Weird

There are times in my life when I get strong feelings of death, happiness (like good luck) or pregnancy. Recently, I was feeling the feeling of sickness, but not death. My grandpa ended up really sick with shingles. I guess shingles is really hard on older people, and it is on my grandpa for sure. He has a spot on his head and in his eye. His eye is totally swollen shut and he has to put drops in it 10 times a day. My aunts and mom have been taking turns staying with him. He is scared because he feels so horrible. He won't even nap. He lays on the couch and does what little bit of exercise he can and fights sleep. Then he is grouchy and fights with my mom and aunts all day! ha! He says that no matter what age they are, they are still his daughters and he still can't help but to treat them like little kids. They are all in their mid to late 50's, too, so they don't like to be told what to do by their aging father.

And, on a good note, I found out yesterday that one of my friends from my mommies group is pregnant and a couple of days ago found out my cousin is pregnant with twins! I am so excited for them. I thought for sure it was going to be my cousin Candyce telling me she is pregnant because I am the closest to her, but it was my friend and cousin that lives in NJ. I hope all goes well with both girls, I know they are a little scared. They have both have had a rough time the second time around, and the first time around in my cousin's case. It is kind of weird - both girls have one girl of toddler age and they both had HELLP syndrom the first time around. Crazy. Well, I will keep them in my prayers for a healthy and non-eventful pregnancy.

I have to write a shout out to my friend Susan. She has really been a support system for me over the passed few weeks. I really respect her advice - especially seeing what a great mommy she is to her little girl. One thing that is truly special is her honesty. I have never had a friend who is truly honest with me about the deep downs. It is weird, it is like she understands me even when I haven't said anything. I also adore how she snuggles with Ethan. He loves it, too. :)

Rollin' down the sand hills, Rollin' down the sand hills WEEE!

Ethan rolled over this morning! He has been trying to turn over, but I wasn't sure if it was just his way of trying to say he wanted to eat. I heard him cooing at 5am this morning. He was just laying there awake looking at the ceiling or his hands. So, against my better sleep judgement, I picked him up and brought him into bed with me. He just turned his head and smiled his little smile that has been one of the more consistent things in my life...along with P's new way of whining. Anyhow, he kept trying to turn towards me and rolled right over. I let him lay there for a bit to figure out how to turn his head. He did a good job, but I wasn't thrilled with his face buried in my bed and turned him over. He didn't try again.

He has also been pulling himself up when I hold him. I think he is trying to sit up, too! What the heck!? I spoke with my mom this morning and she said I was sitting up just a week shy of turning 5 months, so it is possible. He has been doing everything a bit earlier than P was. She was right on target for the most part, but he seems to be ahead of the curve a bit. The pediatrician even commented on that fact. I am glad the pedi told me to be aware of the various milestones coming up because I kind of forgot! I need to do my research again to see what to expect.

He talks to me all the time and he just stares at me. It is so cute. A man in the grocery store commented how Ethan just can't keep his eyes off of me. I think that is a boy thing - boys just are in love with their mommies, girls are too, but I have heard boys are a little more lovey for mommy. I don't know about that theory because P is pretty mommy-focused. Daddy has been gone for almost three days now and she has only asked about him once. She went to our friend's for a few hours last week and talked about me all day. I also stay home with her, though.

I better run - need my three day shower and to feed E before going off for playtime.

I knew it!!!!!!!!!!

Hubby and I were watching some show on HGTV a few months ago and I thought for sure I recognized one of the handymen as a guy I had a HUGE crush on in high school. Well, I happened to be looking online for some information and low and behold I came across HIM!! He has his own stinkin' show on HGTV!! He was seriously the HOTTEST guy in my highschool. I remember he played football and I would walk behind him trying to muster up some nerve to even say "hi." I couldn't do it!! He was far too good-looking to talk to little ole me was what I thought.

If I only knew our interests were going to be similar as we grew into adults, I may have said something to him...who knows, maybe we would have gone to a sock hop or something together. ha! I recognized Steve Hanneman because of his eyes - look here and you'll see what I mean: http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/shows_hheds

Here is an article written in the Columbus Dispatch: http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/life/stories/2008/01/19/1_HANNEMAN.ART_ART_01-19-08_D1_3P92E9B.html

Good gravy. Well, I have my new...old...celebrity crush!!!

I think of Walmart as a stinky poopy diaper, anyhow...

I am a child. Seriously - totally the most immature person I know sometimes and I LOVE it.

Kristine and Tammi know what I mean because their pictures have ended up in Target picture frames. Well, mom and I were at Walmart and the baby had a blow out. I changed him in the shoe aisle because P could stay busy running around trying on shoes. Then I thought it would just be hysterical to leave at diaper in a box for the next unassuming customer. Mom and I laughed so hard. She thought I took with me, but I left it. In the box. Down shoe aisle two.

Well, we got back to mom's house and she got so upset with me because she said they have cameras and she shops there often. She was afraid they may recognize her...and I laughed at that, too. One because IF something like would ever happen it would be like a Simpsons episode and two because she was seriously worried and I like to laugh at that, too.

And, here are the pics. I would make a horrible criminal because I document all of my antics.

hahahahahaa!

Pedi Visit

P and E both saw the pediatrician today. Ethan got his 4 month check-up and immunizations and P got her ears checked out again. Ethan is doing really well and growing well.

Ethan 4 months:
17 lbs 8 ounces
26 inches
HC 17 inches
90th percentile for height and weight

It cracks me up that P and E are night and day. She was only in the 50th % for height and the 10th for weight. ha! Long and lean and E is long and strong. :) We've requested that he gets only one live virus vaccination at a time and I ask everytime to be sure the shots are themerisol-free. The MMR is going to be tricky. If hubby doesn't want that given as a trio, I am going to have to go to the health department and get the shots individually and have the nurse administer them. Sounds like a big hassle...I'll have to see how strongly hubby feels about this. I spoke with the doc and he had some great information about it, but hubby has a friend whose two kids suffer from some degree of autism and his friend believes it was from immunizations and live virus immunizations. So, hubby is on his friends bandwagon. But, hubby is just looking out for our children, and for that I give him major kudos and will support him as much as I can.

I feel good about canceling our trip to Oregon. The doctor recommended we do not fly. He said P's ears still look pretty bad and that it wouldn't be good for her to deal with the pressure change and everything that goes along with plane travel. We got a doc's note for the airline - hopefully we can get a full refund.

Ethan's sleep habits are perfectly normal for a 4 month old. He said that I need to work a bit more on letting him fall asleep on his own, but how often he gets up and his short naps are no concern...they are normal. He also said that the way he sleeps at night will get better, but I have to not feed him each time he gets up. I am both happy and disappointed about this information. I was hoping to hear that I had a huge fix on my hands so I was in control of the situation. Seems it is not my situation to control, Ethan has to get there on his own (for the most part). Oh, I hate not being in control! I think that is the hardest part about having kids for me. They get sick, grow-up, eat what they like, etc. and I can only help when needed or guide when needed, but I can't make the choice of when everything happens. arrrgh. :) ha! I am reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and it has some great pointers. Much of the advice I have already been doing (from previous experience with P), but many things he suggests I had NO idea about. Such as naps - I need to be better with Ethan's tired cues and getting him to nap. Sad thing is, morning activities will have to change or I need to get him up earlier so he can nap before we go out and about. I guess the morning nap should be in the crib - not in a car seat or in a stroller. This puts a little damper on things for a while, but I suspect going to one thing a week during his naptime won't be too detrimental. We'll see.

I am feeling much better about everything. Just hearing that what I am doing is good and that my kids are fine is more than I can ask for. Now the guy the drives through my neighborhood everyday blaring his radio during my kids' naptime, well, that can stop anytime...and that just may be in my control.

I really need to loosen up. I am so high strung most of the the time and worry a ton. I need to chill out a bit - this is where my doc suggested working out at least three times a week. I haven't been diligent about any type of exercise since E was born...and really am dying to get back to something. I haven't saved for the Rec Center, and that was the biggest life saver for me. I have the cash now, so I need to go join again. I have to do it for my body and mental health. I need to get this weight off!!!!!

I was expecting this...

I am taking P to the pedi this morning. He wants to see her. I think she has yet another ear infection. She was up all night and early this morning crying. Hubby went in to get her this morning and she wouldn't calm down until I got her. I had to nurse E and felt terrible that she was crying for me and I couldn't really be attentive to her, but she was fine waiting. Ethan slept okay after 1am until 5am and then was up again. He is super congested, too, and I am really scared he is going to get an ear infection. ugh. He also has had some bad tummy problems this week - I think that is why he hasn't been sleeping well. Seems I cannot eat any chocolate, and I was eating brownies all week and chocolate chips. Poor little guy - I was basically making him sick so I could feel better. :) But, who knew! Now I know! Thankfully, he is not allergic to beer because I think I need one right now.

