Report: 35 percent of toys contain lead

By JEFF KAROUB, AP Business WriterWed Dec 5, 12:04 AM ET
Tests on more than 1,200 children's products, most of them still on store shelves, found that 35 percent contain lead — many with levels far above the federal recall standard used for lead paint.
A Hannah Montana card game case, a Go Diego Go! backpack and Circo brand shoes (here is the link I found to the shoes which were tested and have lead: http://www.besafenet.com/pvc/documents/lead_in_target_toys.htm If anyone finds another more helpful site, please post it in my comment section) were among the items with excessive lead levels in the tests performed by a coalition of environmental health groups across the country.
Only 20 percent of the toys and other products had no trace of lead or harmful chemicals, according to the results being released Wednesday by the Michigan-based Ecology Center along with the national Center for Health, Environment and Justice and groups in eight other states.
Of the 1,268 items tested, 23 were among millions of toys recalled this year.
Mattel Inc. recalled more than 21 million Chinese-made toys on fears they were tainted with lead paint and tiny magnets that children could accidentally swallow. Mattel's own tests on the toys found that they had lead levels up to 200 times the accepted limit.
The Consumer Action Guide to Toxic Chemicals in Toys, which is available to the public at http://www.healthytoys.org, shows how the commonly purchased children's products rank in terms of containing lead, cadmium, arsenic and other harmful chemicals. It comes in time for holiday shopping — and amid the slew of recalls.
"This is not about alarming parents," said Tracey Easthope, director of the Ecology Center's Environmental Health Project. "We're just trying to give people information because they haven't had very much except these recall lists."
Easthope said 17 percent of the children's products tested had levels of lead above the 600 parts per million federal standard that would trigger a recall of lead paint. Jewelry products were the most likely to contain the high levels of lead, the center said, with 33.5 percent containing levels above 600 ppm. Among the toys that tested above that limit was a Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game, whose case tested at 3,056 ppm.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a level of 40 ppm of lead as the maximum that should be allowed in children's products. Lead poisoning can cause irreversible learning disabilities and behavioral problems and, at very high levels, seizures, coma, and even death.
A spokeswoman for New York-based Cardinal Industries Inc., which sells the Hannah Montana game, said Tuesday that Cardinal was unaware of the environmental groups' tests or procedures but the product has passed internal tests.
"We test every (product) before it ships numerous times," Bonnie Canner said. "We have not tested this product high for lead."
Easthope said the product is manufactured in China. Canner declined further comment until she had more information.
The center and its testing partners found The First Years brand First Keys, Fisher-Price's Rock-a-Stack and B.R. Bruin's Stacking Cups were among the 20 percent that contained none of the nine chemicals.
"There's a lot of doom and gloom about lead in the products — people only hear about the recalls," said Jeff Gearhart, the Ecology Center's campaign director. "Companies can make clean products. Our sampling shows that there's no reason to put lead in a product."
Gearhart and Easthope said the products, while not necessarily representative of everything on the market, were considered among those commonly bought and used. Testers purchased most at major retailers such as Wal-Mart, Toys "R" Us and Babies "R" Us.
The testing began in 2006 but most of the items were checked in the past six months, Gearhart said.
Calls to a Mattel spokeswoman were not immediately returned Tuesday. A Wal-Mart Stores Inc. spokeswoman declined to comment because the company had not seen the report.
Toys "R" Us Inc. spokeswoman Kathleen Waugh also declined to comment because she needed to fully review the report's findings, referring questions to the Toy Industry Association.
Joan Lawrence, the association's vice president of standards and safety, said the group and its members support limiting accessible lead in children's products. But she said the industry and standard-setting bodies are struggling with how to measure exposure, accessibility and what limits to set.
She said she hasn't seen all of the Ecology Center's findings but called them misleading because the testers did not appear to follow recognized test procedures for lead and other substances. The two most common ways are to use solutions to simulate saliva and digestion, and another to attempt to dissolve the surface coating.
The center and its testing partners performed what they describe as a "screening" of chemicals using a handheld X-ray fluorescence device that detects surface chemical elements.
"The mere presence of any substance alone is only half of the answer — you need to know if it's accessible to the child," Lawrence said. "We can't tell that from what I know of the tests that have been done by this group."
Easthope said her group's tests aren't meant to replace those tests, and that's noted on the Web site. She said it's important for people to know what's in these products since nobody else is providing this data.
"We're not saying that ... all of it will come out into a child," she said. "We're saying it's a concern that so much of these products have these chemicals of concern in them.
"We shouldn't have lead in kids' products. We can make products without lead in them."
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission spokesman Scott Wolfson said he also hasn't seen the Ecology Center's tests but said the federal agency would seek to verify its findings and initiate recalls if warranted.
He said the commission has been meeting with ASTM International, which spearheads voluntary safety standards for toys, to discuss crafting standards specific to lead in plastics. He said there also is movement on Capitol Hill to revise laws on lead in children's products.
Wolfson said the commission launched 40 toy recalls in fiscal year 2006, three involving lead-paint violations. In 2007, there were 61 recalls, 19 involving lead-paint violations.
"What we would like to consumers to know is more recalls are on the way," he said.
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On the Net:
The Consumer Action Guide to Toxic Chemicals in Toys: http://www.healthytoys.org
Toy Industry Association: http://www.toyassociation.org
List of recalled toys available at the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission: http://www.cpsc.gov

Is it really all about Nemo

No wonder the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting on watching TV for children until they are 2...they get addicted easily and obsessed. My husband popped Nemo in one day for Miss P while I was out having some mommy-time and she now can't get enough of it. She asks to watch it all the time. I indulge sometimes, but that is only when I need to get things done - laundry, cooking, cleaning -otherwise I have no time to get those things done because she is constantly into something or demanding my attention.

She is watching it right now because I am a sucker. My mom and I took her with us to a craft/art show and lunch yesterday. She was so patient as we browsed jewelry, artwork and knit-wear. When we went to lunch she sat like a champ and colored while we waiting far too long for a soup and salad. Then she went back to my mom's house with us and kept herself busy while I helped mom set up Christmas stuff. I was so proud of her...despite the few little tantrums and refusals to get her diaper changed. So, today when she asked to watch Nemo I let her. I know I should probably turn the TV off and let her color or something, but I need to get some laundry done, clean the kitchen and get the dogs settled with breakfast - and all those little things take too much time if I am chasing her around or having to carry her on my hip. Plus with #2 due in just 7 weeks I am feeling physically tired and just plain big - I get in the way of myself. haha!

She doesn't just sit and watch Nemo the whole time, but she does watch the majority of it. She likes to have it on while she goes through books or plays "feed the animals" with her stuffed toys. I do set limits - like since she watched TV today she won't get to watch it again for a few days. Then I'll let her see Elmo's World on Sesame Street or a part of Nemo while I cook dinner. I just don't like for her to watch too much TV. I refuse to have an inactive child with weight problems because she is a couch potato. Let's save the self-indulgence for when she is a teenager, and by then hopefully she'll be too busy to tune into Nemo.

Dogs and Kids

I have to post this. I am so sad for my friend whose little boy was bitten by a family dog. It is so scary because I have tons of friends with dogs and we have two ourselves. I am constantly on the watch, but am afraid that isn't going to be enough one day (being a mother makes you worry about everything...pretty much).

I want people to be aware that dogs are still animals, no matter how much you train them or how loving they seem to be. Unfortunately, dogs are like babies to many people but we all have to be smart when we have our kids around dogs - you just never know. My friend's little guy was attacked so quickly and was doing nothing to provoke the dog. He ended up in the Children's Hospital ER Thanksgiving Day having surgery. Truly awful.

Here is what happened:

"On Thanksgiving we were at some family members and W was playing nearby he leaned back or something and brushed their dog. The dog grabbed his face and bit through his bottom right eyelid. He had to have 10 stitches on his face, 5 on his cheek and 5 in and on his bottom eyelid. He's doing remarkably and once the huge and nasty scab falls off his eye it may look similarly close to what it did. He had the cheek stitches removed on Monday since if you leave them in too long they'll create a railroad track appearance. His cheeks are obviously scarred and still not entirely healed but they told me to put vitamin e on them 3-4 times a day for 3 months to fade the scars. It was absolutely awful and I'm thankful he's okay. We spend the last part of Thanksgiving evening in Childrens ER with Will getting surgery on his face."

Here is her blog: http://jasonbethandfamily.blogspot.com/
You need to scroll down to see pics of her little boy.

The War on "No"

I read this article on the Daily Babble the other day: http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/tags/The+War+on+No/default.aspx

This article highlights how important it is to actually "parent" your child and not just befriend them. From what was written, many kids in today's society are having a hard time fitting in...mainly because they haven't learned from being disciplined consistently or have been given pretty much anything they want or overly praised. The author highlights that parents are more concerned with being accepted by their children and winning their approval rather than being the "bad" guy and taking things away from them or just simply saying "no."

Now, I know that I have issues with this already with my 1 and 1/2 year old. I find I want her to be happy so I will do things to redirect her instead of reprimanding her. I have read through a few things and talked to my pediatrician and basically was told it is okay to say no and not just redirect her. I can reprimand her in small ways and not feel guilty about it. But, that is so hard for me because sometimes I almost feel like she won't love me anymore if I reprimand her, which is entirely untrue. I am actually doing her a disservice by not disciplining her. As she grows up she'll actually have social problems if I don't say "no" when it is warranted.

Now, when I write the word "warranted" that is exactly what I mean. They have to do something bad not just do something you don't agree with - like brush their teeth differently than you showed them or throw a sippy cup...they have to be hitting the dog or ruining a toy or coloring on the wall.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't agree with parents who let their kids get by with whatever they want. If I ask Peyton to help me clean up toys, eventually I expect her to help me clean up the toys. If I ask her to settle down so I can get her dressed, eventually I expect her to settle down and let me get her shoes on her. Maybe I sound harsh, but eventually she will be in school and have to do those things without me around...and I want to be proud of my little muchkin not embarressed because I didn't do my job as a parent.

