clothes for him isn't so bad...but, I do have friends I could borrow from in a pinch for him, too.



Last night she, Mitch and the girls came over and dropped off winter and summer clothes in 18 mos - 2T, which is exactly what P is wearing. She also had a big bag of shoes in various sizes that will probably fit P through until fall. The only things I will need to buy her are socks, tights, a swimsuit, diaper, wipes, and those other various toddler items. Yeah!


On another note.... Yesterday after spending the night with Grammy and Papa, Peyton would not nap. She missed me and her daddy and did NOT want to sleep. It was my mom's birthday and we had dinner plans - I really wanted her to get a couple of hours in so she was pleasant during dinner. Well, I couldn't get her down and she fell asleep in the car on the way to the restaraunt. Hubby sat with her for a while and then brought her in...not a good idea. She was a mess pretty much all through dinner and then didn't want to leave. She threw an ever-loving fit when I tried to put her coat on - it was really embarressing. Kind of like the whole place went quiet and all you could her was her high pitched screaming. Hubby said he had never seen her like that before - it was quite eye-opening. Well, welcome to my world. She is starting to really exude her independence and knows she has a mind of her own at this point. She is quite challenging sometimes. I know that her actions yesterday were just because she was over tired.

Parenting Magazine

The February Issue is officially out and at Borders bookstore if anyone is interested. I know many of my mommy friends get them in the mail. Anyhow, some of my friends have asked what I said or where it is in the magazine.

Here is the scoop:

February 2008 issue
Pg. 29
"How we make errands more fun"

I just commented that I leaf through magazines at the checkout line and point at the pictures I think P would be interested in seeing. She likes to look at animals, other babies and people doing things like swimming or running.

I had sent in a comment on this subject last spring (I think) and in September or October one of the editors or journalists called me to follow-up. It was pretty easy. She just verified my name and location. I sent a number of other ideas, but I tried to keep the email short and sweet because being in MR for so many years I know how many emails news people get! I guess I'll share more often now that I know my ideas actually get read every once in a while. I tend to share my ideas and opinions freely...for those of you who know me. :)

P has first sleepover

P had her first sleepover at Grammie and Papa's house. I was worried about her, but I knew they would take good care of her. I called as soon as I got up this morning to check on her and she was just fine. I heard her in the background talking and eating her breakfast. It was funny to listen to my mom and dad try to figure out what she was saying. She is expanding her vocabulary and many of the new words are not easy to comprehend, but once you get them you are like "oh, yeah, duh - that IS what she is saying!"

Today is my mom's birthday. I think she kind of wants P with her for the day. They are enjoying her company and I am fine with it. I actually can take this time to get stuff done that is hard to do when I have her. I am picking and choosing my errands and chores for the day - all the ones get done that I can't do with her. At least at this point it is harder and harder to get around and even doing things by myself takes more time than usual. Kind of funny, actually!

Hubby and I went to the movies last night to celebrate our "freedom" for a night. We saw "Charlie Wilson's War." Great movie. I would recommend it. I got to eat movie popcorn - something I truly love, and drink soda. They didn't have juju bees....:(

I am really hoping to go into labor today...can I just share that? They asked if I wanted to be induced next week and I said no. They asked if I wanted to strip the membranes and I said no. Today I kind of wish I had said yes to one of those things...even though I really don't. Just feeling quite pregnant at the moment.

My hubby

My hubby is such a cool guy. Today he had a lunch meeting with his vendors to check out a hosting company downtown. I guess this facility hosts his company's server so he needed to be sure they were qualified and I think the company itself wanted to impress him with their new space. Anyhow, he comes home to give me a box of chocolates from one our city's gourmet chocolatiers. How did he know I was combing the house for chocolate after the baby went down for a nap? :) I guess being almost 39 weeks pregnant gives it all away....?