We decided that Shane is going to Oregon alone to his conference. Shane traveled with an ear infection once and lost some hearing in his ears. He doesn't want something like that to potentially happen to P if her ear infection is still lingering. And, with a recent double ear infection and potential ear infection now I agree with him. I think that taking the kids to Oregon with the time change and them both just being sick is not fair to them. I'd rather hang around here and make sure we are all on the mend and get back to being normal humans instead of zombie-like creatures. Oh well - it'll make our Florida trip in the fall that much sweeter.

Update:

We saw the pedi - P has a double ear infection. She also has a temperature of 104 and is basically just laying on hubby with her eyes half open. It is so sad.

Tired...forever?

I was up last night with Ethan pretty much the whole night. He is now sick, again. He has the same thing that Peyton had, and now I am getting it. Can the little guy catch a break? It seems he has been sick more than he has been healthy. And, isn't this the time when the illnesses are supposed to beginning ceasing? Not in my house, it seems everyone got sick when the weather started getting nicer. I think we caught this round at Mila's party because Mila and Kelly both got sick and the symptoms are the same. Bridgette and the kids were sick, too, but they had been on antibiotics and I doubt they spread anything.

I need sleep. Hubby took Peyton to Angie D's house for the day. I am taking advantage of every second Ethan naps to nap, too. I have a doctor's appointment this morning and I need to go grocery shopping, but that is it. I slept on the couch with Ethan last night because he would not lay down in his crib or with me in bed. He finally fell asleep in a position that worked with me being propped up by pillows. I really hope I don't have to do that again tonight.

This little baby boy is giving me a run for my money. I cannot even believe how hard I thought Peyton was until I had him. She was a piece of cake! I am really happy to have Ethan, but having two really young children is more difficult than I had imagined. But, part of that is my state of mind right now. It will get better soon.

Over it

I am just over it.

Being Creative

Hubby wants me to pick up my guitar again. I bought a Fender two years ago and have been meaning to teach myself how to play, but I just don't have it on my current list of priorties. Well, I am putting it on there. The hard part is going to find the time to sit and practice. I wish I had a friend who could give me free mini-lessons, but everyone seems to be busy or not musically-inclined or if they are musically-inclined they do not play guitar.

I want to be able to sing and play children's songs...maybe even write some of my own. That sounds like so much fun to me. My sis-in-law has sent P a couple of CDs from Gemini and they have great songs they sing to guitar and other instruments. P loves them and Laurie Berkner. It'd be great to teach myself their stuff so I could sing to my kids.

P freaked out when I brought the guitar out. Like crying freaked out, not like excited. Hopefully she was just having a day.....or this could be difficult.

Mother's Day Weekend

I had such a great weekend - I am so blessed with so many great family members and friends. I wasn't expecting so many people to wish me a "Happy Mother's Day." Wow - was it special! Hubby got me a gift that I have been really wanting, but I think it is also a message...it is a cleaning service to come in for a day and deep clean the house. ha! YES, we totally need it, and yes, I have been very lax. BUT, I did just have a kid and am adjusting to life with two kids.

Now, are they going to help with the pile of laundry in my room I have been meaning to get to for three weeks? The dirty bathroom that needs the dust behind the toilet cleaned? The baseboards that have mud or food splattered on them from the kids or dogs? Behind the fridge where I dare never to go or look for that matter? My windows? Wow - I sound like a filthy person!! Really, I sweep, dust and mop often, but the deep cleaning stuff is SO dreadful and SO needs to be done.

Anyhow, about the weekend. Mila's birthday was Saturday. She turned three. We all had a great time. Peyton loves Mila and they played and played. One of them would end up in the bounce house yelling the other one's name until they came, which they never did because they are 2 and 3 and don't really get that when they hear their name they need to come running. They were both in the ice chest eating the dirty ice from holding cans of coke, water and juice boxes all day. And, Peyton played with Mila's toys that I didn't expect her to be interested in. She loved her little plastic animals and a game that had these little Scooby Doo figurines. I just am having a hard time adjusting to her getting older - I need to learn how to play with her and what activities to do. I am still so into her being a baby still.

Yesterday we went to my mom and dad's. My brother and his family were in town. We had brunch and visited. P play hide and seek with her cousin Bailey - super cute. He is 9 and seemed to have to much fun with her. Ethan was good all night Saturday and all day Sunday. He certainly has won some hearts over. Of course, I get to drive home with him screaming. Ha!

We almost have everyting set for the basement to be finished. Hubby put the final light fixtures in and started ripping the drywall down in the bathroom. I can't wait to pick out fixtures for that bathroom and actually use it. That will be the guest half bath from now on and I can redecorate the kid's bathroom, too.

Mom's Day

I had written this in mind when Peyton was a wee babe. I never put it down because I simply didn't have time or forgot or was too lazy. But, today I put it down in tribute to myself and other mommies who are incredibly tired...and wouldn't exchange one hour of sleep that would mean they'd miss that hour with their babies. I am a mom, an incredibly lucky mom and today I realize how special it is.

You look into my tired eyes. It 3am.
You fuss and battle me because you are hungry?
Maybe tired?
Maybe uncomfortable?
A scratchy sleeper?
You look into my tired eyes. It is 3:15am.
You slobber and put your fist into your mouth, but you don't eat.
Are you hungry???
Maybe tired???
Maybe uncomfortable???
A scratchy sleeper???
You look into my tired eyes. It is 3:45am.
You fuss and fuss again.
I question and question again.
Maybe tired?
Maybe uncomfortable?
Maybe a scratchy sleeper?
You look into my tired eyes. It is 4am. This time I don't get up to put you down.
I smile.
I hold you.
You smile.
You nuzzle.
You sleep.

Today is much better

Thankfully, today is much better. I took P to play at the EBC and Beth and the kids were there. It was nice to talk to her. It is crazy how we each have our own issues, but can totally appreciate and understand each other. Becoming a mother is more challenging than I thought, and now being a mother of two that challenge has increased. I really want to be the best mom I can be and feel I never even get close to the vision I have for myself. I guess just thinking about Sheilah and feeling a little sad right now.

The woman who delivers our mail stopped by our garage sale a couple of weeks ago. She has a woman who takes care of her 89 year old mother with a new little girl, and I guess taking care of the older woman (I originally wrote "old lady," but that sounded kind of crass...) is the only income she has. The mail lady asked if we had any 12 - 18 month clothing that she could buy for the woman's little girl. Well, it has taken me a few weeks, and considering P wasn't/isn't in 18 month for summer, I didn't have much to offer. But, I found a few things I bought last year that still had tags that are 12 month for summer. I pulled those together and a few other things that I thought seemed like they would fit the little girl and gave them to the mail lady this morning. She wanted to pay, but there is no way I was going to take her money. I just hope the clothes can help.

And, given that story, I am feeling mournful concerning Sheilah. I really miss her and am so bummed that my kids will only know her through stories. Sheilah was her own amazing philanthropist. She was constantly giving to others. At her sickest, she was still crocheting little blankets for the small children in DF's cancer ward. Well, one of the jumpers I gave the mail lady was a Disney jumper Nicole sent P last year for her birthday...from Sheilah. Even after death, Sheilah was looking out for her little granddaughter. I had put that jumper in the stuff I took to Once Upon a Child and it came back to me...I truly think for a reason. I wanted to keep it, but Shane and I discussed it and decided that Sheilah would have given that mail lady the jumper for that little girl...so, that is what I did.

We a making a donation each to DF in Sheilah's honor for Mother's Day. It won't be much, but any little bit we can give to hopefully find a cure for women's cancers will hopefully help.

I forgot to notate P's 2 - year pediatrician visit:

34 inches tall (50 - 75th %)
24 pounds (10th %)
I have to convert her crib into a bed.....NO! :)

Having "a day"

I am having an emotional day today. I am on the verge of tears constantly. I don't feel well and I think that is the main reason for it. Plus, it isn't a good thing to not feel well, be tired, and go through baby clothes on a rainy day. It is rough emotionally. I was looking at clothes P used to wear and it was making me really sad because she is growing up so quickly. And, believe it or not, but E! He is currently 3 and 1/2 months old and wearing a 9 month sleeper. Can't I stop time and take the time I need to really enjoy them? No, I guess not. I have to take all the time God has given me to have children and watch them grow.

I had the carpets cleaned today. Just in the living room, up the hallway and the area rugs. It is time to get winter completely out of the house! The only thing I hate about it is that things aren't back where they are supposed to be. I don't deal well with that. I am by no means a neat freak, but when I have a bunch of papers on the mantel and I expect to see them there, when they are moved it makes me feel uneasy. I have to get used to the change. I know, I am weird.