Happy Thanksgiving

Miss P says "Gobble Gobble!"

We are having dinner at my aunt's house. My mom and dad, Carol and Rick, Candyce's family and Great Grandpa will all be there. Hubby is making his traditional meat stuffing. The recipe is straight from his family in Ireland. It is delicious and absolutely HORRIBLE for you. I am sure I should probably get my arteries flushed after eating it, but hey, TG comes only once a year. I made a cranberry salad that is really delicious and uses whole fresh cranberries. No canned stuff this year (even though I do like the canned stuff, too).

We already have two Christmas party invites and many of our neighbors have their Christmas lights up. One of our local radio stations started playing Christmas music last weekend. I have to admit, I almost have all of my Christmas shopping finished up, but I am not listening to Christmas music as I do it....yet.

Well - the Macy's Day Parade is starting. Gotta run!

M&Ms are the devil

My aunt got me a bag of M&Ms for breast cancer survivor month for my birthday. They were light pink and pink, and I believe proceeds of the sale went to breast cancer research. I thought it was a cool gift considering she doesn't have the money to make a donation, but can do something small - and that counts, too...and is very thoughtful. She knows how I try to do what I can for cancer research...and would love to do more.

Anyhow, I ate the whole bag in three days. I wasn't feeling so well from doing that. I have been trying to cut down on sugar and I think eating that much in such a short time was a really bad idea. But, today I feel fine and am trying to stay away from junk - especially since Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I am trying not to gain too much more weight. I have gained 24 pounds already and have 2 months to go! They say the normal amount is 25 - 35 and I really want to stay in that range.

Speaking of cancer...last night in my education class my class friend shared a story with me that really tore me apart...and frankly, I can't really stop thinking about it. Her friend is 18 weeks pregnant and everything was going fine. The two friends even went shopping on Sunday and hung out all day. On Monday the pregnant friend started bleeding, and for those women who have kids understand that bleeding is common and you can still have a perfectly fine pregnancy. Well, she called her doctor and her doctor asked her to come in "right away." He brought her in and gave her an ultrasound.

Now, I bled the first time around and my doctor just said to keep an eye on it for a few days to see what happened. Just because it can be so common they can't just bring in every woman for bleeding, but for some reason her doctor did. And thank God. It truly was God working.

During the ultrasound the doctor noticed her left ovary had dropped and had a mass on it. By looking at the mass he knew he had to get that ovary out of her. He scheduled surgery for the next DAY! She went in and they cut her open from her pubic area all the way to above her bellybutton. They discussed having to take the uterus because when they opened her up the doctor could tell the mass was cancerous. He removed the ovary and a lot of the surrounding tissue to be safe. And this is the clincher - they just moved the uterus over with the baby inside and saved the baby!! He told her she would have a normal pregnancy and they would just monitor her closely for the rest of her pregnancy.

He also thinks he got all the bad cells, so hopefully she won't have to deal with chemo. As far as a complete hysterectomy the doctor said he wanted to wait until after the baby was born to determine what to do. I just think this is an unbelievable story.

8 months pregnant

I am almost 8 months pregnant - a week shy. I cannot believe I am in the single digit countdown! To think this summer I thought it would never be over and was so miserable, now I am enjoying the holidays and feeling great. The baby moves all the time. He was all over the place all night last night, but really didn't keep me up...yet. I am sure when he arrives I'll get the joy of hearing him cry and nursing him during the hours I normally sleep. But, that is such a short time in the scheme of things. Besides, I love having a tiny baby around. They are so cute and are pretty easy to take care of, once you get the breastfeeding part down.

I am really enjoying the time I have left with JUST P. She is so darn cute. I got a Canon PowerShot for my birthday and have shot tons of photos of her already. I love looking at her and hearing her little baby girl voice.

Nice...just as I am giving her all these compliments she just colored on my white tile floor and pooped out the side of her diaper....gotta love it. :)

18 Month Dr.'s Visit

P had her 18 month visit to the pediatrician today. She broke my heart. She was fine when we walked in to the office and played with some of the toys. As soon as the nurse called her she started wimpering. When we got into the room she full out cried. She was scared because she remembered that she doesn't like what happens in that room.

She kept saying "wanna go bye-bye." I was almost in tears when the doctor was checking her out and she was getting her shots because she was crying so hard. As soon as I picked her up she was fine, though.

All in all it was a good visit. I learned a lot about discipline, got the name of a good author that gives advice on raising a toddler and got my questions answered about when to switch her into a toddler bed, how to deal with her eating habits and what to expect over the next couple of months.

As far as discipline, the doc said to not even try a negative reaction to her tantrums (like time-out) until she is at least 2 years old. He said right now she doesn't comprehend certain punishments and that the biggest punishment I can give her is to take myself away from her. For instance, if she is throwing a temper tantrum about a cookie, let her cry and scream but don't give her the cookie and tell her that you will wait until she is done. You walk away and don't talk to her or interact with her until she is calm. That is going to be hard. I hate to see her cry...but, I know I have to be the parent and "parent" her. That is my job...as much as I want to be the big sister, the friend, the playmate, I primarily need to be her mom and her parent. That is hard for me because I just want to let her do whatever she wants so she is happy - but I know raising her like that would not make her happy when she older and has to face the consequences or the judgements of a relentless society.

1st Haircut

P got her first real haircut today! I wanted to get it cut for her Christmas pictures and knew there was no way I could do it. After all, I already butchered it once or twice and regretted how silly she looked. So, I decided to leave it up to the professionals.

We went to this little kids salon and she got right in. I did the "1st Haircut Special," which included a picture, a lock of hair and a little certificate stating how it was her first haircut. She sat, well stood, in a little black car and there was a Little Einstein video playing to keep her busy. She wasn't very happy about the whole thing but she did really, really well. The woman that cut her hair was great and knew how to keep her occupied as she trimmed and evened out the mess I had made a while back. It was a really great experience and I will definitely go back to them.

I can't even write how cute it was to see P in that little pink smock getting her cut. The woman even put mousse in and sprayed it so it looked cute for her 1st picture. Oh my, I was such "that" beaming mom. Then the best part - P got a sucker and a balloon. We left the balloon because that just ends up laying in my car for two weeks, but the sucker ended up being a real winner. I think knowing she'll get a Dum Dum after a haircut will make it easier next time around.

Also, I know where to get my bows for her hair. They carry Wee Ones, and a ton of them. I picked up a Christmas bow for the Christmas parties we are invited to and one for her pictures. I am so excited! Oh the little things.

Mother's Nightmare

P and I had her play class at the rec center this morning. It is an hour long class where the kids 18 months and older get to run around and play with toys, do a craft and sing and dance. The toys they have are the big toys you wouldn't neccessarily have in your home. They also have balls and mats everywhere so kids can roll around and run and kick/throw the balls. It is a ton of fun for them. P gets a little overwhelmed and needs mommy's reassurance to keep playing. It is rather cute...even though I would love for her to just run and play the whole time to get some energy out! haha!

Today we made little turkey puppets for Thanksgiving. They were basically just little turkeys with two holes in the bottom for your fingers. The kids got to color them and put feathers on them. Well, mommy more or less colored it and pasted the feathers on while P just played with the crayons and made a few little scribbles here and there. :) I just love watching her color and "help" me with the craft.

All the parents and kids pretty much leave at the same time. Some moms mill around the rec center and let the kids look at the kids in swim lessons or the pictures they have on the walls. I try to pay attention to moms and kids so I know who is with who just in case I need to grab a mom. Well, thank goodness I do pay attention. Today when we were walking into the parking one of the little boys from P's class was running out in to the road crying. He was maybe 2 years old. I looked back because I know his mom is always running to catch him (he's a busy boy!) and I didn't see her. I immediately went over to him and told him it was okay and that we'd find his mommy. He was saying mommy, mommy. Luckily with P in my arms he took my hand and I didn't need to catch him and calm him down. Poor little guy. I reassured him we'd find mommy and we started walking back to the rec center. I can't EVEN imagine what was going through his mom's head when she couldn't find him. Well, it was pretty much written all over her face when I saw her - the looks of alarm and fear all wrapped in one. She was walking fearfully to the exit looking to see if he was in the parking lot. She immediately saw me holding his hand bringing him to her and let out a huge sigh. Poor thing - she just held him and he cried and cried. I told her where I saw him and she thanked me. Other people were just letting him run right by them...that really broke my heart and I thank(ed) God I was there and that little boy didn't hit by a car or was hard to sway to get him to come with P and I to get his mommy. I am sure he recognized us from class, too.

It is not a joke when other moms tell you that you need to keep constant watch on little ones. In a split second they can run off and you won't be able to find them - I experienced that first hand today. Even though they are pint sized, they are fast!!

All Good

I received my test results yesterday from my glucose screening. My results were normal! So, I am not going to have to change my diet and freak out over if the baby is okay - even though I know GD is totally manageable and babies are fine. My mind just always jumps ahead to the "what ifs" and I worry when it is not neccessary.

I am happy I won't have to be under pressure to not eat sugar and carbs during the holidays. Like many others, holiday goodies are my favorite. It is just going to be a matter of keeping control of my eating. I already changed my eating habits when I thought I had GD and I plan to keep that up. I was kind of out of control and was justifying it by saying I was pregnant with a boy and boys eat a lot. Yeah, who was I kidding...certainly not the fat accumulating on my butt.