So, I have been talking with a cousin on hubby's side about family stuff. I am a little shocked but not surprised at some of the things she shared. How can three brothers be so different? I kind of understand why hubby never went home after college and doesn't really want to go back except on occasion. And for me that is totally fine. Now, I really miss some of his family members and have become pretty close to a couple of his cousins, but as long as we keep in touch it is all good. It makes me feel kind of bad not wanting to deal with some of the drama, but I have a family of my own and am very close to my brother and his family and my mom and dad, cousins, aunts, etc. Plus, I know my family will always be honest with me - honesty is HUGE in my book. We have such a great foundation of friends and family here - I really don't want to give that up to move where I would feel uncomfortable.

So, my friend emails me today and told me she saw my quote in Parenting Magazine! I thought that was so cool! I didn't really tell anyone I was called by the journalist to comment on something I had written a while back - I am a little modest that way. So modest that I am currently posting this on my blog. Shameless. :)

Surprise!

I belong to a mommies group that meets up every Wednesday in the afternoon. We have been meeting for about a year now and have all become friends. It is really great. I just love the girls and their little ones. All the children are around Peyton's age with some smaller ones in the mix. It is a nice mix with boys and girls so the kids learn how to play with both genders and learn how to begin friendships and lasting bonds (hopefully!). It is so nice to have a group of women who I feel connected to on all different levels and have tons to talk about and share. We get to have "adult" time and the kids get to play. As soon as all the pregos are finished I am going to start bringing wine to each event. haha!

Well, yesterday those darlings threw me a surprise baby shower! Beth (blog link: http://jasonbethandfamily.blogspot.com/) hosted and all the girls and the babes where there. She had an awesome spread and they had flowers and gifts for me and the soon-to-be baby Marks. I was so suprised. It was such a special gift and I will never forget it.

Beth had emailed that she had a surprise to share with all of us. I was totally thinking that Jason got a job in Seattle and they were moving. I didn't want to hear that, so I was hoping it was something else, and it was. I even asked hubby if he had heard anything from Jason about it and he said no. Now I am just laughing, and relieved that my friend isn't moving at this point in time!

Funny thing....on another note. I woke up early this morning feeling anxious and nervous. I just needed to get out of bed. I took a shower and decided to come down and check my email and post for the day. I get two emails. One I was expecting from another friend of mine on a question I had about second labors and the other was a surprise. My friend from Australia wrote that I was on her mind and she was worried about me. She was hoping everything was okay. I find it really interesting because I think what she must be feeling is the false labor pains I have been having all week. All week long I have been in a fair amount of pain with these false alarms. The contractions have been very painful, but definitely false because they are all lower abdomen. Anyhow, I am pretty sure she has been picking up on that. Pretty cool...especially having a connection like that across the ocean!

Unassisted Birth

I can't keep my comments to myself on this one: unassisted births. First of all, WTF? I mean, seriously, I know women have been having babies since time began, and in many countries that is the way it still is, but in America we have people who have worked hard to educate themselves on how to not only deliver a child but make sure the baby is okay once it is born. GMA had a segment on about unassisted births. They interviewed this woman who said that she felt her home was a much safter environment than the hospital for delivering her baby. Now, I know some hospitals can have bad reps - so go to a hospital that has a great rep and check it out! Make sure you see how sterile they are, how attentive the nurses are and how many babies are born there every day/week or year. Do your homework.

I am hopeful she did her homework on how to deliver her child at home. She had a birthing tub set up. Now, this rubber or plastic tub sitting in her bedroom looked kind of scary. I certainly hope there wasn't a puncture hole or something that would have caused it to deflate during labor, or God forbid contain some sort of contaminate that could harm a newborn. (As many of you know, the chemicals they use in furniture or carpeting to keep it stain resistant can be deadly for some children and also the flame retardent chemicals they put on childrens' clothing - so you need to be very careful with that type of thin much less delivering a child into a plastic pool). Then to top it off, she was unassisted - meaning just her and her husband. No midwife, no doula, no NP, no doc on call.....

Are these women truly facing the fact that they could potentially cause the death of their child? Are they willing to accept their child's fate if there are complications?

And, what does the law say about this? I mean, if they are trying to make abortion illegal how can they say it is okay to have an unassisted birth? It makes NO sense to me.