Hubby says I am far too hard on myself. I couldn't get dinner done so hubby is picking it up and P and I just watched movies, played a little bit and listened to music while we went through clothes. Nothing really major or fun. It made me feel guilty to have her watch Peter Pan and then a Bug's Life in a row, but, she wanted to...and I let her because I just don't have the energy today to get her mind occupied on something else. Hubby just said that I have to stop and take a break sometimes -that not everyday has to be full of activity. He said my goodness, you kept our daughter healthy and fed, and nursed our son who may just come up with a way to drop corn into countries with starving children to keep them fed. hahaaha! He always makes me feel better.

P is so funny. She wanted to wear her snowsuit and wanted mommy to make it snow so she could go out and play in it. She got really upset when I was explaining that it won't snow for a while and mommy can't make it snow. She cried for like 5 minutes. Awwe...I know it is hard for her little mind to get it. Poor thing. :)

Bounce Yer Brains Out

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

From my dear, sweet sis-in-law

Kristin,
I just received this today. Funny Somebody never said being a Mother you would have to give up a friends wedding to nurse your baby. Normal is history.
D

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby.... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.* * *

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct . Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.* * *

Somebody said being a mother is boring ....somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a'good' mother,your child will 'turn out good'....somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.* * *

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.* * *

Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first .... somebody doesn't have two children.* * *

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery....somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten ..or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'* * *

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.* * *

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home....somebody never had grandchildren.* * *

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her.... somebody isn't a mother.* * *

yep...bummed

So, I am super bummed out today. I spoke with my friend who is getting married in June. I had to cancel my plans of being in her wedding because of Ethan's weird food issues and refusal of the bottle. Now, I knew being a parent would be difficult, but had no idea I'd have to made decisions like missing a good friend's big day. My friend is fine and totally understands, but I am not fine. I am upset and disappointed. I was so looking forward to seeing her walk down the aisle - I know what she has been through trying to find the perfect man and to see her finally get hitched was something I always wanted to see. She so deserves this perfect day in a perfect dress with the perfect cocktail.

She is getting married in a Catholic Church and the reception is at Wentworth by the Sea in New Hampshire (wentworth.com). I was going to stay at that beautiful hotel the night of the wedding and with her in the bridal suite the night before. We were going to spoon on her last night of singlehoodom. hahaha!

Hubby asked me if I would hold this against Ethan. My first answer without a doubt was no. There is no way I could hold this against my son. I mean, he can't help that he had trouble with his digestive system. If anything I am holding it against him that I can't have ice cream. just joking. Anyhow, I priced the cans of Alimintum (which would be our next step in regards to trying formula) and it is $27 a can....that would probably only last about two days. Luckily, I nurse or we'd be in a world of financial hurt over this. So much for his college fund. hahaha! No, really, I actually have a friend who has a contact at Ross Labs and she said she'd help me out, and we would just do what we had to do to feed him. That is what you do as a parent - make sure your baby is comfortable, eating, growing and happy. And when all of that is happening, you are happy, too. At least that is how it is in my world...and I love my little world of a toddler, a baby and a crazy hubby.

and, look at that mug......

A week that felt like a year

I am so glad last week is over. I was totally looking forward to P's birthday, and totally stressed out by it as well. Getting the house together, planning the menu, thinking of games in case it rained, following to be sure people could come, etc. etc. etc. It all ended up being for not. She got sick, real sick, and not matter how much I willed for her to get better for the party I planned I couldn't take away the sickness.

Earlier in the week Ethan got sick. He was sick all night long on Monday or Tuesday, I am so tired right now that the days mesh together, so whatever. But, we do know he has food allergies...and so hubby and I found out, he is refusing to take a bottle, too. ugh. This means that even if I spent hours and hours pumping he still wouldn't take it because he decided to be difficult...well, he knows he has a choice now and no matter what, a nursing child will always choose mommy. This puts a damper on my life. And, lucky me, P is finally feeling a bit better and he is deciding to not feel well...for the umpteenth time. I am so over it. When will my baby be 100%? And, when will I ever get to sleep?

P was diagnosed with a viral infection - that is what was giving her the 103 and 104 degree fever. She also has a double ear infection. The scariest part of her being sick was how she looked. Her eyes were half open all the time and she just looked miserable. She would still smile if we tried to make her laugh...what an angel. Last night she kept dancing to the Wiggles, so I was hoping that meant she was on the upswing. This time she was. She slept almost through the night and was up this morning looking SO much better. She had her 2 year appt. at the pediatrician and he said her ears looked pretty bad but that was to be expected. When we got home she showed how 2 she really was. She was hitting Loki with a wrench she got from hubby's work bench downstairs, she kept jumping on the easel mom/dad got her, she kept feeding the dogs and kept screaming when I asked her to stop because Ethan was FINALLY sleeping. I was laughing inside even though I was getting annoyed. It was pretty cute, and I am just happy she is feeling better.

Stilla fevero

P still has a fever. Not so happy about this. She has been quite fragile (Susan introduced me to this lovely word when talking about babies...love it!) all day and it breaks my heart. Her little eyes are so heavy and she cries at the drop of a hat. She is still stinkin' cute, though.

This morning I made a coffee cake and she came in the kitchen and got wide-eyed and asked "oooohh, what is dat?" I told her and she responded "ooohhh." As if she had the cake before and it was a special treat. Thing is, when I served her a piece she wanted nothing to do with it. So much for bribing my sick daughter into eating. Well, at least hubby got some popcorn in her when they watched Big Bird in Japan....anything to keep her quietly sitting since she refuses to nap today. I can't believe she wanted popcorn, but hey, at least she ate something! As a mother, I am frantic about what she puts in her body. It is almost an obsession. It is a NEED for me to have her eat three squares and snacks, and normally she eats really well. So, with her being sick and not eating I am torn up. My child is sick and I hate it.

This morning it was pouring rain and I was feeling less sad about canceling her birthday party. Then 3pm hit and it was beautiful. Blue and breezy, perfect. Then I remembered, even if I wanted to have her birthday I couldn't. P is sick and needs to get better...not party.

Hubby and I decided to just have family over Sunday evening for a cookout and cake. A small celebration for her birthday. I think she'll be really happy to see Grammies, Papa and her cousies.

Ethan is sick, too, but it is just a cold. I am so over him not feeling well. I mean, how much more should a little 3 month old endure? Hopefully this means he will be a invicible when he gets older. I took a picture of his little butt today. It is so cute and dimply - hubby and I laugh at how chubby he is. The cutest thing ever is when I take him out of the bath and put him in his towel. His back is to the mirror so I can see his chunky thighs and behind - he kicks his little legs and his chub shakes. I adore it.

P is TWO?!

Miss P turned 2 yesterday. She seemed more like a little girl than ever...watching her play and the things she was saying to me - made me realize how quickly she is growing. She was so cute yesterday morning when we talked about her birthday. She didn't really get it, but she just went along with it and we enjoyed the day. First, I took her to library storytime. It was the first time in the 2 - 31/2 class. Normally, we went to the 6 - 24 months, but since she was officially 2 I wanted her to be initiated into her first 2 year old class...and on her birthday! How perfect, I thought. She had fun. When we got home she played outside and then wanted some chocolate so we went out and got her a cookie. Then I put her down for a nap. I knew she wasn't feeling that great and I wanted to be sure she was rested for her big outing to Chuck E Cheese for dinner. When she got up from her nap I let her open two of her presents - one from hubby and I and the other from baby brother. Hubby got her this adorable Wonder Pets flyboat with the characters - she LOVED it. I was in awe because I didn't think she was old enough for such a toy...boy, I no nothing about toddlers! I got her ABC flashcards, a growth chart, and Nemo Bubbles. I am not a fan of the Cheese, but kids love it...and she was no different. She had a ball. It was adorable.

I actually had fun people watching. I saw the woman with the biggest body and tiniest head, I saw a snot-nosed three year old that couldn't keep her hands off of my baby and I felt like I had to spray him down with sanitizer everytime she poked at him, I saw a mother with her belly hanging out hogging the children's version of roulette to win tickets for her kid (she should have had a cigarrette hanging ot of her mouth), and the topper was a grown man fighting with younger boys over tickets. uhmmmm....

Anyhow, I am extremely bummed because I had to cancel P's birthday party. She has a fever that keeps climbing. Last time I checked it was 102. She is watching Nemo and seems okay, but I don't think it would be fair to have a bunch of people over with her sick and then with the possibility of getting the other kids sick. She doesn't really even understand that there was going to be a party for her tomorrow, she is a little too young to get it. I bet she'd be happy inviting a couple of friends over and playing in the dirt, and possibly eating it. We may reschedule for Sunday, but I am not going to push her.