Another thing in my favor is that I am in my third trimester. It is hard to eat a lot when you have no room in your stomach to put the food since the baby is taking up all the space. Plus, I am too tired to cook all the time. The muffins and cookies I usually make just seem like too much work, and I don't typically buy pre-made cookies (mainly because I'll eat them all in like 3 days). I have a serious sugar addiction and it can get out of control unless I am strict with myself.

Another thing that is all good is P's ability to be fine at the sitter's all day. I dropped P off for the first time to an all day babysitter. It was much more difficult on me than her, that's for sure. When I left she just waved bye-bye and turned to the sitter as if to say "I am ready to play!" I cried for like 15 minutes and then got over it. Women have to do it everyday and they are just fine, and so are their children. When I picked her up the sitter went on and on about what a good girl she was and how she was really smart. I guess P was enamoring her with her extensive vocabulary and ability to tell adults exactly what she wants and how she follows directions really well for being 18 months. haah! Wonder where she got that from...hmmm....perplexing.

Talking

P cracks me up. She is getting so good at telling me what she wants in an understandable way. She is already putting sentences together. She tells me:

"want applesauce"
"I want to see Piper"
"are you sleepy"
"until I say so" which is from a book and she likes the words
"I want more apple" "I want a cookie" "I want a bowl"
"pile of leaves"

It is crazy to think that last year at this time she was just sitting on the floor with the boppy for support. Now she is kicking a ball, talking, climbing the stairs, pretend playing, petting the dogs "nice."

Oh - yesterday she put her bears in a row and grabbed a play spoon and hollow blocks from her toybox. She pretended she was feeding the bears with the noises of eating, the hollow blocks as bowls and feeding them with the spoon. I just sat and watched her. I was laughing inside but I was also amazed at her ability to do that. She seems so little to be doing such things.

Today at her See Me Run class we made a tamborine and she was pulling stickers off the sheet and putting them on her little plate. I couldn't believe it - that seems like a thing an older child should be doing. But, I guess like everyone says...they grow up fast. She played a lot in class, but I think she was a bit overwhelmed by all the big toys and the other kids. It was obviously fun for her and I expect next week she will tear into everything.

Second glucose screening test

I took my second glucose screening test yesterday. It seemed to go okay while I was there, but that is not an indication of whether or not I have gestational diabetes. I asked the nurse and he said that I just need to wait for the results from my doctor to see if I am in the clear or not. I'll find out on Monday what is going on.

I was wrong about how the test is administered. When you go in they take your blood after fasting for twelve hours and then you drink 100mg of glucola instead of the 50mg from the initial test. Then they take your blood every three hours. I felt fine during the test and asked the nurse if that was a good sign. He said every person reacts differently and that I will need to wait for the results from my doctor. When I drove home, though, that was a different story.

I ate a cereal bar in my car, which was a horrible choice because it had sugar in it. It basically made me feel horrible. I started getting really sick on the way home and was hoping I wouldn't pass out while driving. When I reached the house I ate a few crackers and drank some milk. I waited for the horrible feeling to pass and then ate a real lunch. I put P down for a nap and took one as well. It wasn't until after my nap that I actually felt kind of normal.

I am wondering if that is a normal reaction to that test. I am having a horrible time finding anything about it online. Luckily I have some family and friends who went through the test that I can ask.

I changed my diet over the passed two days and feel much better. It is probably better that I changed it even if I don't have GD because I was eating way too much food or some days too much junk.

Trick-or-treat

Last night was the first time P went trick-or-treating. She had fun walking around and looking at all the costumes, but she did not like going up to a stranger and saying "trick or treat." She pretty much cried for me the whole time. I assume that is pretty overwhelming for a one and a half year old. We went to my cousin's house because she has a great neighborhood, had dinner and then the kids watched The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

There were kids crawling everywhere when we drove up. As a matter of fact, one kid just ran in front of my mom's car. Hubby said it was "their" night and adults were just candy suppliers. haha. The houses were all decorated and some people went all out. There was group of neighbors that decorated their garage and it was incredible...and incredibly scary. I couldn't even walk up there much less take P up there. I am still pretty afraid of people in scary masks - nope, still haven't grown out of that one.

We only went to a few houses so she could experience the whole thing. I didn't let her have any candy, though - I am such a meanie. She didn't ask for it, either. Today she got her little bucket out and played with her candy. I don't think she knows she can actually eat what is in the wrappers. Next year I am sure it will be a different story.

She was a little bug and carried her Miss Spider Halloween bucket her Nana got her before she was born. I was having more fun watching her in her little costume than anything. When we got back to my cousin's she just played and talked about "monster story," a book called The Big Green Monster she likes to read.

Gestational Diabetes - 2nd Screening

I received a call from my doc's office about my glucose test. Seems my levels are elevated and I have to go in for a second screening to determine if I have gestational diabetes. I guess it is standard procedure. I wish I knew the stats on how many women actually have gd from going in for a second screening but I can't find that information. Of course, I am a little apprehensive about the test since I may just have gd. But, it is totally manageable with a certain diet...and would explain how I have been feeling.

I have had a few almost passing out episodes. Three times at the gym and about two or three times just running errands. This was after eating, too, which struck me as odd. With P I almost passed out a couple of times but I hadn't eaten anything, which totally made sense. The last time it happened I had just rode the bike for 30 minutes - seriously nothing major. As soon as I got up and walked around a bit I knew I was about to pass out. I went downstairs and drank an OJ. I waited for about 20 minutes before I could even stand. I was so scared about getting P and driving home, just hoping I would be okay behind the wheel. That time it really scared me because it was worse than the few times before. Lately, too, I have just been feeling ill. Even if I don't have it I am going to change my diet. Whatever I am doing I am not doing justice to my body. I think that means cutting my sugar and carb intake down.

My cousin had gd. She said that the test is a little over three hours. You have to drink a heavier dosage of glucola after fasting for 12 hours, take a blood test an hour later, drink another glucola, take another blood test after an hour and then drink a ThIRD glucola and get blood drawn again. She said try not to throw up after the second because you'll have to retake the test another time. Ugh. Hubby took work off in the morning to watch P. I really need to make this a one shot deal. Just thinking about drinking that much of that orange crap churns my stomach. Oh well - thousands of women have done it and survived it.

Sick

P is sick. It really bums me out because I had lots of plans for today. We are still going to our cousin's Halloween party tonight. I am keeping her in all day so that hopefully she'll enjoy it without sneezing and hacking the whole time. I have a really warm costume for her when she goes trick-or-treating for the first time. Hopefully I'll get some great pictures.

It is really difficult to get the pictures I want and watch my child. I am always the one who takes the pics because hubby won't step up. I even got him a camcorder and he won't use it because it isn't digital. It is brand spanking new. I think I'll just sell it and use the money for a spa day and a new coat. haha! I think I am going to ask for a smaller camera for Christmas so I can carry it around with me. The camera we have now is terrific, but it is heavy to carry around in my purse and I don't want to keep it in the car where it could get stolen.

I am a little photo obsessed. I have over 6,000 photos of P since she was born. I back everything up on DVD so I don't lose it, and I am behind in doing that. I just can't do everything I need to get done and watch P. I can't imagine how much harder it is going to be when I have two. I am guessing I won't get much done. My house will be messier than it is now. oh goody. It is probably time for a maid.

New Baby Name?

I am having a terrible time even thinking of a boy's name for baby #2. Today I decided to get out a book I have that lists a ton of names, origins and meanings of the names.

As I was coming down the stairs I asked P what she wanted to name the new baby and she responded:

Baby Monster

I thought that was hysterical and had to document it.

Toddler bed vs. Twin mattress

My newest dilemma is how to go about switching P from her crib to a toddler bed or twin bed. I have read mixed reviews about one vs. the other and am trying to figure what I should do. I also need to figure out when to move her.

The new baby is due in January and experts say not to move a baby during or right before a "tramatic" event like a new baby or moving or something along those lines. I think it would be tough during the holidays, too, when there is much going on. She is fine in her crib for now. She doesn't try to climb out, she actually likes to play in it and still has plenty of room. That is part of the reason I am considering a toddler bed. If she has plenty of leg room then why buy a bigger bed that would be totally unfamiliar territory. Plus the window for moving is from 18 months to 3 years, so I think I have plenty of time. She will be just turning 18 months on November 1.

Toddler beds take crib mattresses, which I think she would fit on until she is a few years older. I also think a bed that has sides built in will help make the transition easier because it will still kind of feel like a crib - just lower to the ground and freedom to get out. And, that is another concern. Once they switch to a bed they have the freedom to roam around their room or house. I definitely will need to get a gate because I can't shut her door. It is a "thing" for me to shut the door. I wouldn't be able to hear her and it would freak me out. A monitor is fine, but nothing like being able to sneak in to take a peek at my sleeping baby. She sleeps with the door shut for naptime, but that is only because so many trains go by during the day and shutting the door helps kill the noise.

On another note, I had my first glucose test yesterday. I am not sure how long it will take to get results back - probably by the end of the week. I am pretty sure I am fine, but unlike P, I felt pretty sick after drinking the stuff. It put me in a really bad mood, too. I am sure that is just lack of sleep, but you never know. Part of it could be that my nurse had to poke me three times to draw blood. My vein kept moving and then when she did get it the blood just trickled out. My arms are pretty sore today, which never happens.

Staying home

Last night I was telling hubby about Miss P and I's day. He commented on the fact that he was so happy I was staying home with her because I got to really get to know her and be there to keep her feeling safe, loved and understood...basically. He said that there is no way he knows her as well as I do and that sometimes it makes him a little envious. I totally understand that and try to help him along when he needs it. For instance, what she wants. I can pretty much understand when she asks for something and what she wants. Hubby has no clue, generally, and luckily I can help him decode what she is saying.