My friend shared this with me - she and I agree on the subject, so I wanted to post her response:

That is completely insane, I mean seriously. People think it is this natural spiritual thing. I think that God gave us the intelligence to become doctors and discover cures, and to keep our babies safe during child birth! He is probably up there saying, dumbass what are you doing???

There is a joke that says that goes something like this. There was a man that was hanging on a cliff and he was praying to God, "God please come down and save me!" A goat herder came and said here grab my hand, I will help you, and the man said, I am not afraid, God will save me. Then a helicopter came and dropped a ladder to rescue him and he said, I am not afraid God will save me, and then a boat came under him and said we will help you and he said the same thing, and he eventually let go and dropped to his death. When he got to heaven he said God where were you? and God said, I sent a goat herder, a helicopter AND a boat, what more do you want???

Tires can be so much fun....not.

Yesterday I went to my cousin's to drop off some baby stuff she let us borrow. We ended up buying a bigger car seat and my friend sent us this awesome new swing for the baby, so we didn't need to horde those two things from Candyce any longer. She has a prego friend who could probably use them in the next couple of months.

Anyhow, I am driving back home thinking of all the things I wanted to get done that afternoon. P and I had been to the gym so I was feeling a little like labor was coming on from riding the bike and walking; luckily, it wasn't. A nice guy stopped me at a light to tell me my back right tire was flat. I was so thankful he told me because I could tell the car wasn't riding well. So, I stop at a gas station to fill the tire up and it wouldn't hold the air. Being 9 and 1/2 months pregnant and having a 1 and 1/2 year old in the back seat kind of made me not think clearly. I should have just changed or had the tire changed right there, but NO I decided (like the truly intelligent person I am) to drive to try to get to a tire store to get it fixed. Well, that was like 10 minutes of driving on a flat tire...not exactly safe. :) But, we made it. Good Year had time to fix it and the tire in stock - we were so lucky!

Well, the whole time I am sitting there I thought for sure I was going into labor. Those guys were so nice getting me in right away and the last thing I wanted to do is spring a pregnant moment on them. hahaha! The thought is really amusing to me.

Arrival of Baby Boy

I am feeling ready for this baby to pop out. I have gotten many things taken care of, for instance the library books are all returned, my car is cleaned out (just have to install the new car seat we bought), the co-sleeper is swept and has clean sheets, I am washing the swaddling blankets and some of P's newborn sleepers. I have some things already washed and ready for him, but I wanted to have a plethora to choose from when he gets here. You never know if it will be 65 degrees on the day he is born or 25 around here lately.

I still need to: return a book to Waldens, get P some things together to play with at the hospital, go grocery shopping, get the house swept and dusted, finish the laundry, get his new car seat installed with the snuggly, and get the bottles and pacis boiled. Hopefully, he won't take to a paci but it is okay if he does. P never did so I never had to worry about taking it away from her. And, hopefully I won't have to use any bottles until I am ready to give him one. My friend waited 3 weeks to start pumping and I think I'll do the same. I pumped from the very beginning with P and I believe that is what messed up my ability to pump. My LC told me to pump after every feeding for 5 minutes to get my milk supply up. Well, I did that and at first I got a good amount of milk but then I couldn't pump at all. P ended up not even needing pumped milk because she stopped taking a bottle all together at 3 months anyhow. I don't want that to happen this time around. I really want to be able to offer a bottle when I need to.

My friend had so much milk it was crazy. She had a boy and it seemed like she bfed him constantly. I wonder if the gender will make a big difference this time around - I am sure it will. All babies are so different...even from the same mama.

I just can't wait to have this baby at this point. I don't mean to be selfish, but I am really uncomfortable and have gained so much weight it is getting to be taxing to carry it all around. I am so bloated and in one week I gained 3 pounds! I am not even eating terribly or huge amounts - simply because I can't at this point in time. I feel so filled with water and excess fluids it is gross. Plus, I can't wait to meet him and give him a proper name...instead of just "baby boy" or "baby brother."

No More Monkeys!

I guess only P's mama would understand what she is saying, but it is darn cute...

No Mercy!