Can't breath

Baby E is doing much better, but he now has a cold. ugh. He was up a lot last night coughing and sniffling. Poor thing; he has dealt with a lot of sickness in his brief time on this planet. P is sick, too, I think. She may be teething, though. I noticed a couple of little teeth buds where her eye teeth are supposed to come in. It hasn't stopped her from eating, so I am thankful of that. I always worry when she doesn't eat...because that girl can eat as skinny as she is. But, she has a runny nose, hubby is all congested, E is dealing with something and I am starting to feel congested. blah.

But, all of that illness sounds like heaven compared to the story my good friend just told me. My good friend Kelly is the entertainment director at the Ohio Renaissance Festival. She has been involed with festival for about 15 years now. She started as a wee babe named Colleen the town Cryer. I met her as Rose Rainwater, a fiesty washer wench who made fun of everyone, and she was Colleen the know-it-all washer wench who I loved to push into the pond and cover in ooey gooey mud. Fun pic - she is on the far left and I am on the far right....



Anyhow, she spoke with our old guild leader and gave me a little update on their lives. Come to find out our old friend's oldest son had done a little jail time that I never knew about. The reason he went to jail made me literally jump out of my seat. He had fallen asleep while watching his 9 month old baby on the couch. Well, the baby got wedged between the couch cushions and suffocated. Worse than horrible...just dreadful. And, on top of losing his child he was blamed for it. Now, I understand why he was blamed, but it wasn't like he purposefully killed his child, but he obviously is at fault. Gosh, I just can't believe the sadness that family has gone through.

That story makes me want to reevaluate how I am currently sleeping with E. By 4am he ends up in my bed because I am too tired to get up for the 4th time in the night to nurse him. It has scared me from the get go having him in bed with me, but I keep doing it because it makes him happy and I get sleep. There by the grace of God go I.

Formula can be the devil

Okay, so I can understand why breastfeeding nazis are the way they are. E was sick AGAIN last night and it was because of formula. He puked from 9:30p until 4a and has had stinky poos/diarreah all day, and it is all my fault. I gave him two and a half ounces of Isomil Advance last night. My plan was to get him used to the taste of formula in case hubby runs out of breastmilk while I am away in June. We found out early on that E has a milk protein intolerance from his reactions to my breastmilk - so I cut dairy out of my diet, and now it looks like he has a soy allergy because of his reaction to the soy-based formula. That means either no formula or we have to spring for the incredibly expensive hypo-allergenic stuff. ugh.

I guess my plans have to change for pumping. I am going to have to pump once or twice a day to store enough EBM for while I am gone and also for a few days upon my return in case he decides to not go back to the breast. I'll have to be a pumping mom, then. And, that sucks for me because I hate to pump, but I will do what I need to do for him. I really don't want to put him on formula unless I absolutely have to - that is my own choice. I am not against formula, well I kind of am now after how sick it has made my baby...twice, but I really want him to have the same start P did. Her start was 13 months of breast only - she wouldn't take a bottle. I hope to do the same for E, but I would like for him to be able to take a bottle when needed.

Donating Maternity and Baby Stuff

So, the garage sale didn't go as well I as wanted it to and I have been looking into options as far as unloading the maternity clothing my friend and sis-in-law gave me, my maternity clothes and some baby items. I took some stuff to Once Upon a Child to see if they could take any of it and have been doing research to find places to donate clothing. I really didn't want to take the clothing to places that resell the clothes, rather places where women truly need assistance and cannot afford even deeply discounted used clothing.

I posted on Mamasource (www.mamasource.com) and some of the women were very helpful. The site really helped me out because I couldn't find what I was looking for by simply googling...my internet research skills aren't as good as they used to be! The mommies on Mamasource suggested Pregnancy Decision Health Center and from there I got another place called Maternity Resource Center. Both places take gently used maternity clothing and baby clothing. The MRC takes baby gear as well.

I plan to gather all my stuff together and take it down to the Pregnancy Decision Health Center this week. Once I start unloading more baby stuff, I will contact the Maternity Resource Center since they take the bigger items and older baby clothing.

Pregnancy Decision Health Center
http://www.pdhc.org/

Maternity Resource Center
http://www.bflco.org/

SO...THIS MORNING

Okay, so this morning I am going through her clothes that didn't sell at the garage sale to take to Once Upon a Child. I have a ton of really stinkin' cute baby girl summer clothes and am hoping to get some cash for them.

Anyhow, P is playing outside and comes to the door. The dogs run in and I ask, "do you want to come in or stay outside?" She decides to just stand there in the doorway while I ask..."In or out?" Then I say "I can't just stand here all day waiting for you to decide if you want in or out." She promptly replies "why not?" okay...so my child is going to only be 2 in a week and the backtalk is ALREADY starting???? :)

Cookout

We had friends over for a cookout yesterday in honor of two good friends that just got new jobs. My friend Daryl is going to be a special needs teacher and co-teacher at one of the city's art high schools, and Geni is working for Whetstone Library. Both jobs really suit both girls, of course Geni is still holding down 30 hours a week at North Star and at a yoga studio...I don't know how she does it!

The cookout reminded me how much fun we all have together, and the fact that there are now kids in the mix it is much more fun. My friend John cracks me up. He and Geni like kids but aren't into having them. John is great w/ kids, but he has a limit...and who can blame him. I sometimes miss the days of going to hangout and having a few beers w/out having to entertain or talk about kids. Anyhow, the dads were taking the kids to the park and John got guilted into going. It was just funny how he reacted, and quite sweet that he went.I think Peyton has a crush on him. ha!

P loves playing w/Mila, Myka and Amaya. She seems to get along w/Mila really well. She always gravitates towards her and they have fun playing together. Mila is turns 3 one week after P turns 2. If I hadn't lost the first one Mila and P would have probably had the same birthday and been the same age, of course, it wouldn't have been my darling P. Mila's laugh and happy-go-lucky demeanor make her such a joy to be around. Last night they left and then Kelly brought her back in. I thought they forgot something, but Mila wanted to give hugs and I guess cried in the car because she forgot. What a sweetie.

I am happy we had the cookout even though it was rough after having the garage sale earlier that day. But, I did get a lot of cleaning done for P's party next week!

Flattered

As my readers know, Ethan was born at the end of January. Well, two girls in my mommies' group just had babies, too. So, there are three brand new ones in addition to our other little ones in the group. It is so much fun to see our group expand and welcome new little lives to befriend.

Well, I find it interesting that all three of our babies were born with a full head of brown hair and weighed in the 7 lb range. Ethan was born at 7lb 3 oz, Joseph was born at 7 lb 10 oz and Naomi was born at 7 lbs on the dot. And, we got so so many compliments on how cute E was when he was a newborn, and those same people should see these two little ones, too. They are just precious! Wow are we lucky mommies to have cute babes on top of having healthy babies. God couldn't have been more generous! And, I am so flattered because the girls each put their new little ones in the outfits I gave them. That was such a nice surprise when I looked at their hospital pics and recognized the outfits. They were my absolute favorite sleepers.

Beth put Joseph in the brown and blue striped sleeper I picked out when I was 7 months prego for E. I loved it, and it was the only newborn one I bought - luckily, because E was in it no longer than a minute. The sleeper Heather put Naomi in was a gift to P that my best friend in Boston sent. It was from Germany, so you probably won't find another baby in it here in Ohio! P and E and now Naomi have gotten to wear it!

Looking at those newborns makes it unbelievable to me that Ethan is 3 months old today.

Travel Breast Pump

I did it. I bought a manual breast pump: the Avent Isis On-the-go. It came with 4 extra bottles, two newborn nipples, the pump and a handy bag to carry it in for $60 at Target. It took me a while to decide what to do because when I go to New Hampshire I didn't want to bring my electric pump. It would be too big and then I'd have to worry about the battery going dead, blah, blah, blah. So, I decided to get a hand pump. I am putting it together today to see how it works.

It has a lot of parts to it, but it looks easy to assemble and carry. It says it is really quiet and assures good massage for let down. From what I read, it works really well. I read reviews on Amazon and inquired on the La Leche League forum. I am crossing my fingers that it isn't one I have to constantly pump and end up getting carpel tunnel.

I'll post again once I get it cleaned, boiled and used.

Night Nurse

I am pretty sure E is going through his 3 month growth spurt. He has been eating a ton. Last night he was up every hour and a half and gulping down milk as if he had never eaten before. Needless to say, I am really tired today!