I feel incredibly lucky to be able to stay home with my darling daughter and son-to-be. Actually, I couldn't imagine going to work and leaving her everyday. It would really rip me apart and I think I'd be an emotional wreck. Jeez, leaving her at the gym for an hour in the playroom breaks my heart - and she LOVES it. Seeing her okay makes me okay, though. I don't plan on staying home forever, and am glad I have a plan for a teaching career. I couldn't imagine going back to work in PR, unless it is just a freelance gig, but going to be a teacher is exciting...plus the hours will be great in regards to having kids.

Halloween Party

"Peyton" threw a Halloween party for all of her friends this passed Sunday. The weather was perfect and we were able to do everything outside, which was really nice. All of us agreed we need to take advantage of the days we have left before it gets dreadfully cold.

My mom helped me get ready for the party. Since she is a first grade teacher she helped create all the games, and they went over really well...even with the children two and under sans two girls. I read the book "Go Away Big Green Monster" and then we played pin the mouth on the monster. Mom and I bought posterboard and drew the monster without a mouth. Each kid then got their own mouth to put on the face - of course, the only child that got the mouth right was 4. The rest really didn't get the concept, but it was cute helping them out and seeing what they did with the mouth. Most of them put it in their own mouth. We also played toss the bean bag in the bucket, but only a couple of kids did it because the rest were more interested in sticks or food. Some of them made little pumpkin heads out of Foameez and some of them were only interested in playing.

My girl happened to love to take away her cousin's lollipop and proceed to finish it off. By the end she was covered in sugary goo and random grass and dirt particles.

I had the place decorated in a kid-friendly way...meaning nothing breakable or within reach that I didn't want destroyed, nothing too scary that would make the children upset and stayed away from things that were just crappy Halloween decorations for the heck of it (streamers, balloons, cheesy lights, etc.).

I was a kitty cat and still scared P. She wouldn't come to me pretty much the whole party because the poorly painted on whiskers made her uncomfortable. I felt absolutely huge and really want to take advantage of all the candy that is left, but I know it will just go to the baby and my thighs, so I have to resist temptation.

My baby

I was at the gym today and almost started crying. I think I am just having an emotional day. The new song by Pink (can't remember the title) got me thinking about growing up and about how my mom stopped holding me years ago...and how I am not ready to give up carrying Miss P around or holding her and kissing her little face.

Thinking about having another baby that will interfere with the time I spend with Miss P is breaking my heart. I hear that you love the second one just as much as the first one, but at this point I can't see how that is possible. I just don't have the same feelings about having this baby as I did when I was pregnant with P. Everyone assures me it is normal and when he arrives I'll be just as in love with him as I was/am with P. Part of it is that it is a boy and I don't know how to connect with a boy since I have a girl. I have also heard that you end up expecting much more out of the oldest child since they will seem so much older to you. I can't imagine that to be true, either....I mean, P won't even be 2 years old!!

Hopefully this child will be a good baby and easily fit into our lives. I hope he doesn't end up taking a ton of time because of being a needy baby and P loses out. I also hope that hubby really steps up and doesn't do things with/for the baby or P just when I ask or just when he feels like it.

Update to Halloween Party

So, I think it is quite funny that not one of my family members is coming to P's Halloween party (and noone showed up to a cookout I had on Labor Day...but decided last minute to have all the family over to my aunt's house...hmmmm). My mom was supposed to help me at the party, but now she tells me that she and my dad have a Corvette thing to do...as usual. Luckily, I have a couple of friends and hubby will be here to help. I know that the kids' moms/dads will be here, but I really wanted to have help with structure and keeping things in line. I get so side-tracked, and really wanted to focus on P having a good time. Oh well - I am sure it will be fun and I am looking forward to it.

At least my mom babysits a lot for us - I should just be thankful for that.

Naptime at my house

If, and that can be a big IF, P falls asleep when I rock her she sleeps for a couple of hours and all is peaceful. If, and this is another big IF, we are out and about and she falls asleep in the car I can get her into her crib and she'll sleep for a few hours. But, if she has a day when she doesn't want to nap...well, it can be an event.

Today was a non-napping day. She is currently in her nursery crying her little eyes out and it is breaking my heart. It all starts right before lunch:

12:15: Elmo's World
12:30: turn off Elmo and put into high chair, whines a bit because she still wants to see Elmo. obviously getting tired
1:15: finish lunch, clean up, P plays
1:30-1:45: mommy tells P we are going up for a nap. We play a little longer and she obviously is fighting going up for a nap. She now objects when I say "naptime" with a little whine and a face that says "no, please, not really now?!"
1:30ish - 1:50: go upstairs to rocker and read 3 - 4 books
Mommy says it is naptime
1:50: P plays with mommy's hair, earrings, teeth
Mommy says it is naptime
2:00: claps and yells for the dogs, throw arms in air like riding a rollercoaster and squeals. Mommy says it is naptime
2:10 - 2:15: lays head on mommy's shoulder - could this be the sleep rolling in?!!!!
2:15: laughs, lifts head, says hello to the pictures, claps for dogs
Mommy says it is naptime
2:20: mommy leaves the room and she cries and cries
2:23: mommy comes back in and says it is naptime, but gets sucked into rocking for a bit longer
2:30: mommy puts baby back in crib and just lets her cry
Mommy says nigh, nigh and it is naptime
3:00: still crying

Now, why do I keep listening? I don't know - it makes me eat chocolate...well, the baby craves the chocolate, but I emotionally eat, so hearing her cry and being stressed about all I have do lately makes me eat chocolate even when I am just cravng it.

Fall

Fall is so much fun. It is finally getting cooler here in the midwest. Those 90 degree October days were really getting on my nerves...mostly because I am so uncomfortable being really hot while being pregnant. I am not the type to wear shorts and tanks while I feel big and fat, and jeans aren't that cool. So, needless to write, I am super excited for some cooler air.

There is also so much to do. We can still play outside, go on walks and go to the variety of events around the city without sweating our butts off. We went to an apple orchard, my mommies group is going to a farm for a hayride and pumpkin picking, Boo at the Zoo is coming up and I volunteered to help tour guide a ghost walk. I am having a Halloween party for Peyton and her friends and family. It should be fun.

My mom is dressing up and really helping me out at the party. She is going to be telling stories and singing songs, helping with games and all that fun stuff. I am excited because I love Halloween and can't wait to get P dressed up. She is going to be so cute.

Big Lots

I can't believe it, but Big Lots has the best deals on things like baby toys, water, other types of mineral and fruit water, cleaning sponges, and nice decorations and wrapping paper for the holidays. Those are things I hate to pay huge amounts of money for, and since Big Lots is a closeout store the prices are low. They actually have some name brand items, too...and for a fraction of the cost you'd pay in the grocery or other places. I even got some Halloween candy there for SUPER cheap - and not the noname candy, but Hersheys, Tootsies, Double Bubble...

I would think if Miss P was off to college I could find some great things there for her dorm room. They have all these cheap kitchen appliances, furniture and back to school supplies during the later summer/fall.

My sis-in-law even mentioned she would shop there for Annie's toys. I mean seriously, why pay Toys R Us prices? Insane for toys the kids don't even really care about for more than two seconds.

This is a coupon for all of my buddies - 20% off for this week....ONLY!!
http://www.biglots.com/Coupon/BuzzclubCoupon.aspx

My mom would kill me...

...if I didn't get this written down, and I would be very upset with myself years down the road. My Latin teacher always told us to write notes on pics because you won't remember the moment, and that is so true for me. I remember my trip to Italy. I thought I'd NEVER forget any picture I took, but even a year after the trip I had trouble remembering the where's and who's. Now so many years after that trip, I am so happy I did notate some of the pictures because I'd NEVER remember..especially after mommy brain took over.

Now, why I logged on. Miss P is doing so many wonderful things I don't even know where to begin. To see her grow and change by the minute is simply fascinating, and incredibly entertaining. My mother keeps asking me if I write "these things down" and I always assure I am, and I now I really am! :)

The current list at 17 months old and counting:

• She is walking, even running at times.
• She climbs on things low enough that hoisting herself up by one leg won't make her fall.
• She talks constantly, and much of it I actually understand.
• She pulls the dogs hair and hits them and just laughs.
• She has a great memory. For instance, today I told her that the bear was all clean and in the dryer. We had stayed at my mom's house to watch the dogs, and I brought her dirty bear with me to get a nice soak. The next day I told her that the bear was waiting for her in the dryer and that we should go get it out. She led me straight into the laundry room and pointed to the dryer. This happens all the time - I tell her once and she remembers. I tend to quiz her and get all excited when she gets the answer correct.
• She loves to be rocked to sleep at night. She loves to just mess around at naptime and tends to be put to bed and cries for at least 15 minutes. That breaks my heart, especially since the things she is doing before naptime when I am trying to rock her are so cute. Then I make her cry.
  
• She eats pretty much everything. She is not the biggest fan of fruit and veges unless you feed them to her. She will rarely eat them in their own state - they have to be in her yogurt or put through the food mill. At least she eats them, though, so really I shouldn't complain...and for crying out loud, she isn't even a year and a half, yet.
• She loves peek-a-boo, playing with puzzles (the wooden ones), music class, and storytime at the library.
• She loves the water but isn't a huge fan of her swim class.
• She loves her shoes.
• She loves when mommy holds her but play alone quite nicely, too.

As far as her talking, she says:

• She says "Hi" to everything and sometimes waves with it. It is cute when she is saying "Hi" to the bugs.
• Morning daddy
• boon (for spoon)
• Hi guys (when she sees the dogs)
• Asks to see Ohhwee and Piper (Loki and Piper)
• Asks to see Coco and Phi (Coco and Phoebe)
• Asks to see Papa and Ran ran (Grandma and Grandpa)
• Refers to all children as baby
• Talks about brushing her teeth, eating breakfast, Daddy taking a bath, mommy's teeth, playing the piano at Grandma's house, walking, and many other things.