Hubby just taught P to say "No Mercy" and shake her fist. It is hilarious. When she plays with her toys and does something she shouts "No Mercy" when prompted. At first I thought it was obnoxious, but actually it is quite funny. He also taught her (a while back) to wiggle her fingers like she is doing magic and say "nummy, nummy, nummy" when you tell her to turn someone into a cupcake. Essentially, I am a small baked product with lots of icing a 1,000 times over. I have to get it on video at some point.

She also cracks me up playing with her new kitchen. Her dish of choice is duck soup. She puts her plastic toy ducks in a pot and then comes up to me with a spoon. I act like I am eating it and tell her what a good cook she is. She just laughs and then feeds "soup" to all of her stuffed animals. We have been coloring a lot and reading, and I have been letting her watch too much TV. She loves PBS kids in the morning and then Sesame Street. So, I choose one or the other depending on how I am feeling that day. I am just so tired most of the time, but only two weeks left then I suspect the baby will keep us both busy.

I am so ready to pop. I have gotten really swollen with this one, too. I don't remember feeling this way with P. I am so big and lethargic. It takes so much time and energy to do anything. For instance, I took the dogs to the groomers today. It was a small olympic feat just to get P and the dogs out of the car and into the groomers. I almost slipped and it scared the crap out of me. Pregos aren't supposed to fall this late in pregnancy or they have to go to the hospital. That is all I need right now. I know having the baby around will make it even a bit more challenging to get out, but at least I won't have a bit more protection for him if I do fall. We just bought the Graco Safe Seat for him and that thing is a beast. I love it. He will be able to fit in it for a long time, and it is super padded so I am hoping he will be more comfortable than P was in her seat. I still feel bad putting her in that hard seat.

Happy New Year 2008

Instead of writing down my resolutions I am going to write my reflections of 2008. I was driving the other day and just thinking back on all of the wonderful things that happened and then all the sad things that happened. That is life - we have to take the good with the bad. And, if we didn't have the bad how would we know how good we really have it? Anyhow, let me begin...

The first of the year looked kind of grim as far as hubby's mom was concerned. We spent most of January in Florida, Boston and Rhode Island with her hoping that her health would turn around, but unfortunately she passed on Feb. 6. She had battled ovarian cancer for 6 years, which is amazing after being diagnosed at stage 3. We miss her terribly and have had a hard holiday season without her. Hubby has been pretty depressed all year. I can't even imagine.

Through all of that I had P keeping me busy. It is amazing how children change your life. I couldn't imagine my life without that little girl. She is the center of my universe and the the love of my life. To think I created something so perfect and beautiful is beyond me. Hubby and I question how we did it everyday. We are both so smitten with her. During 2007 she began talking, coloring with purpose, learning tons of new things, walking, feeding herself, running, playing complex games (like hide and seek), knowing some of the alphabet and singing...among many other things. Stuff we take for granted knowing as adults is quite amazing when you see a child learning them for the first time and being excited by them. It is really cool to watch and know that I have helped.

We celebrated her 1st birthday in May. It was a great time and I was pretty excited that so many people showed up to celebrate with us.

In May we also found out we were expecting baby #2. This time around it is a boy. I am due on Jan. 22 and couldn't be more ready at this point in time. I was very sick all summer and felt that it passed without me getting to really enjoy it and take advantage of more things with and for P.

Hubby's brother and his family visited in late July. That was a nice time and the kids loved playing with P. It was cute to see them get excited to hear her tell them what noises each animal made. Unfortunately, shortly after they returned by to RI we got some shocking news about his brother and some of the things he had been up to. Things that I don't care to write about because it is kind of embarressing and not really my business. But, I can write that the family suffered because of his actions. He is seeking help, so that is a good thing and we are all hoping he steps up for his family - meaning his wife and kids, which is where he is needed. Hubby has been a very understanding and forgiving brother and is really trying to understand and get passed his brother's behavoir. We shall see what this year brings.

My dad has been doing well with his heart problems. The doctor says his heart won't get better and that he will have to continue eating well and taking his medication. He seems okay with it, but he struggles with knowing his pacemaker could go off at anytime. It scares him. Sometimes I hate that he does so much. He just cannot sit still. Mom is doing well. She is caught up in her crafts and looking forward to retiring. Her knees still bug her but she won't talk to the doctor about it. I think she likes having something to complain about.