My legs are starting to hurt again. When I nursed P coming into the third month of her life I started to get really bad feet, leg and knee pain. I could barely get out of bed my feet and legs hurt so badly. I spoke with the doctor and they didn't act like it was correlated with nursing, but it clearly was. I went to Whole Foods when P was about 9 months old and spoke with the vitamin people there. One of the girls that helped me was nursing her child and said she had the same problem and that it was due to low levels of calcium in my body. P was deleting my resources so she could get what she needed to grow. Well, I went for a walk on Friday and noticed it was happening again with this baby. I hadn't been diligent about taking my calcium, which when I started taking it with P noticed a difference in less than a week with how I felt. My body loved it and the muscle and joint pain virtually disappeared. I also am staying on my prenatal vitamins. My LC told me when I had P that I could take Women's One a Day while I nursed, but that wasn't a good choice for me. That vitamin didn't have enough of whatever I needed to support what my body needed, so I started back on my prenate and an extra calcium supplement. That really did the trick, and I am hoping that it will this time, too.

I take calcium with magnesium and zinc twice a day in addition to PrimaCare One, which is my prenate. My prenate has added fish oils and is supposed to help while pregnant with brain development in babies and also while nursing. It worked with P - she is a smart little cookie. We'll see if it works with E, too. Could just be a myth, but who knows. I just look forward to my body feeling better.

So cute

I am sure that every parent has "those" things that their children do that just make their hearts melt. Incredibly cute, adorable, sweet and loving little things Peyton and Ethan do remind me how sweet I am on them, and also that they love their mommy and love just being alive.

Yesterday, Shane and I took them to the park. I had to nurse E, so hubby played with P. I was watching her run the way she does - with her little bounce and her little arms out in front of her. She runs like the stereotype of a little girl. I caught myself just sitting there and smiling at her as she played. She likes to run up to me and tell me that she "swing, mommy" or "I pppllllay in the dirt, mommy" or whatever it is. If she is out with someone else she has to come home and see me immediately and tell me what she did. A few months ago when I was pretty much just taking care of my newborn, she went to her cousie's birthday party. She got home an ran up to me and said that she went to Chuck E Cheese and showed me her little goodie bag. She was so excited to have gone and seemed so excited to tell me about it. It made me feel so special.

Ethan, even in his mere 12 weeks, is quite the heartbreaker. I will have him laying down on the floor and doing something with P, or trying to keep her from hitting him, and I'll look down and he is just beaming up at me. Almost as if he was trying to get my attention the whole time by smiling. I love it.

Peytonisms

"How about that?" Used if happy about something, if she did something that should be praised, if she is asking a question.

"Okay?" used as if answering "yes"

"Okay?" used as if whatever she is saying is what we are planning to do.

"Anodder song" meaning please sing a different song because the one you are singing stinks.

"Want some sishies" give me Goldfish crackers now

"milk" give me my milk

"want some.....want some...uhmmm..." give me a snack now

"mommy rock" I want mommy to put me to bed

Scared, much?

This weekend was really rough with my new little baby. It all started with a bottle I gave him of half EBM and half formula. He took the bottle okay and seemed okay for the following two hours, then it all started. My poor little guy started puking and didn't stop for about an hour. We took him to the Children's urgent care to get check out. At first they just checked him out, but then he got sick in front of the doctor. It was a little too green she said and wanted to x-ray him. The x-rays came back okay. He just had bubbles in his tummy and intestines which were the cause of his puking and diarreah. Basically, the bubbles signified a virus he had gotten. Who knows where he could have gotten that! We have been all over the place with playtimes, classes and shopping - I mean, I can't just stay in the house...especially with a toddler. I have to come to terms with the fact that I am going to expose him to germs and that he may get sick. It is so hard knowing it is probably all my fault he got sick.

Saturday night he just kind of laid in my arms with his eyes looking so drowsy and as if he was in pain. His little cry was like no cry I had heard from him since he was born. It was kind of a half cry like saying "I hurt, mommy." It just broke my heart.

The doctor said to just feed him an ounce or EBM or Pedialyte or let him "snack" if I wanted to breastfeed. If he ate too much we risked him puking it all up again because his tummy just wasn't in a state to handle too much food. We got through the night okay. He ate a little bit through the night and fed okay on Sunday morning. Then the next scare happened - there was what looked like blood in his diaper from peeing. I called my pediatrician again and she said that it wasn't blood but uric acid crystals from being dehydrated. Interesting. Then at lunchtime I fed him too much and he got sick all over me. That was so awful. It came out his nose and he just screamed and cried and cried. That was the last time he got sick, though - thankfully. Since then he has eaten, just less than normal, and he has had diarreah. He is peeing fine which means he is not getting dehydrated from the diarreah. If he stops urinating as much I am going to take him in again, but the pediatrician didn't seem too worried. She said a stomach virus was going around in kids. argh! Makes me not want to let anyone hold him or touch him for fear of him getting ill again. It is so scary when they get sick at such a young age.

P's Birthday

Whew! I am going to have a TWO year old! What is up with that????!!! I swore never to get married and have kids, and now look at me - an old married woman with two children....and I couldn't be happier!

P's birthday is May 1 and I am getting my plans underway. I have the invitations written out and just need to address the envelops and get them in the mail. I am inviting all of her little friends she plays with and family. We went in with a friend of our's on a bounce house and hopefully it will be in by her birthday. That'll be big fun for the kids, and keep them occupied! I have a few things in the works for activities and am still deciding on food. I need to get the cake ordered. I am all about ordering this year and making it easy on myself. Getting everything ready for the day isn't going to allott time for cooking, and that is fine with me. That part is always the most stressful when I am trying to pull everything else together...and this year I'll have Ethan to take care of in addition to cleaning, preparing, taking care of P, and shopping. Cooking just won't fit in. Now John can't complain that I put too many onions in the mac-n-cheese. :)

Papa Bill (Papa Bear as P calls him) gave P her birthday dress for Christmas. It is the cutest little pink Strausburg (strasburgchildren.com) with a purse. I can't wait for her to wear it. I will probably just put her in white little shoes Candyce let us borrow or get her some sandals.

I love planning her little birthday party. It'll be so much fun to plan E's as well. His will be so different since it will be for a boy and in the dead of winter. I'll have to put my thinking cap on for that one. Hopefully, this birthday party planning deal won't prompt a sweet 16 party that will end up on MTV...even though I am saving for it now (just joking).

Ethie baby

I can't believe there was ever a time when I said I wished my second child was a girl. I am SO smitten with my little boy. He is such a cuddley little monkey and so easy to take care of. He has just stolen my heart.

Over the weekend

Ethan update:

Ethan has found his hands and sucks on his fists. He is also much more aware of things around him and has started making solid eye-contact. He totally giggled at me the other day and I melted. He smiles all the time, very unlike P. P was a very sober baby. I have a feeling that they are going to be SO different - not just because he is a boy and is much bigger than she was as a baby, but his little personality is so different. P was kind of intense - you had to work for her smiles and coos, Ethan is the opposite. It is so cool to have such different babies.

It is funny that I write that P was intense, she still is, but she is so darn funny and laughs a TON now. She is really smart and is quite the talker. I just love seeing her grow. Sometimes I forget how young she is - she has such a mature little soul. She really loves her baby brother now and constantly checks on him and worries about him. I love it.

P update:

Well, as I mentioned, she is quite the talker. Her vocabulary has grown over the last two months by leaps and bounds. Strangers can understand her better, too (not just mommy anymore). She can tell me what she likes and dislikes. She looks more like a little girl than a baby. She is taller and more coordinated. She loves to dance, sing and get into things. :)

This weekend was rough on me with her because she got hurt twice and got a bad case of diaper rash. Saturday we went to lunch with friends and she burnt her mouth on potatoes. It was so sad. She cried and cried. At bedtime she even mentioned it. Her little conversation with me was about her friend Mila and then how a potato burned her mouth. awwwwe. Then on Sunday she fell and bit through her lip. She has a nice bloody swollen lip, but it doesn't seem to bother her today. Kids are so resilient. Then on top of those things, hubby let a dirty diaper go too long and she got a horrible case of diaper rash. Part of the reason was because of juice - she had some OJ that morning, and coming out it isn't very friendly to the tooshie. But, she is just fine and in a good mood...thank goodness. Not a ton of crying this morning.

LllllllLLL

P is working on her L's and it is hysterical to hear her pronounce words such as: pillow, Halloween, play, little. It is like her tongue gets caught in the roof of her mouth and she says "lllll" and then really draws out the end of the word. So, pillow sounds like pilllll lllll LOW.

She is currently addicted to the Jungle Book, and of course I keep asking her to say "jungle" so I can hear her L pronunciation. Speaking of the Jungle Book, I can't believe her attention span. She has been watching it for about 45 minutes and hasn't gotten up. I think she may be tired because generally she can't sit and do something for more than 5 minutes. Oh, TV is the devil and an angel. I have been able to get SO much done in that 45 minutes it is crazy. I put Ethan down for a nap and have done laundry, put laundry away, cleaned the kitchen, gotten dressed and talked to my sis-in-law. OH - and am posting. crazy....