She is a really good little baby and listens really well to mommy. Sometimes she knows she shouldn't do something and when I tell her to stop she just laughs. She thinks it is funny when I chase after her.

Mother of the Year 2007

Some of my nominations have been pulled for the Mother of the Year 2007...and if anyone gets offended I'd like to apologize right up front. But, I hope you know it is just in good fun.

1st nomination: Denise
Why: She bought a leash for her one-year-old and lets her play with pencils and eat dirt.

2nd nomination: Mary
Why: She feeds her one-year-old chicken sausage everyday and lets him play with kids at school that are twice his age.

3rd nomination: Candyce
Why: from what I understand her children aren't as "disciplined" as they should be because mommy lets them explore. Explore for a child? For shame

4th nomination: Nedi
Why: she actually had the nerve to put her child in a wonderful daycare while she went back to work. Moms working? What the heck, aren't we all supposed to stay locked up in the house doing laundry and changing diapers?

5th nomination: Corinna
Why: she actually needs a walk when hubby gets home after spending all day with a 2 and 1/2 year old and a 5 month old. A mommy shouldn't have to need a break!

6th nomination: Susan
Why: she just watched as her one-year-old took a tumble because she lost footing. She didn't use her super powers to grab the baby before she hit the floor. What the heck? Babies are supposed to be in our arms at all times or watched 24/7 with an eagle eye.

7th nomination: me
Why: my child ate a WHOLE grape on a toothpick at Whole Foods and fell down the stairs twice in a month.

I guess Mommy of the Year 2007 will just have to go to someone I don't even know, because all of the mommies I know have blundered....at least once this year. shame on us.\

Keeping baby safe

It is so hard to keep a constant eye on P. She is so fast and sometimes she gets around a corner and falls before I even have a chance to run after her. Then it breaks my heart to think my baby has a hurt knee or bumped her head. I guess that is part of being a parent - taking the hard knocks with your kids, just in an "emotional" way.

I want her to explore and learn about her surroundings and her limitations, but sometimes it seems like a terrible idea because that means letting go. It also means keeping constant watch on her. I am trying to figure out how to manage making dinner or cleaning with her running around. I don't know how people do it. I have her blocked off from the stairs and she really only has the living room and kitchen to run around in, but I can't see her in the living room if I am in the kitchen. I don't like that. So, lately I have been "Tivoing" Sesame Street and showing it to her when I am cooking, but that opens the whole TV argument in my household. I really don't like her watching any TV since she is only a year and half. When she watches Sesame Street she is glued to it, and it scares me to think I am raising her to be a boob tube junkie.

It is horrible when I take her shopping with me. I tried to go to a craft store to get stuff for a Halloween party I am having and did nothing but chase after her and tell her "No touch." She definitely needs to be left at home when I am trying to get things done - unless I can put her in a cart. Maybe I just stick her in her stroller when I go places - but then she cries and cries. It is kind of funny to think these are my obstacles right now.

Books

I hope my child's love of books continues through school and life. She just loves them. It is wonderful for me to watch because I love books, too, and I love to read to her. The funny thing is that since she is so little she likes to read the same books over and over again. I have heard that toddlers like to do that, but whew - it is seriously true. She loves Go Dog Go, and Old Macdonald farm book we have, another farm book that has peek-a-boo animals and of course, Miss Spider. She also loves any peek-a-boo book, Dora books, numbers books and books that show pictures of real things. I spoke with my local librarian and she suggested non-fiction books about animals. Many of the books have short sentences similar to how board books are written.

The passed few nights she has even fallen asleep with a book in her arms like a lovie. I tried to take it away but she'd wake up crying for it. So, I just let her go to bed with the book. The next morning I have no idea when she woke up because I just heard her "reading" in her crib. Whenever I have her come upstairs with me she heads straight for her room and sits down with her books. She pulls them all out so they are surrounding her and she just goes from picture to picture, book to book.

At storytime yesterday a mother commented on how attentive P was while the librarian read her a book. She asked her age and couldn't believe it. She said her child just runs around like crazy with no focus - I said, well, that is what we did this morning, she must just be tired out! haha.

Dogs

I cannot believe the news I have heard about dogs biting or attacking children. My sis-in-law shared this story: http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070913/NEWS06/709130386/1001/NEWS

It is frightening that a dog can attack without warning - even if it was a loving, wonderful pet that never hurt a fly and then suddenly decides to attack. It scares me because I go walking with P and let her play on the kid's gym at the park. At that particular park many people do not leash their dogs because they let them run with them or let them play in the creek. One time a big lab came right up to the stroller and kept licking P in the face. I couldn't get to the dog quick enough to stop it (and I was RIGHT behind the stroller)...what if that was a dog that wanted to bite her? I wouldn't not have been quick enough to stop the dog. And, they say dogs always go for kids' heads and faces first. I laughed because P laughed and the dog was just licking her, but after I thought about it I was kind of angry because that dog should have been leashed. I mean, I don't let my kid run around and hit those people's dogs and throw toys at them? Why should they let their dog come right up to my child and lick her or God forbid, bite her?

My two dogs (miniature schnauzers) were not friendly towards P at all when she was a little baby, and now that she is a toddler they are better. I basically trained them to know that P was their boss just like I am their boss. Even if she is playing in her babyway they have to deal with it. I do not even tolerate a small growl. And, I am not opposed to smacking my dogs if they are out of line. Some people think that is awful, but I don't really care. Would you rather have my dog bite your kid or me to smack them when they are doing something really bad?

I am calling my city office today to complain about the dog and leash law. I am pretty sure in my state that all dogs need to be on leashes. There is a dog park not far from here where people can let their dogs run off leash and run wild with other dogs. I don't even think it costs money. So, if someone is hell bent on letting their dog play off leash they can take them there. I never walk my dogs off leash just for the mere thought of them hurting someone because they are just being dogs...and they are not even a foot tall.

Music!

P's music lessons have started again. They took a hiatus in August until September 10, and we really missed going! P has so much fun and I think she is learning many new things that I could have never taught her at home.

It is funny. Everytime I tell people my 16 month old is in music class they immediately respond with, "what do they do, pluck the violin or something?" or some silly comment like that. Actually, they are playing Mozart on the baby piano and singing Faust's opera all while dancing a small rendition of Swan Lake. Okay, okay, so I get a little tired of that comment. Really, though, it a great thing for babies/children.

The class size is about 20 mothers and their children. We sing songs, play bouncing games, do movement activities and they get to play with instruments like bells and shaky eggs. It is a terrific way to get them to learn rythm, rhyming, sounds, letters, and understand the difference between walking, running and going in circles vs. just dancing around feeling the music. I love it, and P really loves it.

After class the music teacher always gives them what she refers to as "La-Las." A La-La is a stamp with musical notes that she puts on the back of each of their tiny hands. P refers to her La-La the rest of the day. So cute. Anyhow, Friday the teacher told me that P makes her day. She said she just brightens up her whole morning because when she looks at her P is always making a cute face or interacting with her as she teaches. The teacher said she just adores her. It was a very proud moment for me. I was so tickled she recognized my darling P out of all the other children. It made MY whole day...well, my whole weekend. :)

Am I teaching my kid "drinking" lessons?

Today I realized I am teaching P how to be a master drinker...I guess all those years of shooting random purple hooters and tequila have trained me to put everything in "college drinking context." haha.

I was giving my darling P her vitamins and she really hates the taste, so I have been telling her to "chase" them with her milk. I was just now aware that perhaps I should phrase that a little better. I would hate for her to go to school and tell her friends she "chases her peas with a cold one" or "I shoot my apple juice." ugh.

Handing my daughter her sippy as a chaser is just a little too...weird...even for me.

A sense of timing?

I often wonder if my darling P has the perfect sense of timing or if it is a coincidence. It seems as if everytime I am in a situation where it is next to impossible for me to lean over and pick something up, that is the time when the sippy cup is thrown, the lovie falls to the ground, the snack is cried for or she lets the dog out the front door to run into the street. It is almost comical at times.

For instance, today I have all of our things gathered to go to storytime: my purse, her sippy, a snack for after, overdue books and my child in my arms. I am ready to get out the door and realize the diaper needs changed. Can't have a baby in a stinky diaper and even fathom changing a toddler's poopy pants in the library....ewe. So, she is changed, all the things gathered up and now we are just going to make it. I am getting everything situated in my arms to unlock the door and the sippy gets thrown across the room. Of course, if I don't get it she will cry for it and then want a drink keeping us from running errands after storytime. So, I put some things down and go pick up the sippy. Get everything gathered - again - and open the door and darn it if the car seat isn't sitting on the front porch. I put the seat in my mom's car last night while she watched her. I forgot to put it back in after class.

So, I have to put everything down again. Make sure P doesn't run for the road and proceed to quickly, yet safely, put the seat in the car. Finally, I think, I am off. Put the books in the car, purse in the car, seat in the car, chase down child and put her in the seat and remember I forgot my cell phone. Luckily, all I had to do was take the keys out of the ignition, run inside and take the phone off the charger. I prefer to keep the phone with me when I am driving places in case something happens....especially with a baby in the car.

Now, we are off to storytime. It was only 10am and I was ready for a nap.

Spinach for breakfast?

Well, heck yes, spinach for breakfast. Just as long as you can't taste it. Thanks to The Sneaky Chef cookbook Miss P has eaten spinach for breakfast for two days in a row...and doesn't even know it! Plus, I get a vege in so I don't have to stress about it for lunch.