Hubby is okay. He has been depressed and sick a lot in 2007. I think most of it stems from the emotional stress of losing his mom, dealing with his brother and gearing up for another baby. He is our soul provider and I think that wears on him, too. Hopefully things will get better in 2008. I have a lot of anxiety about his health and his life choices. He doesn't eat really well and he never exercises, but is thin so it looks like he is the picture of health. It worries me.

My schoolwork is going well. I almost have my 4. back for my masters classes. I recieved ONE A- and that totally screwed it up. I am back to a 3.96. I am really hoping my next class will bump it up even more. I am taking two independent study classes right now that I need to get finished up by May. I really anticipated getting more done over the summer and fall, but as sick as I was I napped with the baby napped. I have to just force myself to stay up at night and work on it.

This year there are so many great things to look forward to. The baby is due in just 2 weeks, one of my best friends is getting married and we are planning a couple of trips with JUST US. No family. Hopefully a trip to the beach or someplace that will make it easy to trot the kids around. I am looking forward to planning our trip to Europe in the next few years. I want to be sure both kids are walking, potty-trained and eat well at the table before going. haha! We'll see.

Happy New Year! Have MORE FUN!!

Christmas Prego Pics

Christmas 2005 I was pregnant with P, my first child. At the time I was about 5 and 1/2 months pregnant, maybe a little more...
Christmas 2007 I was (am) pregnant with my second child. I am almost at 9 months. This time around it is a boy. Now I will have one of each and am finished with the prego thing!


(That is my lovely hubby on the right, not my 3rd child)

Too cute for Christmas

P was so cute at Christmas. It all started when we put up the tree. She was enamored with putting ornaments on the tree and then taking them off the tree - over and over again. Then she had to take the ornaments she liked to bed with her. Of course, we could only let that happen a few times because ornaments aren't the sturdiest things...hence, keep out of reach of children tags, which we ignored. She kept saying "hang on tee, hang on tee" and would point to the tree. She also thought her stuffed animals looked good on the tree, so we essentially has a P's toy tree going on for a while.

We have been collecting plush ornaments so that she can play with them and we don't have to worry about them breaking. The last thing I would want is my child getting a piece of that thin glass from a Christmas bulb stuck in her eye. yuck. This year I found some adorable soft ornaments at a few craft shows and World Market. It'll be nice to see them next year for I will surely forget what I purchased by then and am so used to seeing the same ornaments year after year that it'll be a nice surprise to open the Christmas storage bins.

She also learned quickly about presents. She wasn't that interested on her first birthday back in May, but now she LOVED getting a new present to open. I think the present we just got from her friends Amaya and Myka was the cutest to watch her open. I got the excitement on her face in the picture below. Way too cute. Our friends sent us a video of A-n-M opening their presents from us and I wanted to be sure to take pics of P opening their presents to send to them because I thought it was so cute seeing their little reactions to what we got them. Of course, prego brain of mine put the tags on the wrongs presents so the older girl was opening a "baby" gift and the baby openend the game "Cooties." hahah! Oh well....I had to mix something up because I had been doing so darn good.

I just remember when P was baking I sent my nephew's birthday card and gift to my friend and a congratulations on your baby to my little nephew. They were both pretty confused and I laughed like I meant to do it.....

I had P sign her thank you notes to everyone who gave her presents. By "sign" I mean her scribbles that represent her name...again, too cute.

Anyhow - just look at P's little expression in this picture - it makes my heart just melt.

Butt and thigh blowout

I have searched all over the place to read about anyone having the same experience I am in their ninth month of pregnancy, but I can't find a thing! I am almost 37 weeks and literally, my butt and thighs have blown up overnight. Could it be because Christmas was just here and I ate more than I thought or is it merely the whole pregnancy thing?

I truly know I overate for a few days over Christmas, just like anyone I indulged in sweets and had more than 2 helpings of things that tasted good, but c'mon, not enough to make my pants THIS tight! I went to the doctor three days ago and only gained 4 and 1/2 pounds in a month, so I thought I was doing pretty good. I have gained a total of 28 pounds so far, but it really feels like 50 at this point in time. I am hoping to do the 30/35 pound thing (which is more than what I gained with P, but I read that women who are expecting boys tend to eat more while pregnant and nursing than do those women who have girls....go figure).