I have had to cut out dairy from my diet because of Ethan's milk intolerance. The pedi said he'd like for me to cut it out at least until May and call him if I want to try to put some back into my diet. It is fine for me to be off of it; I just need to remember to take my vitamins. Since cutting out dairy, cutting down on all the sugar I was eating and cutting down my portion sizes, I have lost 5 pounds. It is really making me excited to lose the rest of my weight. I haven't put myself on a diet, per se (especially with bfeeding), but I am really trying to make good choices and cut out all the snacking I was doing. I have to lose AT LEAST 10 pounds to fit into the dress I need to wear for my friend's wedding at the end of June. I think that is doable - I have like 3 months. I would really like to get off 20 by then, but we'll see. My goal is to get down to around 138/140 (I was 142 when I got prego with P and felt heavy then). I am currently 162, so I have a long way to go! Gotta love having babies.

Drop your pants and boogie!

Hubby took P to our friend Daryl's last night. This is what she emailed me this morning:

"Peyton chased the cat and dogs and bossed Jogn around. She also kept going to the kitchen, dropping her pants, and dancing. Very funny."

My sweet family

Baby Ethan is 7 weeks old.

Miss P is 22 months old.

Oh my children

Yesterday I went to the mall play area with my mom, Aunt, Cousin and her kids. P had so much fun. Before we headed down to play we had lunch. P was very happy to munch on cheese pizza and have juice. I think that is her favorite meal...probably because she loves it and doesn't get to eat it that often. After lunch we gathered the troops and went to the play area that is full of squishy animals and slides to climb all over. It is a big enough area, too, for little ones to run around like mad people.

Peyton made some new friends that were about 5 times her age. These cute girls about age 11 were just smitten with P. They played with her and talked to her. P just loved the attention. My mom was watching P and when I came over to check on them my mom said to just watch what was going on. It was tremendously cute to see P interact with them and visa versa. P would run around and play and just watch to see if they were behind her. I wish they were a bit older and I would have asked if they could babysit sometime. ha! Baby E slept most of the time. That was a good thing because when he woke up he had to get his diaper changed about three times and nursed once, and I should have nursed him before we left, too. Other than needing to be fed and changed he was very good. He didn't start crying until we were about to leave. It was nice to know I can take him out for they day with little hassle.

Now, if it was P as a baby it would have been a hassle to me. The only reason being that I was SO uncomfortable nursing in public with her. I wouldn't do it, and if I had to I would freak out a bit. She wouldn't take a bottle after 3 months, so I had to nurse her for all of her feedings. With Ethan I don't have any issues nursing him in public. I mean, he needs to eat and I try to be discreet. Now, if I had some dude sitting next to me I probably wouldn't do it, but I don't really go anywhere that I would have to worry about sitting next to a strange man. My friend Susan just let me borrow a couple of nursing shirts. I am syked to try them out. I also bought the Bella Band, which has worked out fabulously. It is just a band that you wear to keep your maternity pants up and postpartum works as a "cover-up" for that skin area when you have to lift your shirt to feed the baby. Now, as my mommies group has discussed - it is absolutely not okay to expose your belly when you nurse. Heaven forbid someone see your once prego flab, but your boobs...oh well, who cares. ha! Cracks me up!! You'd think we were all on the Girls Gone Wild videos exposing our breasts at sometime or another. Really, we just want to give our babies good mama's milk and we don't care who gets a glimpse of the nip.

Ethan's first round

I took E to the pediatrician this morning for his 2 month check-up and immunizations. He received FIVE shots and one oral for Rotavirus. Ugh. Poor thing. He handled it like a champ, and I am proud to say that so did mom. I did not cry this time around and I am not sure why. I still felt as bad as when P got her shots, but since I have been through it before I think it was easier. Plus, he IS a boy, so SHOULDN'T he be able to handle getting those measely little shots? haha! As if...men are worse than girls about that stuff...sorry guys.

He cried and whimpered for a bit after the pokes, but I think that was because he was hungry. My little guy is not so little. Since his 12 day check-up he has gained 6 pounds 2 ounces and grew 2 full inches. Wowzers. I knew he had gotten bigger, but didn't think it was that much bigger. No wonder my boobs are so damn BIG.

His current stats at 2 months:

Weight: 13 pounds 14 1/2 ounces
Height: 23 3/4 inches
Head circ.: 16 inches

I am going to administer a bit of Tylenol and let him sleep all day. I think that is pretty much all he wants to do, anyhow.

P spent the night at Gammy and Papa's. It was easier to take E alone today, and after the appt. I was able to run a couple of errands. P had a great time with Gammy and is currently on her way home to hopefully take a long nap. She has been up passed her bedtime three nights in a row and needs to rest. That is when they grow, ya know?! :) at least so I am told....

Happy Easter!

Miss P and Baby E had a very nice Easter. Friday we went to the zoo for their Eggs and Paws Easter celebration. P had a great time looking at the fish with daddy. Saturday we went to the school behind the house for their Easter Egg Hunt. P wasn't so sure about collecting eggs with the kids - some of those kids were CRAZEEEEE. She just hung out with mommy and daddy and one of the volunteers made sure she got a couple of eggs. We went inside and did a few crafts and ate doughnuts. That night went to our friends' house to color eggs. It was a great time and P got to play with her friends Mila, Amaya and Myka. It was so cute to see the girls play together. We got home way passed P's bedtime and put her to sleep in her clothes. Unfortunately, hubby didn't change her diaper and she had pee everywhere Sunday morning. So, P got an Easter bath before getting to the good stuff. We plan to take the kids to see Gammy and Papa for Easter dinner.

She loved looking for her little eggs. We got plastic eggs and filled them with stickers. I didn't her a bunch of candy because I figure we have years ahead for that...plus, I don't really know what she can eat without choking. I got her a chocolate bunny and cookie from Whole Foods. I also got her a toy and bunny ears. She is just still so young - but even being that young she LOVED her visit from the Easter bunny. The first thing she did was dive into the chocolate bunny and eat its ears and head. I was a little concerned...uhmmm...controlling mommy....about her eating candy before breakfast, BUT it was Easter and I need to loosen up. :)
Baby E just hung out and let his sissy search for eggs and have fun looking at the baskets. E got a new sleeper, Baby Legs and a hat. His Baby Legs are not just for girls - hubby was worried about that. E's legs have skulls and crossbones on them. I mean really...no polkadots!

Cindy Loo Who?

Ethan Update

Ethan was sick last week - nothing horrible, but none-the-less sick. As a newborn I had to take him into he pediatrician. I am glad I did for peace of mind. Well,I thought it was over and then he woke up Monday with blood in his stool. I called the doctor again and had to bring him in. They tested his poo and found that there was indeed blood throughout. This time you couldn't really see that there was blood in there, and he had diarreah. I had NO idea what baby diarreah looked like in breastfed babies because it is always some form of runny. Well, now I do know what it looks like and I feel terrible because Ethan has had diarreah pretty much since he was born.

Turns out the baby may have milk protein intolerance. I had to keep him and me off of all dairy products for 4 days. He was/is supposed to clear up in about 4 days. Hopefully, he does today because today is day 4. I take him in for his 2 month check-up and immunizations on Monday; I will also take in a stool sample in this nice little bottle they gave me. It comes supplied with a little scooper and all! I never thought I would be so poop-focused in my life, but it seems every few hours that I change a poopy diaper I am examining it as if I am looking for gold.

On a lighter note, Ethan smiles all the time. When I am concentrating the most or getting frustrated with Peyton is when it seems he beems at me. I catch a glimpse of him and have to do a double take. That is when he and I make eye contact and he just smiles and coos. It has to be the sweetest thing ever. I just love it! And, I am the only one he does it for right now and that gives me all sorts of warm fuzzies. He also grounds me when I see him smile at me - it gives me a moment to just look in his eyes and realize that he and Peyton are the most important things in my life right now. What on earth would I do without them?

I also had "that" moment with Ethan. When Peyton was a baby I remember looking at her and I felt as if I was looking into a mirror. It was an incredible moment that made me feel so connected to my child. It was wonderful. Well, yesterday I had it with Ethan. I hope I always feel connected with my kids. When Ethan was born I felt I lost that connection with P and it was so troubling to me. I cried constantly for that "lost" relationship. Well, it was a short time period and now we are back to what we were before. She just understands mommy has to share some of her time with baby brother. It is all good.

Let it snow!

The best part of the snow was that we got to play in it! I pulled Miss P around in this tiny sled hubby picked up. She kept wanting me to chase the dogs. Needless to say, I got a workout. We built a snowman and I kept picking her up out of the snow. The snow was rather deep and she kept getting stuck. haha! We tried snow angels, but that was a little advanced for her, so mommy just laid in the snow like a pile of goo and built the snowman.