This cookbook has really been a lifesaver. Miss P is still only eating pureed or milled veges; she will not eat little pieces. I have a babyfood mill by Kidco, but it only does individual servings. I wanted to come up with some of way of making batch veges that could go in just about anything or be eaten alone. The Sneaky Chef gives great ideas and offers great, healthy recipes. I have a whole tray of carrots and sweet potatoes in the freezer that are ready to spread on grilled cheese, add to meatloaf, to spaghetti sauce, etc. There are a variety of purees that you can even add to brownies (store-bought mix or from scratch). She teaches you how to make strawberry and blueberry juice to add to milk (for kids who are little bit older I would assume-I don't add ANYTHING to P's milk right now. I have a friend who added Quick to her baby's milk to get her to drink it and it ended up giving the child eight cavities by the time she was 2!), jello or oatmeal.

I may be a bit fanatical when it comes to my kid's diet, but I DO not want her to be one of those obese teens. I was heavy in middle-school and my life was hell - I will do everything in my power so my child doesn't have to experience it. I really think my life would be different if I didn't have those horrible childhood teasings and learned to make good food choices on my own. Hopefully, what I am doing will pay off in the end. I try to eat well, too, so I am an example. And I just pray there aren't low-rise jeans and mid-drif shirts as the fashion for teen girls....oh jeez...one more thing to worry about....

Who knew the zoo....

The zoo is so relaxing...well, not the actual zoo, but hubby taking Miss P to the zoo so I can have the day to myself is quite restful. Although, I have to admit, I am rather nervous about hubby taking off with his friend and his girls for a full day outing. I prepared him as much as possible and the rest is out of my hands. Everytime the phone rings I get really anxious thinking it is him with some horrible story of how an elephant got loose and trampled my darling P in her stroller or how a flamingo bit off her right toe. I need to just calm down and know that I have to trust in daddy and his instincts to take good care of our daughter.

I couldn't imagine going off to work and leaving her in his hands all day. How do women do it? I would be a total stresscase, I am sure, for a very long time until hubby proved he could manage on his own. I guess that is the nature of being overly protective and a bit controlling on my part.

My day is pretty full. I actually got the floors swept and mopped, laundry done, a shower and some long overdue photos of P up on Flickr in less than two hours. As soon as I finish up here I am off to the library to get some studying done. I absolutely need to send in some of my assignments for my independent study classes. I am pretty sure the professors have no idea I exist at this point in time...or think I dropped. Being sick with baby #2 earlier this summer put me extremely behind on schoolwork. Oh well, it'll get done. I just need time to focus, which today the zoo allowed me to do.

Too Hard on Myself

I think I am too hard on myself when it comes to being a mommy. It isn't like I am trying to prove something or send in my application for "Mother of the Year," but I find that if I take a little time for myself, let her cry for more than 15 minutes to go to sleep or skip her vege at lunch I am not doing my job. I carry a huge amount of stress and guilt around with me much of the day. Now, some of this could be hormones because of being pregnant for baby #2, but I can't blame all of it on that.

I think part of it is that she is getting older and much more able to play by herself, and many times prefers to play alone. Maybe I am the one having a hard time with it and she could care less. Motherhood is a lot harder to figure out than what kind of spin to put on a PR story and all the project planning and follow-up put together. It is amazing how EASY my 8-5 job was compared to bringing up baby.

It is quite encouraging to have the friends and family I have who did/do stay home with their children. They have great advice to share and make for good company who is understanding of the fact that I have to leave when it is naptime. I also love the fact that each of them has their own goals and amibitions, and a life before baby. It would be really hard if all I was surrounded by was early 20- somethings who just graduated from college and got married and pregnant.

Oh well - just trying to get through this little depression I am going through right now that I am sure is hormone-induced.

Dog Food

I made the mistake of leaving the dog food and water down after P ate her breakfast. I currently have two very happy dogs eating their food off the floor and a very happy child throwing it all over the kitchen. I don't mind the food as much as the water. When she dumps the water she and the floor need completely cleaned up, which takes about half an hour. Everything takes about half an hour to an hour these days. haha!

Now she has decided that throwing the dog food down the stairs into the basement is fun. I am going to have to stop that. She has started carrying a plastic boon (translation: spoon) around with her. I guess that is to eat the dog food she spread all over the place.

Mama's girl

Miss P is still screaming in her crib right now when she is supposed to be sleeping. We have been going through this for a week now during naps and when she is supposed to go to bed for the night. We read a few books and then rock - the ritual takes 45 minutes to one hour sometimes. It is getting crazy.

She will be fast asleep and as soon as I lay her down in her crib she wakes up and starts screaming. Then I let her scream until I can't take it anymore and I get her and rock her again. She falls fast asleep when I rock her, and then when I go to let her down she starts screaming again. Currently, she is beside herself and has been screaming for 15 minutes. It is so hard as her mom to hear her cry without going to her, but I have to let her cry and go to sleep.

For one, today she is exhausted. She needs a nap. Two, I have to finish my reading for class tonight - and I am so exhausted that if I wasn't reading I'd need a nap, too.

I guess I just have to play hardball and let her keep crying until she falls asleep. She at least will have to stay in her crib until I get my reading finished for class- her naptime is the only time I get to myself.

It is a BOY!

We went for our ultrasound today and found out we were going to have a little boy. What am I going to do with a boy?!

At first, the doctor thought it was a girl. But, as he measured the baby moved and the doctor caught an angle that made it very obvious it was not a girl. When he said it was a girl I was so happy because I really wanted a sister for P...of course, I would have been happy for a boy, too. Hubby was happy it was a girl for me, but when he saw that it was a boy he got really choked up and teared up a bit. It was really cool to see him that overwhelmed with joy. Hubby's first comment was that now he had someone to play videogames with....uhmmm...not sure how I feel about that.

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed but after giving it some thought I am very excited. Part of it is that I haven't even met this little soul, yet, so I don't have a connection with him. I definitely love him already because he is growing inside me and I can feel him move around. He is a mover and a shaker - I love that he makes his presence known all the time.

My friend is pulling together clothes from her little boy to send up. Thankfully, I have a friend who has boy's clothes I can use/have to get me through his first few months. I have been very fortunate with P because my cousin has two girls and has let me borrow a ton of clothes for her.

Well, I am looking forward to decorating a nursery for a boy and to think of boy names. It should be a lot of fun. I am especially excited for P to have a baby brother on the way. We are such a lucky family. I thank God everyday for the my family and the love we have for each other.

Posting twice today

I just read that only 5% of babies are born on their due date (www.americanpregnancy.org). P was born at 1:17am on May 1...her due date. What a special girl. :)

So excited!

Tomorrow morning I go in for my 2nd ultrasound (actually my 3rd because I got a 2nd one "on the house"). I am going to find out what the sex of the baby is and can barely wait. I have been feeling him/her moving away in there all week. It is so cool. I don't remember P moving this much, but then again I probably didn't know what to feel or thought it was gas.

Almost everyone is betting on a boy, but that is what everyone said last time and we now have Miss P. I am hoping for a girl and am really feeling like it is a girl...but, we shall see! I really want P to have a sister.

Started Class

I just started my Tuesday night class, which means I am gone from 5:30p to 9p every Tuesday until Dec. 4. My mom is watching Miss P until hubby gets home from work. P is crazy about her Grandma and goes so far as to push me away when Grandma is holding her. It is quite humerous and reminds me of my relationship with my Grandma when I was little. My Grandma was the light of my life and my best friend. She was funny, fun, loving, caring, easy going and most of all gave me tons of attention. It was great.

Anyhoo....I called hubby on my break to see if he had eaten dinner and to let him know that I was indeed going to be in class until 8:40p that evening. Then I called again when I was leaving to see if he had put P to bed or was in the process of doing it. He told me that she was waiting for me to come home. I guess she kept saying Mommy and looking around for me - out the window and everything! I thought it was funny, and unbelievable that her little mind was processing the need to wait for me, but then I realized how difficult she can be when she gets beside herself and felt bad for her and hubby. Of course, secretly it made me super happy to know she wanted me.

When I got home and walked up the driveway I caught her eye through the window. I could see her marching in place with a big smile saying Mommy, Mommy. It was the cutest thing! She ran up to me with a huge smile on her face and arms in the air for me to pick her up. What a greeting. How lucky can I be?

I can see!

I haven't figured out if she likes it or not, but Miss P's carseat got change to forward-facing this passed weekend. It makes me so sad, but I knew it was time. Everything I read said that babies need to be 20 pounds and one year old. Well, she is over one and still not 20 pounds. I spoke with my pediatrician and he said that it is not so much the weight that is concerning, it is the head control. So, technically, I could have changed her around months ago.

This is just one more step my baby is taking towards growing up...and darn if it doesn't happen fast. I mean in less than 15 months she more than doubled her height and weight, she is feeding herself, she went from scooting to walking to running, she says actual words instead of just crying and she does funny things to get a reaction. That is a TON of things to accomplish is less than a year and a half if you ask me. I mean, I didn't even get my first real promotion at work until I was there two years...and I was by no means doing something as important at learning how to talk or walk.

She is really great at playing by herself. I am very happy about this because with baby #2 coming I won't have the one-on-one time for her like I do now. I really need to take advantage of this time; however, I do not want her to get "mommy-play-hooked" and have to depend on me for her entertainment. That would be not be a good thing. Yesterday I took her to the babysitting play area at our recreation center so I could work out. I was worried she would freak out with me leaving her and being in a new place. Quite the contrary, she seemed to really like it. When I picked her up she was off by herself exploring the vast amounts of toys they provide for the kids. The other three children were screaming and crying for mommy...not my girl. She liked her independence...similar to her mommy I suppose....

Never thought...

Okay, so, would you ever think that someone taking spaghetti smearing it all over the table, throwing it and then mushing into their own hair and all over their face would be cute? Generally, I would have to give that a big thumbs down. However, when I gave Miss P her pasta dinner that is just what she did, darn if I didn't beam with smiles and laughs. So cute that I even have to share it here and so cute that I had to take her picture.