It was quite shocking to look at myself this morning and see a swollen, double-chinned hippo staring back at me. I seriously look bigger today than I did yesterday! I am so ashamed. I went shopping for the boy so he had some things to wear when he is born and literally was embarressed to be in public. I have had people, literally two weeks ago, ask if I was pregnant. NO - I just have a big belly, boobs and always look this swollen, tired and irritable...thanks for asking. Am I not only with child but crazy, too? I think I look pretty pregnant when I look at pictures of me!

All I want for Christmas is an ear infection...

All in all, we had a very nice Christmas. On Saturday we went to my parents to celebrate the holiday. My brother and his family were in town so that was our time to exchange with them. They drove down from Michigan for a couple of days to spend with us and then my sis-in-law's family. Watching the gifts change as the kids grow is quite interesting. My niece who was once into baby dolls or games was now into make-up and cool clothes, the boys are still into games just "older" ones, and the baby girls were just too cute opening their books, babies and blocks. We usually do random appetizers and finger foods for our Christmas Eve with them. We try to have things that my Grandma Williams used to make, but have strayed from that menu quite a bit. I was surprised that P ate this cheese dip mom made, but she shoveled it in like it was ice cream. At least she ate more than pretzles and cookies like she did at Thanksgiving.

The actual day of Christmas Eve my parents came over here for a sit down dinner. It was very nice. We ate and then watched a movie. Christmas Day it was adorable watching P open her prezies. She loved her play kitchen and her Sesame Street car wash. She got things from hubby's aunts, Papa Bill and her Uncle Garret and Aunt Jeanne. It was so nice that so many people were so giving this year, but it was still pretty depressing to not have any gifts under the tree from Sheilah. I know hubby was feeling pretty sad knowing he couldn't call his mom to wish her a Merry Christmas. Bill called from Florida and that was really really special to Shane. Later in the day some of our friends came over for a potluck and games. It was a really good time and was so nice to spend Christmas that way. Typically, we go to my Aunt's, but I am trying to stay away from "cat" houses until I deliver. I have been getting dreadfully sick with my cat allergies during this pregnancy - and frankly am tired of not being able to breath for days for just an hour or two of fun.

On the down side, hubby and P have been really sick. P since the weekend and hubby since Christmas night. All he has done is lay in bed. I had to take P to the pediatrician and I am glad I did because she has an ear infection...hopefully not the beginning of three like last year. Well, since we are stuck inside once the boy is born she will probably stay pretty healthy, but we shall see! I am just hoping to bypass all bugs - I can't afford to be sick with a one and half year old running around and being pregnant.

Dad and I

My dad and I have had issues in our past and our present. He can be difficult to get along with at times and he thinks I am difficult, so we butt heads or I just get mad and don't say anything. Well, we had a really long conversation about a ton of things - me, hubby, my brother and his family and my mom. It was nice to see where we were both coming from and giving each other the space to understand each other.

He said something enlightening to me that I generally am very aware of, or at least try to be. But, it is understanding what others are going through and their feelings. We get so caught up in our daily lives and getting upset at how someone else is driving or how someone didn't call us back or how someone didn't hold the door when our hands were obviously full. We have become a very self-centered society and expect others to help us out or don't expect others to help us out. The thing is, we are all here living together, sharing this earth, this neighborhood, this house or this road. Why can 't we all take a little extra time when we are out and about to do something nice for someone. Let them over in your lane even if they have to turn in front of you, hold the door for someone - or smile for crying out loud! These are all trivial things that we all deal with (pretty much) on a daily basis. There are more deep-rooted issues and feelings going on within my family, and much of it is left unsaid and people harbor bad feelings. I was doing that for a while and decided I couldn't take it anymore, and that is why I had to have "a" talk with my dad.