I haven't built a snowman in ages and kind of forgot how to get the perfect snowball going. I basically just kept piling snow onto a ball I created and rolled it. I guess you are supposed to just keep rolling the ball in fresh snow, not in the stuff you already packed down. We stuck a stick in the head to make it a reindeer. The snowman fell over that night.

Whoa SNOW!

I thought it was supposed to be spring?! Is the old saying that March comes in like a lion and leaves like a lamb? I hope it is true and that we are going to have better weather soon and that it will continue. Even though I have been homebound with the newborn, now that I finally feel comfortable going out I CAN'T! at least not today...:)

We have received probably 12 inches of snow so far and it isn't quitting. There is this huge mass of snow just hanging from our roof. I have no idea how it is staying there. It looks like our house has an eyebrow.

Hubby was out shoveling the driveway last night and he had P helping him with a little garden shovel. It was far too cute. She was in her big pink marshmallow snowsuit with the furry trimmed hood and her pink boots, and her little shovel. She was scooping up the snow and throwing it like daddy was with his big shovel. Hubby could have used that little shovel because his efforts were squashed with the downpour we got overnight. The neighbors were using their snowblower and doing everyone's driveways on the street today - there is noway a person could shovel alone - it would take all day. What nice people! And, we barely talk to them! The funny thing is we are half their age. I was sitting on couch nursing E and watching them, and hubby was sitting in the chair covered in a blanket watching TV. What a pair! At least the young neighbors next door moved their car for them. We just sat and watched and said we will need to do something nice for them. Talk about lazy. haha!

Life changes

It is amazing how life changes when you have one child much less two children. Your relationships change with your family members and your friends. I have found I have grown apart from my single/child-free friends and closer to my family members who have children. I also have made a lot of friends through my mommies group and child centered activities. It is really fun and I have to say, some of the friends I am making now are amazing people and I am so fortunate to have met them. On the flip side of the coin is how disappointed I am in some other people in my life. It is amazing how some people don't seem like they really care what is going on in my life. They don't check in to see how Ethan or Peyton are or how Shane and I are doing. It is kind of sad. I guess my expectations were far too high.

Anyhow, now that I got that off my chest. My little man had gained yet another pound in a week. He is 11 pounds 14 ounces today. I laughed when I saw the number. He is just a little growing boy! Officially half of Peyton's weight at 6 weeks old. Peyton is almost 2! hahaha!

Peyton is quite the talker. She seems older than 22 months because she can talk so much and knows so much. She can point out her name, she knows a lot of letters in the alphabet, most of her colors, makes up her own little songs and dances like a crazy woman. I can't believe how much she has grown! She has also shown that she may be developmentally ready for potty training. She has been doing the things that prove she is ready - but, I am not ready!! I really do need to buy a potty chair for her. I think I am just going to get the seat that fits on the toilet instead of a chair. We'll see how that goes first. I have a feeling she'll like that better than using her own chair, but who knows! I bought a book about little girls going to the potty and she loves pressing the button that makes the toilet flushing sound. It is hysterical - she dances to it like it is music.

Ethan Smiled!

Ethan smiled at me on Monday (Shane's birthday and I get the smile...aawwwwee..) Well, I thought it was just a fluke or gas, but today he has been mister smiley-pants!

He is 5 and 1/2 weeks old.

He especially smiles at his big sister...

Pumping

I started pumping breastmilk this passed week after waiting for almost 5 weeks post-delivery. I have been trying to pump at least once a day for four days now. This is a different approach than I took with P because Baby E is such a different nurser. With Peyton I had to pump after every feeding the day she was born, and once more to help boost my milk supply because she didn't latch on and was a tiny baby. She was born on her due date and still only weighed in at 5 pounds 15 ounces. When we left the hospital she was down to 5 pounds even. It was important, as guided by my pediatrician who I adore, to supplement her feedings to get her weight up. We combined EBM with the Similac we were giving her to be sure she got the good mommy milk nutrients. It worked and we had to only supplement for about 6 weeks. I kind of wish I would have continued everyday with a bottle because at 3 months old she wouldn't take a bottle and became a breast-only baby.

Now, breast-only babies are very convenient...but only as long as you don't have to leave them. They will fight tooth and nail to not take a bottle, or they will hold out until mommy comes home. Eventually, though, they will take a bottle. But, why put your baby and your babysitter through that mess? P's first 13 months were spent only with mommy with small exceptions. I had a few one to two hour excursions, but that was it. Needless to say, by the time she weaned herself I pretty much didn't know what to do with myself. I mean, I had a TON of extra time, and I could even go see a movie if I wanted! But, by that point I was so close to her I didn't want to leave her.

Since E was born it is a different story. I want to be sure he takes a bottle consistently so I can free myself up a bit. I will need to have some times when I can use a bottle so that I can tend to P. For instance, I was at a playgroup on Friday and had to nurse E. P also needed my attention, and because she can run off I HAD to be there for her...and I wasn't. I had E on the boob and she was crying for snacks and starting to have a meltdown. I was totally frenzied because I had the newborn needing fed and P needing my attention and crying. Of course in public, too. It was a good experience for me because I need to learn to deal with those situations and be in control. I think part of feeling out of control is lack of sleep on my part.

Anyhow, I am giving E a bottle everyday. It was nice today. I left E with hubby so I could run a few errands. When I got home hubby was giving him a bottle and the baby was just fine. I got some one on one with my darling P and hubby got some one on one with Baby E. To me, it worked out perfectly.

Right now E only takes 2 - 4 ounces per bottle. That means I really need to boost up my supply because I am only pumping 2 ounces once a day and am barely getting ahead.

I can't believe I am at this point - with P I felt like a bottle was the devil. I was such a BF nazi. But, with the second one I realize that flexibility is more important than nursing your child straight from the boob everytime. It is more important your child gets fed. And, on that note, I am very lucky I can breastfeed. Hopefully E will go the 13 months P did - and longer if I have my way.

Playtime!

I ventured out of the house today and went to a toddler playtime with the kids. My mommies group was there and it was SO nice to see everyone and their little ones. I really missed seeing them. One of the boys started walking since I was gone and the girls all had longer hair. I don't want to miss as long as I did when I was "out" with Ethan. Plus, Peyton had a good time. I really wanted to get her out to have some fun. She misses her fun mommy. This tired cranky mommy is not much fun for her to be around.

It takes my darling P a while to warm up in situations like that. She just isn't the type of kid to just run and grab toys to play. She stands back, assesses the situation, and takes some time to figure out where she "fits" in. That is exactly the way her mommy is. I have been accused many times of being a b&tch or rude simply because I am uncomfortable in new situations or kind of shy. It takes me time to warm up and then I am outgoing. It is just the way I have always been. I blame some of it on my sign...Scorpio. It is kind of funny that I was in PR for so long because I felt uncomfortable much of the time.

Anyhow, I don't count anymore (haha!)...onto kid #2. I weighed Ethan at the weigh station...he is a whopping 10 pounds 14 ounces! That means he has gained 3 pounds 11 ounces since he was born (5 weeks ago). I keep saying he eats constantly...now I have the weight gain to prove it. Hopefully, he'll help me get back to my pre-prego weight a bit quicker...we'll see. Probably should stop eating Cadbury Cream Eggs, too.

Angry...much?

Ethan cracks me up. He gets very upset if someone else besides his mommy holds him. Here are the phases...I should have taken him back at phase two. haha!

Phase one - he is a little unsure of what has happened. I handed him over to daddy...he thinks: "hmm, does this mean I am not near my foodsource? I'll try to remain calm."

Phase two - he is really unsure and is now about to cry. "You've got to be kidding me. Handing me to a man with no meat on his bones AND NO BOOBS!"

Phase three - yeah, he's mad. "Okay, I am really pi$$ed...and hungry."

Phase four - yeah, he's really mad now. "Daggonit - I am mad, really mad and I am going to cry until I get what I want when I want. Stupid man with no boobs." "Oh, whoops. Shouldn't talk about my daddy that way...he pays the bills."

It has already started

Last night I bathed both the babes since hubby was stuck at work. It took me a while to figure out how I was going to bath the newborn and my toddler at the same time. I ended up just doing it like an assembly line. I got the baths ready, undressed each baby and then put them in their separate cleaning tanks. P was easy because she didn't need to be washed down - I just let her play in the bubbles with her toys. E on the other hand needed to be thoroughly washed clean of the spit up and pee he had gotten all over himself througout the day.

As I washed E down I noticed P had all of this grime all over her face. I thought, "how in the world can a child get dirty in the tub?!" Well, I deduced it to one of her bath squirties having old water that molded in there.....disgusting. So, I tossed all those toys. yuck. Now she wasn't the easy bath I intended - I HAD to bathe her and wash her hair. Ugh. So, E just layed in his towel screaming on the bath carpet. It was so fun...not.