Shoes

So, I am breaking down and buying a pair of Stride Rites. I went to my community center today and I have to have hard-soled shoes on Miss P to leave her in the playroom, so I figured I guess it is time to make the small investment in my child's feet. Now, I totally trust my pediatrician and really prefer the little moccasin-type shoes like Jack and Jill and Robeez, but they do not offer that protection if baby is walking on rocks or little toys that happen to be in their way.

I went to Stride Rite and had her fitted. It was hard finding a pair I really liked because they were all too cute, so P made the decision for me. She actually looked at a pair I hadn't even considered and made the mmm.mmm..mmm sound she makes when she wants me to hand her something. Out of all the shoes there that particular pair caught her eye and she didn't want to give the display shoe back to me. So, those are the ones we chose. The girl knows what she wants, what can I say. I went up to pay and forgot my wallet and had to put them on hold. I plan to get them today. They are super cute - a light maroon-type pink with flowers on the eyeholes. They should go with everything, even red.

I am really happy with the decision to go to Stride Rite because they knew how to measure her, how to watch her walk in them and gave me pointers on when she should wear them and when to watch for when she needs a bigger size. I would never have been able to do that on my own with this first child. Now, #2 will probably just get hand-me-downs.....hopefully...if it is another girl. Pray for me! hahah!

What do you feed a one year old?

Oh, the most perplexing question I have asked myself in ages. I have never spent so much time trying to think through breakfast, lunch and dinner meals than I do when trying to figure out what to fix my pint sized human. My daughter is really good about eating anything, except now she turns her nose up to vegetables...adding more stress to my already bulging head. What do I do? I asked my pediatrician. He said - oh just add them to stews, sauces - just hide in them in what you fix her.

Well, I don't exactly fix her stews and as far as sauces, should I be mixing up a fresh spaghetti sauce or gravy for each meal? This may sound simple to many people, but I am no cook, and what I do cook is pretty simple. So, I just I'll just have to go with my gut instinct...or buy the book: The Sneaky Chef. I'll just use her ideas since they seem to work for her children.

All in all, though, I think I do pretty good feeding her. I do, however, want more variety in her little diet. She gets the food pyramid each day if I can help it, and eats really well. I just want her to start eating her vegetables without having to be coaxed.

Busy, busy

When my family and friends said that toddlers are busy and I'd have my hands full I didn't really believe them. I thought that P was a pretty relaxed, laid back child....well, I was certainly wrong. I cannot keep up with her! Doing the dishes or even typing a simple email is a chore.

She is into the dog bowls dumping water all over herself (poor dogs, I can only put their dishes down when she is napping or when she goes to bed), getting into the dog food bin and throwing food all over the kitchen, digging through the trash and playing with banana peels (GROSS!), tossing the remote across the room to our brand new HDTV, trying to get the gate down to climb the stairs, going through papers or mail and ripping it apart, getting ahold of my keys and hiding while hitting the panic button so the horn goes off endlessly, calling people on my cell or logging onto the internet costing us extra money each month, going through my purse and pulling everything out - whew! and the list can go on. Now, I am sure if anyone reads this they will think, "well, why don't you watch your child?" The thing is, I AM watching her all the time, and she still gets away with all of this!!! I will literally run upstairs to pee for 2 minutes and come down to what looks like a tornado hit the house or the dogs eating who knows what.

As I write this I am laughing because I really don't mind the mess or the cleaning it up. It is actually pretty funny to see what she will get into next. She likes to chase the dogs around with things that scare them and watch them run and bark at her. It is quite amusing. Luckily, the dogs are small and they can't really hurt anything when they get all wound up. P comes over to inform me of how she is teasing the dogs and thinks she is so cute doing it.

I am looking forward to after I have the baby so I more energy to keep up with her and play with her. By then, though, I'll have two to keep up with and will have to really suck up being tired. Sounds like fun to me! ...probably torture to others. Gotta run, she's up the stairs!

Trying to get it together

Now that I am feeling better, I want to cram all the summer activities I missed throughout June and July. Summer is coming to an end and although we have done some fun things, I feel like I have missed out on going to the pool and other summer activities because I was laying on the couch the first half of summer. I'll tell ya, having babies certainly cuts your social life in half....well, let's be realisic, your social life is pretty limited. I have been comfortable taking P just about anywhere, but there are only so many "adult" things you can do with a baby. For instance, my favorite pub - yeah, found out that it isn't really kid- friendly. BUMMER!!

Now, writing that, I also have to write that I wouldn't change it for the world. My little P is my precious angel who makes me smile all the time. I don't know anything or anyone else who can do that. She is walking now and jabbering more and more. She knows the names of many animals and has her favorite books memorized. She loves books. We go to the library all the time to freshen her collection.

She is a little blondie with blue eyes. We still can't figure out where the blonde hair came from. Hubby keeps saying it's the mailman, but we have a mail lady so his guess is wrong. I am excited to meet the new addition and see what differences and similarities he/she has with P.

Can family really brighten your life?

Sometimes I wonder about that question because so many people have issues with their family members. Of course, as the old saying goes: "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family." I believe that is telling us that we hang out with the people we choose to hang out with rather than people we are obliged to hang out with...hence, family members.

I think that is a little rough. But, I think part of it is that you are supposed to just accept the people who are your family whether you like it or not. That really isn't very fair, but it is the way it is. The great thing is that these people who may get under your skin or irritate the heck out of you would do anything in the world for you. Kind of strange, huh? I have friends who I just tolerate, so I don't really hang out with them. I have some family I just tolerate and I see them often.

Luckily, I pretty much like everyone in my family. They are all very loving people who think a lot of my husband, child and me. We don't really have any awful people in the horde - just some who make some dumb choices.

On a lighter note - my darling P is walking. She is my little explorer getting into everything she can. Currently, she is stuck behind the chair crying her eyes out for a little help. I better run before she hurts herself.

Morning Sickness

I haven't written in a while because I have been really sick with this pregnancy. I am starting to feel a TON better! whoo hoo. I can actually eat and not think about how I want to spend the next 20 minutes in the bathroom getting rid of it or laying on the couch the rest of the night dreading the fact that food makes me totally sick, but it is the only thing that also makes me feel better. Kind of strange, huh? I could barely go into the grocery store much less make myself a sandwich, but eating was the way I would actually get rid of the nausea feeling.

I am so sick of crackers, Special K and Cheerios, Mac - n- Cheese and baked potatoes...oh, and believe it or not, pepperoni pizza (I have heard of other pregnant women wanting pizza when they were sick, too). Finally, I am able to eat some cheese, peanut butter, fruit and some veges. Meat still sounds terrible to me, but I know eating some iron and protein would definitely boost my energy. And, my favorite food is finally staying down - chocolate! I can't eat much of it, which is actually a blessing because my butt doesn't need it.

Miss P and I walk almost everyday. I want to be sure I stay somewhat in shape during this pregnancy. I also lift weights - but nothing too drastic because you are supposed to be a little careful with lifting things. I also can't wait to get back to eating normally and making healthy choices. I really want to go back to eating a really healthy diet - besides, the only way hubby will eat healthy is if I fix healthy food, so I really need to be concious of the food I buy and make. I just feel like I have eaten nothing but crap when I can eat these passed three months. I really couldn't help it, though. Being pregnant certainly does weird things to your body - it is hard to deal with, but all in all it is a pretty cool thing.

I am finally excited about baby #2...now that he or she isn't making me want to vomit all day and night. I am just so happy Miss P will have a sibling to play with, and I hope it is a girl. I always wanted a sister and I am envious of my friends who have sisters. I would love to have had a best friend that knew me since I was a baby. But, if it is a boy I will love him, too. Really, I am like every other mother - just give me a healthy baby that I can love and nurture and help grow into a respectable, responsible citizen.

Next summer I already have plans to drink martinis or good wine on a patio somewhere.

Whew!

Okay, so I am pregnant with baby #2 and have been as sick as a dog. On top of the nausea that most preggo women feel I have a terrible head cold. I am truly miserable. I feel so bad for Miss P because I don't have the energy - emotionally or physically - to give her the attention I feel she deserves. I know she is fine, but things are just so different right now and I am having a hard time coping.

The hardest part is that my job never stops. If I was working and was sick I'd just call off and spend the day in bed. You can't do that with a baby. You are on the job 24/7 and just have to suck it up. I think that is probably good because it makes you deal with your sickness and not just lay around and complain...like I am now.

We are so excited to have a sibling for P. We saw the little heartbeat on Friday and received the due date, which is Jan. 22. I was really nervous going in, scared that we may not have a healthy growing baby. I am so happy it was just fear from past experience and nothing was wrong...and that it wasn't twins. I feel good about the pregnancy - I mean, I know things will be just fine. Especially, once I get passed the first trimester sickness.

Miss P is growing up so quickly. She isn't walking, yet, but she is climbing on everything. I have to keep a close eye on her because she is up the stairs in a flash or climbing the entertainment center. She talks constantly and points things out. It is so cute. I am struggling with the food thing - but that'll pass.

Sounds stupid

My Ohio History class is finally over and my speech class ends next Wednesday. As odd as it sounds, I am really sad that these two classes are over. Mainly because so much happened during the time I was in them.

When I signed up I was worried because I was going to Florida to visit Sheilah while she was down there, and that was my first trip traveling by plane with the baby. When I got to Florida I saw how sick Sheilah was and was completely shocked. She couldn't get up off of the couch and looked like she weighed 90 pounds. Now, the last time I saw her she was wearing a size 12 or 14, so it was unbelievable to me that she got that thin. You can talk to people on the phone and realize they are feeling so well, but you truly do not know until you actually are faced with seeing them.