I have to say it was great to air everything out - very scary at the same time because we didn't want to hurt each others feelings with our honesty. But, honesty is the best. And now I feel like I have even more of an understanding with my dad and can give him more flexibility to be himself and he can give me the same respect. I only hope others can do it, too, but that is not for me to make happen. People need to face their problems themselves and in their own time.

Well - on that note....I am going to call my dad and yell at him about something. haha!

Music Class

As I have mentioned before, it is amazing how quickly children grow from babies to toddlers; from knowing just to survive to knowing how to play and enjoy certain games and toys; and to be picky eaters! My latest shout out to amazement is music class.

We travel the same way to music class as we do to the library. Well, we were meeting our mommies group at the library and P lit up and kept saying "moosic cass? moosic cass?" Now how did that little thing gather we were going to music class? I never said anything except that we were meeting her friends and she was going to get to play and look at books. The only thing I can think of is that she recognized where I was driving and assumed we were going to see Mrs. Andrea at moosic cass. She wasn't disappointed, though, she loves all of her friends...especially when she just gets to play and look at books at her discretion.

P has also started grabbing her toys that play music or her instruments and coming up to me saying "pay moosic!" She plays her little instruments and sings. I have to get it on video. It is so darn cute. I have a regular Tori Amos in the house.

Car Seat

I want to get a new infant car seat for the baby boy because the one we used for P wasn't that cushiony. I think the fact that it was so hard was why she cried so much whenever we went anywhere. I am talking every place we went she cried in the car. The reason I am pretty sure it was the car seat is because when I got a new one she literally stopped crying the first time she sat in it. Granted, it is top of the line Britax so it is probably like a recliner in a car, but I don't care. I wanted her to have good experiences rather than being uncomfortable all the time. It makes me feel so bad that I had her in that hard seat for so long - I just didn't know any better.

So, hubby and I are looking at car seats. Well, we both kind of freaked when I suggested this option - a duo stroller travel system. OMG! is right. We have to get a duo stroller...I mean we will have a toddler and a baby! It would really be a smart decision - and almost a necessary decision.

I have looked at used systems, but I just don't know what the history is behind them and would rather borrow someone's or just buy new. I figure if I get the Graco duo system I can use the click-n-go in my single stroller as well. That way I am set if I go somewhere with just the boy or with both kids.

It is crazy to think we are going to have two kids in a little over a month. I was having false pains last night and we decided that we need to get the bag packed and get ready for baby. We have had several friends tell us they went early with the second, but then there are a ton who went on time with the second...never late, though.

Playing mommy?

Darling P was playing with a little shopping cart we have for the kitchen. She was pushing it around putting puzzle pieces in it, her little stuffed animals and blocks or whatever was small enough to fit. Hubby was watching her so I was just laughing at the glimpses I was catching of her playing.

Well, I was cracking up so hard when I looked out of the corner of my eye, and low and behold there was P on her fake cell phone having a conversation while shopping for various "items." I wasn't quick enough to get a photo...bummer!! Hubby asked if that is what I do when I am at the store and I just said that I guessed so. haha! It is amazing what they pick up...for instance...

P was transporting some toys from the kitchen to the living room and dropped them. She proceeded to say what hubby said sounded like "Oh SH$T." Well...the only person who could be guilty of that would be me. I am the one with the sewar mouth in the family, but I have to admit that I have gotten SO much better with having a child around me 24/7.

Update on dog incident

My friend's little boy who got bit by the dog is doing just fine. His final stitch fell out two days ago and his face looks like it will have minimal scarring. While she was at my house I kept my two dogs locked up downstairs. Little W didn't seem afraid of them at all. My friend explained that the incident doesn't stop him from being friendly with dogs, but definitely stops her from trusting anyone's dog. Can you blame her?

Seeing his little bruises and marks where the stitches were just broke my heart. But, seeing that he was okay made me feel okay for him.

The dog was a one-year-old Westie. From what I gather, Little W leaned back and the dog was behind him. The movement of W leaning back freaked the dog out and it just bit him in the face and clawed him a couple of times and then ran off. Luckily, noone had to pry the dog off of him. I have heard of dogs attacking children and just not stopping until the child goes limp. awful to think of....