Then after the bath P started screaming because she was cold and I couldn't get her dressed fast enough. I had to dress the newborn first, obviously, and I couldn't just leave her in the warm tub water...unless I wanted child services beating down my door. Eventually the screaming twins were quieted down. I was able to get P's hair brushed and her teeth brushed. She wanted bows in her hair because her PJ's had a bow on them...too cute. After I was finished I put P on the bed with E and went to get some of the water sopped up from the bathroom floor. When I came back in the bedroom...literally seconds later, P was brushing E's "teeth." It was hysterical. I am so glad I had the camera sitting right there. Now, you know I am a second time mom when I let my toddler "brush" my newborn's teeth and grab the camera instead of stopping her. hahaha!

Sleeping

Even though I am not sleeping, Miss P has reached a milestone with her bedtime habits...well, I think MOM has reached a milestone with Miss P's bedtime habits. Hubby kept telling me he could put her right down and she may cry for 5 minutes and then fall fast asleep. That was never the case for me. I had to rock her completely to sleep or she would cry forever! I had set up a routine that I was having a hard time letting go of, and just putting her down to sleep was not in the routine. But, with the new baby I had to make some changes, and her bedtime routine was one of them.

For starters, I was being way too time generous. I would read her at least 8 books, rock her to music for at least half an hour and then gently lay her down. If she cried I would go in and get her. Slowly I stopped going in to get her and let her cry to fall asleep. Then I cut the books down to three, but I couldn't let go of the "rock down to sleep." Frankly, that part was getting on my nerves. P would play, mess around, want water, cry to read more...anything to not fall asleep. And, I was enabling that behavoir by not enforcing a "last song" or "one more minute of rock time," etc. It was really hard for me to not give in...I just wanted her to be happy, but obviously what I was doing wasn't making either of us happy.

So, last night I tried just putting her down after 2 books and 3 songs and it worked! Not only did it work, but I felt really good about it and so did P. I put her in the crib, tucked her blanket around her and put her little reindeer next her. She actually got to hear my last "I love you" for the day. She just snuggled in under her blanky and did not make a peep. Lately she has been uncomfortable on my lap, anyhow. She has gotten big and can't just lay her head on my shoulder without her legs all cramped up. I think she welcomed being put down sooner rather than waiting until I let her fall asleep. Plus, I realized that I am not doing her any favors by rocking her to sleep all the time. She wasn't learning to fall asleep on her own...and at almost 2 years old she needs to be able to fall asleep on her own. It is hard letting my child "not need" me.

Child for hire

For Hire:

One small child to clean house.

She does floors, windows and appliances. Anywhere there is dirt. No bathrooms as the toilets and tubs pose a lost toy or drowning risk to child.

Rate: will work for cookies (now, ain't that bargain?!)

Choreplay

I just received this in an email from a good friend of mine:

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/living/stories/2008/02/12/choreplay0212.html?imw=Y

It is about how your husband doing chores is more rewarding for Valentine's Day rather than a box of chocolate or flowers. This was my response to her:

"you know what is so funny about this? it is true, I think. last night I left the house a mess because I was so tired. this morning I woke up and it was all cleaned. i can't even tell you how much that meant to me - much better than chocolate that will go straight to my ass...of course, now I am dying for a piece of chocolate..and my house is a mess again. hahah!"

Chuck E. Cheese

P had her first visit to Chuck E. Cheese last night for her cousie Mindy's birthday. Hubby took her. All day we talked about how she was going to a birthday party, eat pizza and cake, play games and get to see her Auntie Carol, Candyce and Carlye and Mindy. She was really excited...until she got there. Hubby said she was really shy and seem overwhelmed. I am not surprised. She is still seems a bit young for a place like that, but she did have fun.

I could tell exactly how she was feeling when hubby showed me a picture they took together. I saw it in her eyes and her expression - completely overwhelmed. I have seen that look before and really wish I was there to help her ease into the situation, but she was just fine. My little Miss Independent. Hubby said she kept playing with a broken game. It was a car racing game and the screen was stuck but she really liked turning the wheel and acting like she was driving. He said it was really cute. The games for kids her age are like the bouncy characters that rock back and forth and some balls. Hubby said the atmosphere was stimulus enough. Kids running around screaming, lights and game noises going off everywhere, etc., etc. Not really my kind of place, but I will suck it up to take P again. I know when she gets a little older she'll be able to interact more with other kids and play the games...but, I can certainly wait. I can only tolerate a place like that for a short amount of time....I suppose seeing me child enjoy herslf would make it fun.

On an Ethan note - he lost his belly cord yesterday. I remember that P lost is on Mother's Day and it was a great gift. That little thing stressed me out knowing I could accidentally pull it out or something. Ethan lost it close to V-day - guess I will remember that little event always. haha! I am syked to give him a bath in a tub. It will be cute to see what he does.

He cracks me up. He goes from 0 - 100 in seconds as far as getting upset. There is no a "little" upset - it is either "I am wet and change me RIGHT NOW" or "I am hungry, give me boobie RIGHT NOW" or "I am cold - put a blanket on me RIGHT NOW!" And, that folks, is why I love him. It will be interesting to see if that little temperament is solely survival mode or if it is truly a part of his personality.

Today is better

Last night was rough. The baby was up every hour to eat and then up from 3:30a - 6a eating, spitting up, pooping and then just awake. It was so trying. This morning at 7:30a, after the millioneth time feeding him, I cried and cried. I felt so worn down emotionally and physically. I have barely slept in three weeks and my last two months of pregnancy were nights full of insomnia, so I feel like I haven't slept in months. I took a picture of myself to see what I looked like and was shocked to see the dark circles that are actually green and yellow - like I have been punched in the eyes. I'll have to be sure to wear concealer when I go out. ha!

Anyhow, I decided that this time is short and I need to just get through it and enjoy every moment I can of my kids at their ages now. I mean, like the old cliche, they grow so darn fast. I looked at P in her bed the other day and was so sad. She looked like a little girl instead of a baby. I have a hard time letting go of things, good-byes and am terribly nostaligic. Having kids makes all of those things ten times worse - how on earth am I going to deal with this? I hate that P is growing up and soon my little E will be running around like she is. Those thoughts were part of my tears this morning.

I think I am a little blue right now. This too shall pass and things will be on the upswing again. Maybe I'll get some yummy chocolate for V-day from hubby...chocolate always makes things better...and a good glass of red wine, and I have a few bottles waiting for a chance when I can imbibe. Watch out!!!!!!!!!!

TV = Friend

As much as I loath TV, I love it. Seriously. I am lucky to have a child that can be entertained by it at her mere 21 months of age. I need to keep her busy when I tend to the newborn without her wrecking the house, and the PBS programs and Noggin do just that. My cousin's children are about the same age apart and she feels the same way I do. She doesn't like that she has her son in front of the tube, but at the same time it helps out...a TON. She reminded me that it won't hurt their IQ to watch a lot of TV for a few weeks. That made me feel better because I was feeling terribly guilty turning on Clifford and It's a Big World.

I am really thinking about it today because I really need a break. Time to myself to just be quiet and clean the house a bit. She has been watching PBS for a couple of hours now (well, coming and going - as much as her attention span can handle). I am having a hard time even coloring with her today. I am just so tired. I promised myself it was just for the morning. When she wakes from her nap I will be more energetic...hopefully. It will all depend on if I get a chance for a few winks.

I think the weather plays a huge part, too. I can't just go out to the park because it is so darn cold. I really am over winter; but, am happy that since I have to be holed up in the house with a newborn it is also a time when everyone kind of hibernates.

Woohoo!

My darling P actually asked to eat broccoli! She kept shoving it in her mouth and asking for more and more of it. I can't express how awesome this is - quite a triumphant day in the land of baby. I have been trying for months to hide veges or put cheese on them or cut them up into cute little matchsticks, eat them in front of her....anything to get her to eat her veges. I gave up and just fed her extra fruit or mixed baby sweet potatoes with applesauce so she'd get something in her.

Oh the things that make me happy nowadays.

A little update on Ethan - he had his two week appointment on Tuesday. I took him in at 10 days since hubby was still home with me at that point. He gained 12 ounces, weighing in at 7 pounds 12 ounces and grew 3/4 of an inch making him 21 and 3/4 inches long. It is kind of crazy that he grew that much - especially when I compare him to Peyton. She grew long and lean at a pretty average rate.

I am not surprised that Ethan grew that much when I think of how much he eats. My boobs don't really get a break. It is totally different breastfeeding him compared to Peyton. She was really hard to get latched on in the beginning and we had a TON of problems, but I ended up bfeeding her for 13 months. Now, he latched like a champ, I have plenty of milk for him and am hoping he will bfeed for as long as she did, or longer. P weaned herself, and I have heard of many boy babies weaning themselves when they start eating solid foods. I hope that doesn't happen...we'll see! I can't worry about those things...needless.