My friend Kelly Long went with me and helped with Miss P. Thankfully, because there is no way I could have traveled through the airport by myself. Have her there for moral support was awesome, too. Nursing the baby in public was kind of hard for me and I was really apprehensive about it. I didn't have the best experience with it, either. People weren't the nicest or the most accomodating. I was pissed because it was like I was doing something "wrong" by feeding my child. The worst was the Atlanta airport. I was seriously ready to kill someone. They said I HAD to nurse P in the bathroom. I wrote to the airport and voice my dissatisfaction with their airport.

Then when we got back from Florida two weeks later we left for Boston. Sheilah took a turn for the worse...as if that was possible at the time. The outlook was grim and we knew we had to get out there. We spent 5 days in Boston and then two weeks in Rhode Island. Sheilah passed Feb. 6 and we stayed until the following Monday because of the funeral and arrangements and such. It was difficult leaving the family because everyone was so fragile. Hubby is still have a difficult time with depression and a loss. I really think he should go to a support group or something for grieving....it is that bad.

Miss P had her first birthday. She got four teeth during the duration of my classes and is officially weaned. It makes me sad that she is no longer nursing, but it had to happen one of these days! She doesn't seem to mind too much. She is a little needier than usual, but I am sure that will pass. She is also showing signs of standing on her own - not just pulling up with help, but actually standing from a sitting position. Oh goodness, she will be a menace. She is already into everything.

My dad is much better with his heart and my mom is doing okay with her knees. She is still in pain and can't walk that far, but she is doing okay.

We got a new car. A Mazda 5. It has much more room and is really easy to get P in and out of. Well, before the baby has a meltdown I better sign off.

Television

Miss P is watching her Baby Einstein Neighborhood Animals DVD. Now, I know she technically is not supposed to be watching tv, but she seems to really enjoy it. Plus, I can get some laundry done, wash the dogs or mop the floor....things that are really hard to do with a 13 month old into everything.

I decided to just watch her to see if she actually got anything out of it. It seems as if she does. She got all excited when the puppets came on and then she started saying the names of the animals she knew when they came on screen. The cat came up and she said "cat" and then "meow, meow." I found out she knows the word for "mouse," too. It is so cute how babies love animals.

I took her to the aquarium today to see the fish. There was a little boy feeding the Koi (sp?). She thought that was pretty cool and was beaming from ear to ear as the fish came up for a nibble. Unfortunately, mama was out of quarters. They had a couple of stingrays, too. One of them kept coming up the side of the tank and part of the way out of the tank to say "hello." It was kind of cool, but then he kept doing it. I think it wanted us to take it home. Well, after what happened to the crocodile hunter I am anti-stingray for a while...even though they are pretty cool looking.

We saw all types of fish and coral and anemon. Sponge Bob wasn't there...that was a little disappointing.

Cracks me up

My child cracks me up. She loves to get under things. Under the table, under her highchair, under her exersaucer, under the blanket - it is so funny. Everytime I do laundry she gets into and spreads it all over the living room...go figure. Well, she got ahold of my bra and decided it was a really cool play thing.

She carried my bra around for the afternoon, dragging it here and there. She got under, or more like "into" her exersaucer and dragged my bra with her. I was laughing so hard at her. I tried to take my bra away and she cried and cried like she needed to have that bra.

For Memorial Day we went to Grandma and Grandpa's. P had fun playing with her cousins. They kept getting into the dog cage and playing around and screaming at each other as loudly as they could. Carlye kept trying to pick her up, but since she is only three she isn't that big herself. P pretty much just ended up rolling around with her on the ground as Carlye tried to get her into a sitting position. It is great that P has them to play with.

That brings me to how social P is. She kept wanting to go to her Grandma, Aunt Carol and Candyce. I guess she was tired of her mommy. That was really nice to see, though. She doesn't just need me to comfort her.

How did I get so lucky?

Miss P and I went to the Farmer's Market this morning to look at the plants and homemade food. I don't think she was really into going when I got her dressed this morning. She kept grabbing at her toys and books - anything to keep from putting her clothes on. I think she just wanted to play and have me read to her.

I can't believe when I watch her how intelligent she seems. I mean, it is so cool to see that her toy of choice is books. She loves to look at the pictures and point at the things on the page so I can tell her what they are. Animals are her favorite, especially when I make the sounds of the animals. She now points to a cat and says cat "meow." She also does a sheep "baaaa." It is so stinkin' cute.

I believe she will be a talker. When we went to the park yesterday all she did was babble. I am not sure if she was talking to me or just talking to talk. She can say all sorts of things. Here are a few things on her list that I understand:

Drink
Mama
Dada
Dog
Piper
Potty
Train
Tree
Bird
Cat
Meow
Bottle
Snack
Shhhh
Bye-bye
Book
Bath
Teddy

My angel

It is so weird to see my baby exerting her own little desires and annoyances. The whole time she was a little baby (younger than 10 months) she pretty much was easy going and let me know what she wanted, but if I couldn't understand her it was no big deal. But, that has changed. The days of mommy not understanding and being passive about it are over. Now, if I don't "get" what she is saying to me she gets mad and squeals contorting her face into a look of sheer dissatisfaction.

Miss P has officially come out of the the box of just letting the world happen and observing to making things happen for herself. She teases the dog, she hides, she scoots away from if I am about to take her favorite toy away, she points and tells me what she wants more of to eat, and she brings over the books she wants me to read to her. It is amazing. It makes me a little sad because she is definitetly not a "baby" any longer, but a baby going into toddlerhood. Luckily, she still loves when I hold her and kiss her and doesn't get mad at me if I just want to cuddle her. She is my little angel.

What a pair

I was walking Miss P yesterday in the park and I went to sit on a park bench to point out the trees, the cars and the other dogs. Miss P also needed a drink of water because it was quite hot yesterday.

As I turned the stoller to face me, I looked at my darling child in her stoller and she had the hugest booger hanging out of her nose. Not only a huge booger, but her face was a mess. She had left-over food from dinner smeared on her cheek, her eye and all in her hair. I thought I had wiped her face clean, but obviously I missed a bunch of spots! I also noticed she has dirty fingernails from playing outside and because she scoots her butt was filthy! I sat there laughing thinking my goodness, no wonder that person just looked and smiled at me that smile. He must of thought mom had a rough day and just looked at the baby as proof.

The fact is, I didn't have a rough day. I meerly pulled a typical mom maneuver - missing several spots of filth on my baby's face because she's a baby, she doesn't sit still to be cleaned. She'll barely sit still for me to get the apple smear from her forehead much less cleaning her whole face. Now, I have to admit, Miss P is a good girl and very patient. Usually I do get to all the spots, but somehow they show up again and again. Almost like a trick candle that no matter how many times you blow on it, it stays lit.

To top off the filth of my daughter I smelled horrible! I knew I was sweating all day from being outside at the park with some of my mommy friends and taking our after-dinner walk, but c'mon, I showered earlier and applied deoderant TWice!

I guess we were fit to just stick together yesterday, and had a smell and a filth about us that warned off all strangers. haha!

Mother's Day

Wow - I had a terrific Mother's Day. Hubby and Miss P got me another year's worth of red wine from around the world. Hubby got that for me the Christmas I was pregnant with Miss P and I was so excited. I loved seeing the wine bottles pile up. Well, after Miss P was born it didn't take long for me to get through all the bottles. I am such a lush!! haha! Well, I shared a LOT and gave a few bottles away, so essentially I didn't drink all of them. Hubby said it was a gift just for me. He doesn't drink, so it really is all for me!

We had a Mother's Day brunch at the house. I made egg casserole, spinach squares, a lemon cake and fresh fruit. I got my mom a compact from her favorite store Brighton and made a pot from Miss P with her little footprints all over it. Miss P wasn't happy about getting her little feet dipped in paint, but we mustered through it and her grandma loved it.

After brunch we went to plant flowers on my grandmas' graves. I can't believe they have both been gone over 12 years. My Grandma Browning died from ovarian cancer a week before my brother's wedding in January 1993. Grandma Williams died of what they think was stroke in September 1991. Grandma Williams was leaving for Hawaii the next day, so it was totally unexpected. She had just received a clean bill of health from the doctor not a month before her passing. I remember Mary Alice saying Grandma told her she was going to paradise...well, she truly was. We just couldn't believe she went before Grandma Browning because she was so sick with cancer and Grandma Williams was so healthy. I guess you just never know. All I know is that I still miss them terribly and I wish they were here to enjoy Peyton.

They both visited me in the hospital when I had Peyton. I think everyone thinks I am crazy, but I swear they came in through the window to give a kiss to the baby and then leave. I totally smelled them both and felt them both.

Let's just say that with EVERYTHING this Mother's Day was very special.

It was hard, though, without Sheilah. We had a wake to go to on Saturday for one of Shane's clients. He couldn't make it more than 5 minutes and we left. He had a tough weekend. I think visiting her grave this summer will be very difficult, but we have to do it. Even just out of sheer respect for Sheilah - to honor what a wonderful mother and friend she was. We miss her terribly.

It is official

Today is officially Miss P's first birthday. I can't believe I have a one year old!

People have asked if we were having a smaller party for her tonight and we are not. I took her to the conservatory to see the butterflies get released. She wore her little outfit Cousin Candyce gave her with butterflies all over it and her little purple shoes with butterflies on them...couldn't have been more perfect! haha!

She is playing right now and I noticed she has already destroyed one of her new books. There is a dung beetle laying on the floor ripped out of her insects pop-up book. I wonder why she chose that particular bug. I mean, it isn't colorful and it wasn't one of the bugs that really jumped off the page. She must just like the way it looks, or perhaps not. hmmm... She is also eating her snacks off the floor. I didn't give them to her that way - she dumped them. I guess they taste better with a little dirt on them.