The best thing I think I can do as a parent is keep educating my kid about dogs everytime she is around them. It is kind of hard when you have dogs of your own that your child wants to love on. I work on P being respectful to her dogs and knowing her limits with them. I really don't even trust my two dogs. You just never know, and no matter how much you love the little furballs they are still animals.

Figured it out

So, I think I have it figured out. I have been having this intense fear of something happening to my darling P. Literally scared off my rocker that someone will come in my house and snatch her from me. Or that we'll be shopping and I'll turn for a second to read a label and man in a long coat will come and take her right out of the cart. It has been overwhelming. So overwhelming that I called hubby at work yesterday and was in such tears I couldn't even breath. I think part of it is it because of the hormones working in my body as the baby grows, but I think mainly it is because conciously and subconciously I know my relationship with P is going to change in just a few short weeks. I am looking forward to the new baby but am not looking forward to having to give up some of my time with P. We are so close and understand each other so well.

It breaks my heart to know I will have to give up some of P and I's precious time together, that it won't just be her and I on a daily basis and that she could possibly hurt from having to share me. I know this new baby is such a blessing and I will love it dearly, but it is also hard to think of it being 3 instead of 2, rocking another baby to sleep, bathing another baby, talking to another baby, feeding another baby...all of those things other than P.

I am positive P will love having a sibling. She loves babies and people. I know she'll just adore having the chance to play with another child and loving it. She'll be a terrific sister. Will I be just as great of a mother to the new little one, will I still be focused and loving towards P? Yes, but my heart just hurts thinking of sharing P and also of having to rob her of her fun little classes we've been going to all winter. What am I going to do when I have to go back to work and drop the kids off at a daycare? Jeez...I will be a total basketcase.

Santa Claus

My Granpda and my uncle are both Shriners and we were invited to go to the Shriner Christmas Party for kids. Santa was there and they had food, gifts and music for the kids. Those Shriners really love kids...and they try to make things really special for them. The party was totally free for family members of Shriners.

My cousins were there and my aunt and uncle. There was also a special surprise - an old friend of mine's family. I got to see her mom, grandma and brother and his family. It was so nice to see them after so many years. Come to find out, too, my friend's dad was one of the Santas! So, we got to go to the side where he was and I thought if P saw that I had a special "connection" with Santa that she would be a little less apprehensive about seeing Santa. Oh no! Hubby and I BOTH had to sit on Santa's lap and she still cried her little eyes out. She was scared to death of Santa. I wish I had a full on shot of her crying, but we just got a side shot. Santa's helper took the picture so I am just grateful we got what we got. ha!

Well, I get home and look through the pictures I took and realized I was auditioning for Playboy Santa or something. Here I am big prego woman sticking my chest out. Why on earth would I do that! Now I forever have a picture of me with my boob in Santa's beard. lovely. And, it is my friend's dad...even more lovely. Gotta just laugh....

Let it snow!

Snow poured on us all morning and into the early afternoon. I think we accumulated about 4 or 5 inches all together. It was really pretty and I couldn't wait to take P out to play in it. Hubby reminded me to be careful because if I fall while I am pregnant I have to go in to the hospital to get checked out. Luckily, the baby is due Jan. 22 and after that I can fall all over the place if I want to. haha!

I dressed P in a warm fleece and realized I had no boots for her. I took a pair of her Baby Legs and pulled them down over her higher top tennis shoes to keep the snow from getting in her shoes. Her snowsuit protected her pretty well, though. It is funny how they make mittens for babies. They have no thumbs and this makes it hard for them to pick up any snow, which I guess is a good thing, but she wanted to pick up other things and was a getting a little frustrated. However, her little mitten fell off and she promptly got my attention to put it back on. She realized she did not want to be cold. It was such a cute moment. Against my hubby's wishes I shoveled the driveway. P was playing in the snow and kept pointing to the house and saying "in there." I think she wanted to go inside to get warm and dry, but she remained patient with me as I finished up getting the snow cleaned up. Guess she wasn't too much of a fan of being cold and wet. Can you blame her? But, she had a great time - it was adorable to see her play, fall in the snow and try to get up.